10 Things I Learned While Interviewing Tony Robbins About His New Book “Money”

by James Altucher
culled from:http://www.jamesaltucher.com

When we got to Tony Robbins’ house we were specifically prevented from photographing his  sneakers. I took out the camera but his assistant shook her head. “No”. Which made me feverish to take the picture even more but I didn’t.

Everyone takes their shoes off. And all the other shoes were like normal human shoes. Then there were his sneakers.

My business partner called me after we did our a major deal in 2004. I was about to go broke when we did this deal but we did it and it saved my life.  My partner said, “you’ll never guess what number I wrote down in 2001 after we both read “Awaken the Giant Within” ‘ and of course I guessed correctly. It was the number we made in 2004.

In 2001 he was ashamed to tell me. “Guess who I am reading.” And then we realized we were reading the same books. Both of Tony Robbins books. But they were written so long ago I kept going to the bookstore thinking Tony Robbins was going to have a new book out any day.

Now Tony Robbins has a new book out today. For the first time in 25 years I think.

Bill Clinton is the first blurb on the inside of his book (I ask him about that in his interview: “Why does Bill Clinton even call you? What do you guys talk about?”)

So I was really excited to fly down to his house in Florida and interview him a few weeks ago. It was like going down to visit a member of the X-Men.

Claudia and I got to his house and his staff helped us set up our equipment and then we took a walk out to the ocean. It was beautiful. We felt lucky and relaxed.

Then we went back inside. I told Claudia to start the recording before Tony even showed up. So we could pick up all idle chit chat. When Tony arrived we started talking and he said, “this is good. We should record this” and then he laughed when Claudia said we were already recording.

The book is called “Money” a topic I sometimes know a lot about and sometimes know nothing about. I ran hedge funds, funds of hedge funds, and have advised many money managers, often people managing billions of dollars.

Tony took it one step further and interviewed the top money managers in the world, how they do what they do. He exposed many of the scams still on Wall Street. He gives simple advice that everyone can follow.

We spoke for an hour. Here’s what I learned from the book and from talking to him. I’m mostly going to leave out the financial stuff. All of that is in the book: the scams, the ways to avoid them, the interviews with the amazing people he spoke with.

Here’s what I personally learned.

A) ASK LOUSY QUESTIONS, GET LOUSY ANSWERS.

Many people say, “Why did this have to happen to me?” Or “Why did I lose that job when I was good?”

These are lousy questions. You will never get an answer that makes your life better. I get bitter, resentful, angry. And anger is  a form of fear.  I’m usually afraid I’m going to go broke. And if I go broke, I’m afraid I die.

You have to ask good questions: “What can I do to improve?” or “How can I find a better job?” or “How can I be grateful that I lost this job?”

Because inside of every problem is the seeds of a “difficult gratitude problem” and it always improves your life to solve those problems.

B) TO MASTER ANYTHING, TALK TO THE EXPERTS.

Tony told us about a time when he was 24 years old and he wanted to train members of the military to shoot better.

“I had never shot a gun in my life,” he said and laughed in his raspy voice. He was scared he wouldn’t do a good job.

So how did he solve this problem? He spoke to five excellent sharpshooters, figured out what they all had in common, and then used that to increase the results of the students in the school by 50%.

C) BRING THE TARGET CLOSER.

Specifically, for every student he had them bring the target only a few feet away. Everyone shot bullseyes. Then he moved the target back a foot. Bullseyes. Then another foot. And so on.

This is true for everything in life. I look at the example Mark Cuban told me. He didn’t just start Broadcast.com and make a billion. First he started a bar. Then he started a computer business. Then a hedge fund.

He brought the target very close and then moved it further and further away as he succeeded at each thing.

I thought about teaching my 12 year old how to serve in tennis. First I had her serve from the net. “All you have to do is hit the ball into this huge box.” Then when she got 10 in a row I had her move back a few feet until she hit the base line. Now she’s got the most consistent server on her team (I’m bragging).

D) LOOK AT GOALS DIFFERENTLY.

Tony told us of one time he asked people what their goals were. One guy said, “I want to make a billion dollars!” At first this would seem like an admirable goal – set it high! There’s that horrible saying, “Aim for the moon, because even if you miss it you’ll find yourself among the stars.”

But Tony said, this guy didn’t really understand his goal.

He broke it down. “Why do you want a billion?” And the first answer was, “I want my own plane”. Tony told him, “Well a plane costs $100 million and you might only be flying 12 times a year. If you charter a yet for $30,000 an hour then it will take you forever to spend $100 million.” So suddenly the guy didn’t need $1 billion anymore. He needed $900 million.

“By the end of that session,” Tony said, “it turns out to achieve the exact lifestyle he thought he needed a billion for, he needed $10 million.” This is still a lot of money but this was Tony’s way of bringing the target closer.

