What Couples That Stay Together Don’t Do

 

by Matt Duczeminski
culled from:lifehack.org

Being in a relationship requires hard work. There are so many things that you have to take into consideration in order to keep the relationship healthy, but you ultimately know every effort you make is completely worth it. Sometimes, though, it’s what you don’t do as a couple that keeps the two of you growing stronger and stronger every day.
They don’t complain to friends about their significant other
I’ve seen enough Seinfeld episodes to know that talking about your mate with your friends is only going to get you in trouble. You really shouldn’t talk about anyone at all behind their backs, but your significant other should be completely off limits. The only reason you should ever bring up your love to anyone else is if you have something amazing to say about them.
They don’t compare themselves to other couples
Strong couples have faith in their own relationship, and don’t feel the need to be ahead of the curve in any way. They live at their own pace, and make major moves when they’re ready. There really is no need to live by a timeline, or think about what stage in the relationship society says you should be after a certain amount of time together. Keeping up with the Jonses is so 1950s, anyway.
They don’t place blame or play the victim
Couples who always blame each other for shortcomings end up falling apart pretty easily, as do couples in which one person constantly makes a martyr out of him or herself. Couples should share the blame, and discuss went wrong when things go south. Working through your problems in a calm manner ensures that you’ll continue to grow together as a couple.
They don’t criticize one another
Everyone has faults, and strong couples know this. They don’t harp on one another’s shortcomings, and instead learn to accept them. The best couples are made up of two individuals who focus on strengthening their own weaknesses in order to make themselves worthy of the other person.
They don’t attempt to read the others mind, or expect them to read theirs
In other words, strong couples communicate. Like I said earlier, they are able to discuss what’s bothering them without fear of it turning into a massive blowout argument. It should always be a nice surprise when your significant other has read your mind (like when he knows you’ve had a long day so he prepares your favorite meal), but it should never be a requirement.
They don’t nag
Remember Married…With Children? Peggy was the absolute definition of a nag. And the Bundys hated each other. Don’t be that person that’s constantly telling the other one to clean up their mess, do the dishes, cook dinner. If it gets to a breaking point, of course you should bring it up and have a serious conversation about what’s bugging you (see above), but if every tiny little thing is starting to get to you, maybe you’re not as happy as you thought you were in the first place.
They don’t take things too seriously
This goes along with the last point. If your significant other left his shoes in the middle of the floor, or she forgot to put your clothes in the dryer like you asked, is it really worth making a big deal about it? Strong couples know when to let things go, because they realize the relationship is made up of two human beings who are prone to mistakes every once in a while. Give one another a break every once in a while, and you’ll surely be a much happier couple.