When I read that in his book, I did the exercise with Claudia. Her numbers went down by 90% when we really went through it. What happens then? You feel relief. You don’t have to be on the hamster wheel of money for your whole life. What you want is freedom, not money.

E) EXPERTS KNOW THEY KNOW NOTHING.

All the time I get spam financial newsletters saying, “The Markets are going to zero!” or “This stock is going to go up 1000%!” The reality is the experts know zero. With every investment expert that Tony interviewed they not only had a plan B. They had a plan C, D, and E.

The best professionals in the business admit they know nothing.

Nobody can predict the future. Anything can happen. When I got out of the “future” business I was much happier. I got into the possibility business.

This made me a lot more successful. Leave the future business for the possibility business and the world will get infinitely larger.

F) HIS ENERGY IS INFECTIOUS.

Somebody told me he jumps up and down on a trampoline before speaking in front of 10,000 people. He wants his energy at peak.

I thought about doing that before my most recent TED talk but there was no trampoline available. But it’s true. When he came downstairs to talk to us he was very excited about the potential for his book to help people. It almost made me want to write about financial stuff again.

After Claudia and I left his house (and, by the way, that’s a BIG house) we had so many ideas about creative things we could do we almost had to pull over and calm down. So we went to Cheesecake Factory and ate until we exploded.

G) THE TONY ROBBINS METHOD.

In the interview I said, “Ok, I figured it out. You use “the Tony Robbins Method'”. Which I defined as,

1. at first you don’t know anything.
2. you find 5 people who are the experts in the world.
3. you extensively interview them.
4. you figure out the most simple things they have in common with each other.
5. you do that simple thing over and over and over and over (repetition).

And that’s how you succeed.

H) PEOPLE NEED CERTAINTY. PEOPLE NEED VARIETY.

Everyone needs to know where their next meal is coming from. And maybe their next kiss. And maybe… a bunch of things. We crave some stability, which was the appeal of corporate jobs for the past 100 years (although that period is now slowly coming to an end) and was the appeal of all these mutual fund ads that say, “we return 9% a year”.

But most of that stability is a lie. You have to find stability inside yourself first.

For me, it’s stable to make money from multiple sources. To know that if I have ideas every day, then life will be more stable than if I don’t.

But we also need variety. A marriage will die if you stick to the same routine year after year (“the 7 year itch”). A job will get boring. We only have one life. It doesn’t mean you quit your marriage or quit your job. But always look for new things to learn. Always look for new ways to surprise. Always look for new ways to break out of your comfort zone.

It’s this dance of certainty and uncertainty that made us human and we often lean too much in one way or the other. But if you did that on the dance floor you’d fall over.

Tony describes this in the book in a financial sense. His goal is to expose the lies in the financial community and get you thinking about how to provide stability there so you can find variety in other parts of your life.

I) SHOW PEOPLE YOU ARE GRATEFUL.

When we are very young we build strong neural circuits across our brains so that electricity can pass quickly between certain neurons. This is why it’s easier to learn when we are young then when we are older.

After the age of 20, we lose the ability to “insulate” these neural circuits with myelin, the substance which cements these circuits for life. This is where our basic intelligence comes from. Building as many circuits as possible with myelin protecting them.

I think the same thing happens with relationships. Business, personal, family relationships, etc. They start off young and that’s when you can build almost a “relationship myelin” around them. You do that by being honest with people, by showing gratitude, by not overusing the connection, by treating it just right so it develops into something that can last a lifetime.

If someone does something for you, show you are grateful.

J) BE THE SERVANT OF MANY.

Tony said in the interview exactly how much he saved in taxes by moving from California to Florida. It was a big number. He had a big house. He’s spoken in front of three million people. He’s feeding 50 million people. This is a process that took him 30 years or more.

He said the way he did it was by being the servant of many. By constantly adding value to others, you get value come back to you. It becomes the most natural thing.

Tony Robbins has his critics I am sure. But I know he has helped me get through a hard time 13 years ago, maybe even saving my life. I know he has helped others. People always seem to be afraid to admit it. I know I almost feel ashamed to say I needed help.

But it’s by helping others and accepting help that we grow as a society. Sometimes people think “choosing myself” is a selfish concept. But it’s the only way you build the strength to help others. It’s the only way you surrender to not some man-made force, but a force inside yourself that is perhaps the most powerful there is.

Claudia and I left his house and drove around and around talking about what the interview meant to us. And I guess we still are.

Read More

Why Successful People Leave Their Loser Friends Behind

by Brenton Weyi
culled from:http://addicted2success.com
We all want to be amazing. We all want to be successful, happy, and regarded as important figures in our fields. I am sure that you’ve heard all of the keys to success before: planning, hard work, perseverance, etc.
But today we are going to look at the one factor that will likely make or break your success: the people you surround yourself with.
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn

Want to be Amazing? Surround Yourself with Amazing People

The Make or Break List

A good friend of mine once told me of a man he knows who brought himself up from rags to riches.  Living paycheck to paycheck was a luxury for this man, and he decided that he was tired of being trapped by his own life. The poor man looked around at his friends, and noticed that one of them – who wasn’t particularly smart or more talented – had become quite wealthy. He asked this man how he accrued this wealth, how he was able to become a millionaire. The wealthy man’s response was simple: “keep the right company.”
The man took that advice to heart. He quickly noticed that all of the other friends he had hated hard work and had no desire to improve themselves. So he sought out new friends, he went around to conventions and seminars to connect with people who had made something of themselves. After he had completely replaced the people in his network, he decided to make a list. This list was simple. It had a column for people who would improve his life, and a column for people who would drag him down.
If someone could improve his life, he spent as much time around them as possible. If someone could drag him down, he never spent more than five minutes around them. After following his “make or break” list, the man was able to become a millionaire within three years.

No One does it Alone

The five-minute rule may be a little extreme, but there is an important lesson to learn from it: if you surround yourself with positive people who build you up, the sky is the limit.
There is an ideal in our society of the “self-made” man – a man who is able to find success through his own efforts. Now, don’t get me wrong, success does require an immense amount of determination and personal grit. However, success also depends on the ability to connect with people who have already made it.
There was once a man named Ernest Hemingway. If you aren’t familiar with Ernest Hemingway, he was one of the greatest American writers of all time. Even a great writer like Hemingway didn’t succeed on his own. He worked at a newspaper where his boss – a writer named Sherwood Anderson – helped him get his first novel published. Hemingway then connected with other no-name writers like F. Scott Fitzgerald, Virginia Woolf, and James Joyce.
This community of great writers helped to influence his style, success, and drove him to write every single day and become one of the greatest authors of his generation.
Hemingway is a testament to the fact that innate talent alone does not equal success. It’s hard to keep up a strict schedule to perfect your craft or improve yourself if you don’t have people around you with similar interests. Your network – your five key people – will determine the way you think, the way you act, and the way you approach your life goals.

Three Essential People

A mentor once told me that no matter how many close people you have in your network, if you want to be truly great, you must have three essential people in your life at all times: 

1. A person who is older and more successful than you to learn from
2. A person who is equal to you to exchange ideas with
3. A person below you to coach and keep you energized

A great figure of history who embodied this principle was Aristotle. Aristotle was one of the greatest minds to ever grace this beautiful Earth, but this was only so because he was constantly challenging himself and working to refine his talents. He exchanged ideas with other Greek philosophers in the “Academy,” learned from his mentor Plato, and taught a young boy named Alexander…who would later become “Alexander the Great.”
Every great person was, is, or will be successful because of the company he or she keeps. They will make an impact because of a successful network of driven peers who provide both inspiration and healthy competition.
If you want to be remarkable, you must constantly challenge yourself and surround yourself with remarkable people. So think about what your goals are, and take a look around you. Do you need to write a “make or break” list?

Do you have the kind of people who are going to lead you to live the life of your dreams?
“Don’t join an easy crowd. Go where the expectations and the demands to perform and achieve are high.” – Jim Rohn

Strive to be better. Strive to be more. Strive to be amazing.

Read More

8 ways many people are killing their sex life unknowingly

culled from:pulse.ng

Sexual underperformance and dissatisfaction is something many people have to deal with daily.

Many people approach sex and fail woefully; many men either suffer weak erection or quick ejaculation while some women just can’t come.

1. You're not sleeping enough. It is good to be ambitious and pursue a career with passion. However, the hours you spend sitting at your computer working away can damage your sex life. A research shows that each extra hour of sleep corresponded to higher levels of sexual desire. So get enough hours of sleep.
2. You're using anti-depressants. Antidepressants do damage to the pleasure region of the brain and make it extremely hard for both men and women to climax. Sometimes, it is even impossible to climax. So you might need to get a different treatment for your depression.
3. You are stressed. Working too hard and worrying too much will leave you stressed. This stress in turn makes sex a chore with the prospect of an orgasm almost not there. You will need to empty your mind and unwind for you to enjoy sex and orgasm.
4. You are not drinking enough water. This may sound strange, but not drinking enough water is not good for your sex life. It is even worse to take too much alcohol. Water and other hydrating fluids help orgasms, because our bodies need water to work properly.
5. You sit too much. Too much time in a chair can shorten the muscles of the pelvic floor (for women) and the resulting tightness of these muscles can stand in the way of climaxing. So get active do stretches once in a while.
6. You are too self-conscious. Focusing on personal flaws or skills and technique in bed is sometimes the reason many people cannot orgasm. Many men worry about their small penises or stamina or skills while some women worry about how they smell, look, their breasts, body shape and other things they see as flaws. With all these in mind, an orgasm is almost impossible.
7. You don’t know your body. Some people also have problems with getting an orgasm and generally enjoying sex because they have not found out what makes them tick in bed. Find out what you like and make sure your partner does those things when you get in bed.
8. You don’t speak during sex. If you have found out what you like about sex, why not ask for it? Some people, mostly women, take sex as it comes and never make requests as to how they want it to go. What happens then is that they do not really enjoy it, being just passive partners. So talk about sex even as you have sex.

It’s time to make sex a pleasurable experience, rather than an obligation to your partner.

Trust Wha’anda, if you get these things sorted out, you’ll find out new pleasures in making love with your partner.

Read More

10 Creative Ways To Make Money Online

by Joel Brown
culled from:http://addicted2success.com
If you’d claimed it was possible for the average guy on the street to make millions of dollars online just a decade ago, the chances are good you’d have heard nothing but laughter in response. Today, though, there are countless Internet millionaires who turned a great idea into obscene profit, used the power of the web to promote their offline business or simply worked their butt off to sell their skills online.
While it’s unlikely that you’ll ever earn enough to buy your own private island, there’s nothing to stop you from using your skills to make a comfortable living online. In fact, while the media would have you believe that online success stories are limited to just a few lucky, hard working people who stumbled on a great idea that went on to make millions, the reality is that there are tens of thousands of people who make a living exclusively online. Here are just ten ways you can join them.

How To Make Money Online

1. Sell Stock Photography

The Internet has caused an explosion in the demand for stock photography. As the number of media and commercial outlets has increased dramatically with the growth of online media there’s an enormous need for high quality stock photos.
Yuri Arcurs is the man everyone turns to for their stock photo needs. As the world’s top selling stock photographer he sells an image every 8 seconds, 24 hours a day (that works out to over 4 million images each year). Arcurs makes millions of dollars each year simply by being the best at what he does. There are lots of great photographers in the world and the barrier to entry is as low as ownership of a camera, but Arcurs has managed to build a reputation online for consistent, high quality and imaginative images.
If you’re a professional photographer (or even just a hobbyist) you should consider the possibilities of selling stock images online.

2. Tweet For Sponsors

SponsoredTweets.com is an online platform that allows you to make money on Twitter by charging sponsors for communicating their advertising messages to your followers. You set the amount you want to get paid for every tweet you make, choose a category and select keywords you want to work with. You then wait for advertisers to contact you and take you up on your offer, paying you the amount you specified for each tweet that you make.
All throughout the process, the tweeter has full control over his or her account, and may choose the wordings of the tweets, or may choose to reject the tweet altogether.

3. Blog for Ad Revenues

If, however, you already have a blog with a devoted following it should be easy for you to leverage your readers into hard cash. Ad networks such as Google AdSense pay big money to place their ads on your site, and you’ll receive a payment every time a reader clicks one. While it’s easy to go overboard and fill every spare pixel, if you place your ads well it’s possible to make a comfortable income from your site.
One of the most successful bloggers around today is John Chow, a Canadian blogger who makes more than $40,000 a month through ad sales and other revenue streams. Ironically, his blog is about ways to make money online.

4. Sell Affiliate Products

If you have a flair for sales copy you could try your hand at selling products for affiliates. While many people take the seedy route of selling diet pills and penis enlargement products, if you want to keep your conscience clear you’ll find that Amazon runs a very successful affiliate program that allows you to make money advertising any of the products for sale on their site. eBay also have a pretty good affiliate setup, with their top affiliates earning $1.3 Million a month, WOW!

5. Write an e Book

In recent years the self-publishing world has exploded online to the point at which you don’t even have to run your own site in order to promote a book. Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Kobo are just a few of the sites on which you could self-publish today, with commission rates of around 70% available on every sale.
The number of eBooks on Amazon reached 8 million last year, and Amazon stated that eBooks are outselling hard backs 2 to 1, 62% of ebook sales fell into the Thriller and Mystery genre, so if you feel that you could pull this style of genre off then you will be in for a good chance of sales.
26 year old self published author, Amanda Hocking from Minnesota makes more than $2 Million a year from her ebook sales. Amanda Hocking’s stories about, trolls, vampires and zombies and  ‘supernatural teen romances’ sell for $2.99 or for as little as $.99.

6. Become a Virtual Assistant

Every small businessman would love to hire a full time assistant to take care of the little things, but many simply can’t afford one. Thanks to the Internet, though, they can now hire part time assistants who work for a whole host of clients, and all at a much lower cost than a full time staff member.
If you work from home this may be a perfect opportunity to make a consistent income. Virtual assistants can earn $20 an hour in return for booking travel tickets, interacting with clients and dealing with the daily needs of small businesses.

7. Lease Your Skills

Most people have at least one skill that carries a market value, though until now that skill may have been impossible to monetize in the traditional job market.
Sites such as 99Designs, Elance, Freelancer and iWriter allow people to hire out their skills as writers, coders, designers, translators and lots more on a contract basis. Freelancing sites are a great way to boost your income in your free time, and with enough motivation and hard work you could find yourself earning a comfortable full time income from them.

8. Selling on eBay

eBay is a great way to turn your unwanted things into a little spending money, but it isn’t just a place to sell your old Star Wars action figures. In fact, eBay’s global marketplace can offer a great way for canny traders to buy and sell their way to profit. By buying wholesale you can sell anything with a mark up. Even better, if you have the skills to make things people want to buy you could start your own home-based craft business, selling to customers around the world.
Matt & Amanda Clarkson are a successful couple who so far have managed to make over $8 Million in eBay sales.

9. Become A Mobile App Tester

People that are rather uncertain of their application development potential can still make some money through the usage of iPhone apps.
People that have the time and desire to test iPhone apps and discover bugs can be rewarded payments for their efforts. uTest is one such application. Individuals that have signed up will also build some reputation on the basis of the testing they have done so far.
Better reputation signifies access to more profitable app testing opportunities.

10. Designing T-Shirts

Finally, if you have something of an artistic streak you could kick off the next viral sensation with your own range of funky, arty t-shirts. Sites such as CafePress allow users to upload their own t-shirt designs and sell them on their personal online store.
You can also contact distributors such as threadless.com or designbyhumans.com to release your t-shirt designs to the masses.
If your designs catch the eye you could be looking at enormous profits when they take off in a big way.
Checkout our article The Top 10 Tips On Starting Your Own Successful Clothing Line, this should give you an idea on how to kick things off.

Conclusion

As you can see, to make money online you don’t have to be particularly skilled with computers. You don’t need to be know how to build your own website from the ground up, and you don’t have to be a mogul with millions of dollars to invest in success. If you have any kind of artistic skills, creativity or business savvy you can turn it into profit.
In short, you should understand that the online world is just like real life. The same opportunities are there for the taking, but instead of drawing your customers from just your home town you can reach out with your great ideas to the far reaches of the earth.
So why not start today?

Read More

17 Og Mandino Quotes To Move & Inspire You

by Joel Brown -
culled from:http://addicted2success.com
A collection of highly inspirational “Og Mandino” quotes to guide you through a success filled life.

Inspirational Og Mandino Quotes

“Always render more and better service than is expected of you, no matter what your task may be.” – Og Mandino
“Always do your best. What you plant now, you will harvest later.” – Og Mandino

“Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.” – Og Mandino
“Remind thyself, in the darkest moments, that every failure is only a step toward success, every detection of what is false directs you toward what is true, every trial exhausts some tempting form of error, and every adversity will only hide, for a time, your path to peace and fulfillment. ” – Og Mandino
“Today will never happen again. Don’t waste it with a false start or no start at all.”  – Og Mandino
“I am here for a purpose and that purpose is to grow into a mountain, not to shrink to a grain of sand. Henceforth I will apply ALL my efforts to become the highest mountain of all and I will strain my potential until it cries for mercy.” – Og Mandino
“I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.” – Og Mandino
“Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time.” – Og Mandino
“Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough.” – Og Mandino
“Cherish each hour of this day for it can NEVER return.” – Og Mandino
“I was not delivered unto this world in defeat, nor does failure course in my veins. I am not a sheep waiting to be prodded by my shepherd. I am a lion and I refuse to talk, to walk, to sleep with the sheep. I will hear not those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious. Let them join the sheep. The slaughterhouse of failure is not my destiny.” – Og Mandino
“Take the attitude of a student, never be too big to ask questions, never know too much to learn something new.” – Og Mandino
“Welcome every morning with a smile. Look on the new day as another special gift from your Creator, another golden opportunity.” – Og Mandino
“Your only limitations are those you set up in your mind, or permit others to set up for you.” – Og Mandino
“Work as though you would live forever, and live as though you would die today. Go another mile!” – Og Mandino
“I will not allow yesterday’s success to lull me into today’s complacency, for this is the great foundation of failure.” – Og Mandino
“Obstacles are necessary for success because victory comes only after many struggles and countless defeats.” – Og Mandino

Read More

7 tips to make your pre-wedding party awesome

culled from:pulse.ng

Bridal showers can be very stressful and a little awkward too, where all your female friends and relatives from both sides, meet in one place.

Usually, this is the ideal time for you to have fun with your girls, and also indulge in your feminine side, especially if your fiancé isn't buying into your Pinterest fantasies for the wedding day.

Whether you’re the bride, bridesmaid, or the hostess, there are lots of ideas out there for throwing a beautiful and memorable bridal shower that won’t bore everyone.

Here are seven ideas and tips for throwing an awesome bridal shower:

1. Serve finger-foods: From cucumber sandwiches to mini burger sliders, finger-food is perfect for creating a relaxed and elegant affair. For a tea party-themed shower, arrange several tiered cupcake towers with a mix of mini sandwiches, scones, and biscuits. Since most bridal showers are during the daytime, whatever you choose, the key here is serving easy-to-eat food that’s light and refreshing.
2. Set the tone with an interesting invitation: Planning a wedding is all about compromise, since you and your partner are likely going into this with different ideas of what makes a perfect ceremony. The bridal shower is where you get to display whatever style and colours you’re loving at the moment. If you’re the host planning for the bride, make sure to get an idea of her favourite colours and ideas for a bridal shower.
3. Go for sophisticated florals for table decor: Forget those cheesy paper decorations and party confetti — sophisticated floral centerpieces are all you need for a chic bridal shower. Get vases from around the house or purchase an assortment in a bright hue, then simply fill with the bride’s favourite store-bought flowers.
4. Create a stylish decor: Now is the time to recreate all those crafts that you’ve been adding to your Pinterest board for the last five years. It’s much easier to make those super cute, DIY teacup candles for an intimate bridal shower than it is for even a medium-sized wedding.
5. Share sweets while opening presents: Sometimes the present unwrapping can end up taking over the shower, especially if the bride doesn’t keep things moving along while opening. To avoid this, keep everyone entertained with fun desserts and candies during this part of the shower to make the time fly. Stick with small treats for easy snacking while mingling.
6. Have a chic cocktail bar: Whether it’s punch or margaritas, everyone loves a good drink bar. This idea doubles as decor — cover a buffet table in a cute table cloth and set out champagne, a mix of juice options, and bowls full of fruit for garnish. Finish the set up with colourful paper cards to label each item and help guide guests.
7. Give your guests useful favours: Take your shower to the next level with cute gift bags or favours for your guests. You can't go wrong with homemade jars of jam (or store-bought!) wrapped in colourful fabric and tied at the top; it’ll be a hit with the old ladies and college friends alike.

Read More

7 'crazy' things couples do that are totally normal

culled from:pulse.ng

If you are in a relationship or know people who are part of one, then you know there some really strange things that couples do, like keeping the bathroom door open while doing one's business, eating off each other's plates, sharing the same toothbrush, and so on.

Besides these, there are many other things couples do that people might find totally crazy.

Here's a few of those things all couples do that seem a little wacky but really ... are totally normal.

1. You're not afraid to see each other at your worst: Is your hair askew and mascara running from last night's festivities? Not a problem. Unshaven and no energy to brush your teeth? No big deal. Doesn't phase you in the slightest anymore.
2. You secretly spy on your neighbours: You don't have cable and their lives are actually pretty interesting.
3. You play childhood pranks on each other... and they're hilarious.
4. You laugh at each other when the other person falls down: The circumstances surrounding the fall are irrelevant. You both agree that all falls are hilarious.
5. You do sexy dances for each other: However, they are neither sexy, nor dances.
6. You find free ways to entertain yourselves at home: No, it's not sex and yes, it sometimes lands you in the ER.
7. You inspect each other for random ailments... and random body hairs.

Read More

4 Ways To Stop Being A Control Freak

culled from:careerealism.com


But, ya know what? That’s not altogether true. I know when I’m being overly controlling. I feel it. Just like an alcoholic yearns for one more drink, I crave control in any situation. I see myself jumping in, taking charge, directing the flow of traffic. It’s cringe-worthy at times. And yet, I just continue to do it.
So recently, I decided to take control (release control) of the situation by exploring the causes and creating strategies for how I can improve my behavior. If you’re in a similar boat, I encourage you to do the same. After all, being a control freak isn’t as likeable as it sounds.

Why Am I Such A Freak?

So, is there a reason for this kind of character trait? (Note: we’re not going to call it a “flaw.” It’s just a thing that could be improved, okay?) Where does it come from?
After a little research (and some self-reflection), I’ve discovered that most control issues stem from a few things. See if any of the following statements ring true for you:

• I have incredibly high standards and I don’t trust others to uphold them.
• I have high anxiety and taking a leadership role makes me feel more comfortable and calm.
• I have a fear of disorganization, failure, and chaos. If I’m in control and bad things happen, it’s my own fault. And I trust myself more than others to keep the bad stuff away.
• I have a love of the spotlight. By taking control, I often get all the credit or appreciation for a job well done.
• I have a big ego. I like to be in a position to show off my skills.
• I like to feel needed. Being the one in control makes my presence seem more important.

Obviously, the items on this list aren’t very flattering. Don’t worry; no judgment here.
It’s also pretty easy to see that these issues might cause some problems.

What’s Wrong With It?

I used to tell myself that being a control freak wasn’t such a big deal. Only, it is. And here’s why:

It Can Seriously Damage Your Relationships

Think about it: When you try to control every situation, even if it’s not your intention, others start to worry that you don’t trust them. They also get sick of following your lead. You may notice friends and family starting to pull away from you, getting irritated or exasperated. Or perhaps they’ve simply given up and accepted you’re the one who gets control. That’s not really fair to them and, ultimately, they could end up resenting you for it.

It Can Cause You Emotional, Mental, And Physical Stress

And most of the time, it’s completely unnecessary! When we always feel like we have to be in control of the world around us every second of every day, we’re adding a tremendous amount of pressure to our lives. We do it to ourselves and it’s just not healthy.

So, What Can I Do?

If you’re a control freak (like me) I have a few suggestions. These come from personal experience so trust me when I tell you they work. They’re not all easy to do, but if you’re dedicated to making a change, this is a great place to start.

1. Let Go Of Your Ego

Take yourself down a notch. You’re great, but so are others. You have to share the spotlight and let others use their skills. Believe it or not, you’re not the best at everything.

2. Delegate To Others

Start small. Train people how to do things if they aren’t familiar. See what it feels like to rely on others to do the work. And enjoy how good it feels to watch them blossom with the added confidence you’ve shown in them.

3. Acknowledge You Can’t Control Everything

Give yourself a break and learn to go with the flow now and again. Once you see everything works out just fine without your intervention, you’ll get more comfortable with the idea.

4. Completely Give Up Control In One Small Area Of Your Life

Make a conscious decision to completely give up control in one small area of your life. Maybe you’ll let others decide what’s for dinner. Maybe you’ll go on vacation without planning a single excursion. Maybe you’ll just take a walk without knowing where you’re going. Whatever you choose, let the circumstances and people around you take the lead. Bite your tongue, sit back and relax. You’re a passenger. Enjoy the view.
Now, it’s worth mentioning control isn’t always a horrible thing. It’s wonderful to take control at times, show off your leadership abilities and your decisive point-of-view. But there’s a point where it goes too far. Put yourself in check regularly.

Read More

7 Ways Your Resume Is Boring Just Like Everyone Else’s

culled from:careerealism.com

1. It’s Still Sporting That Outdated Objective

If your resume is utilizing an objective, you really should trash it and start all over with a fresh, powerful introduction that incorporates a personal branding statement. A tailored career summary and polished personal branding statement will catch the employer’s attention and give him or her the best information up front—the information he or she needs to make a decision to call you to schedule an interview.

2. The Design/Format Is Generic

There is a strategy behind resume formatting and design. If you are an executive, yet you are using an entry-level resume format, you will look unprofessional and under-qualified.

3. It’s Missing Important Keywords

Omit keywords and the software system scanning your resume can’t find you. The recruiter giving your resume a quick once-over is looking for specific keywords as well. Leave them out and you’ll be left out of the interview process.

4. It Has Generic And/Or Vague Statements

Avoid using the same old terminology that everyone else uses in their resumes. Yes, we know you can problem solve. But instead of telling me you’re a problem solver, show me the result of a problem you solved.

5. It Doesn’t Focus On Hard Skills

And the championship goes to… hard skills. I used to be a full-time recruiter, and I used Monster and CareerBuilder to search for candidates. Not once did I enter the search terms: great communicator, excellent verbal skills, detail-oriented. These are universal statements millions use to describe themselves. Give me something tangible and relevant to the position I am trying to fill.

6. It Tells Vs. Shows

Instead of wasting valuable real estate on your resume providing me with a rundown of your job description (the same one I’ve read a million times as a hiring manager), show me what you achieved, what you accomplished, and what you contributed in the past.
WOW me with something other than the predictable, mundane job description. I want to know the challenges you faced in your previous roles, how you addressed them, and the results you obtained. This makes you different from everyone else. No two people will have the exact same experiences. Your experiences are what make you outshine your competition—USE THEM TO YOUR ADVANTAGE.

7. It’s Passive

Using terminology that is passive is boring and lacks action. Instead of using phrases like “served as,” “duties included,” “promoted to,” “worked with”…choose strong action verbs. Action verbs do just what they say: they convey action and, ultimately, results.
The hiring manager is interested in results you can provide about what you did along the way. Choose terms like: Launched, Catapulted, Spearheaded, and Pioneered. These terms tell me something. They show me the action you took and captivate my attention so that I want to read on to discover the results you achieved.

Read More

How to Be Honourable

culled from:wikihow.com

Part 1 of 2: Developing a Sense of Honor

1. 
   1
   Be the person you say you are. It’s easy to be a pleasant person, walking around with a ready smile and a “hello” for everyone you see. But being honourable isn’t the same thing as being friendly. When it comes to honor, it’s more important to be authentic. Show the world who you really are, even if it come at the expense of your reputation for being “nice.” To be honourable, you’ve got to be trustworthy.

   • If you hide your real thoughts and feelings behind a masked expression, try taking off the mask and see what happens. Maybe people will be put off at first, but after awhile they’ll come to trust you more, since you’re revealing more of yourself to them.
   • This isn’t to say you should go around being surly, but try to be more expressive of how you really feel instead of sugarcoating everything to make social interactions easier or to try to get people to like you.

    

   Part 2 of 2: Behaving Honorably

   1. 
      1
      Work for what you want. Do you want a new car? A boyfriend? Some new clothes? You deserve all of these things, but don’t use shortcuts to get them. It’s so much easier to take the easy way out, but this usually requires hurting someone else, and if you do it often enough it’ll backfire. If you want something, work for it. It’s the honourable thing to do.

      • Don’t steal or try to rip people off instead of paying what you owe.
      • Don’t shamelessly flirt with someone else’s tipsy girlfriend instead of forming an actual relationship with someone who’s available.
      • Don’t keep borrowing money from your friends and family instead of getting a job.
      • Don’t take credit for someone else’s idea instead of coming up with your own.
   2. 
      2
      Speak the truth. Honesty and honor go hand in hand. Work on always telling the truth, whether it’s about your own intentions or an outside situation. It will certainly make you uncomfortable at times, and you might be subject to other people’s anger or hurt feelings. But ultimately, people will appreciate that you’re someone who tells it like it is instead of sugarcoating.

      • If there’s a situation in which you don’t feel comfortable telling the truth, just don’t say anything. It’s better than lying.
      • When it comes to the tiny lies we tell to spare feelings, you make the call. Just know that if you lie often enough, even in this small way (“No, that dress looks great!” or “Yes, I really liked your speech!”) people will stop trusting your opinion and begin to assume you’re just being nice.
   3. 
      3
      Defend what you believe in. Developing your values is one thing, but standing up for them is quite another. It’s easy to argue with something in your head, but honourable people speak up and step in. Defending your values can mean any number of things, and it doesn’t always need to involve a big show. In little ways, you can behave honorably and set an example for other people.

      • For example, if everyone at work makes fun of a certain person when he’s not around, you could make it clear you don’t think it’s right. Sometimes just saying “I disagree” or even changing the subject every time it comes up is a way to make your opinion known.
      • Sometimes you’ll be faced with a bigger problem, and you’ll have to choose between standing up for what you think is right and keeping your job, or staying friends with someone, or upholding your reputation as a sweet and genial person. That’s when true honor kicks in, and hopefully all those times you were honourable in little ways will prepare you for the big decisions.
   4. 
      4
      Come to people’s aid. If you were to draw a cartoon of an honourable person, it might look like a guy giving up his seat on the bus for an elderly person while helping a child carry his luggage and offering to front fare for someone who forgot change. These cliches all demonstrate ways to be honourable, and they’re all situations that could happen in real life and provide easy opportunities to be a little honourable. However, true honor is demonstrated when you’re called upon to do something you really don’t want to do, and you do it anyway.

      • For example, maybe your brother and his two dogs need a place to crash for three weeks after losing their house. Things will be pretty cramped, but he’s your brother, so you do it.
      • Or maybe you’re in the car on the way to airport to catch a flight to Venice for your honeymoon, and you witness a car run off the road and hit the guardrail. Even though it means you’re going to miss your flight, you stop and offer your assistance.
   5. 
      5
      Never manipulate people. Part of being honourable is acknowledging the effect your words and actions have on other people. You have the ability to help, and you have the ability to hurt. Don’t mess with people’s emotions as a way to get what you want. It’s easy to do this without even realizing it, so try to be more mindful of the impact you’re having.^[1]

      • Don’t take advantage of weakness, like using someone’s illness to gain an edge on them.
      • Don’t be controlling of those around you. Let them make their own decisions.
      • Don’t guilt trip people into doing what you want.
      • Don’t lead people on by making them think you’re more emotionally involved than you really feel.

    

Read More

Dating tips for mature singles

culled from:pulse.ng

Sex and the City's iconic star, Sarah Jessica Parker turned 50 recently, and although the series has been wrapped up over a decade ago, it is still very much a part of our popular imagination.

It showed the way people in their 30s, 40s and 50s how to date, have more (and better) sex and also find love. However, the show was ultimately fantasy, having a fun and active dating life as a mature single isn't out fo reach.

In honour of Parker and all of you out there who are single and still looking for love, here are some dating tips from love experts as written by Simone Piget:

• Make finding love a priority: According to midlife dating coach, speaker and author April Braswell, if you want to find love, you need to make it a priority. "Of course, don't neglect your career and family, but really your kids would probably really appreciate it if you dated...when it’s your custody weekend, hire a babysitter and attend that singles mixer for three hours. It’s ok for you to be out for a few hours," says Braswell. "Your kids need to see your example for how to treat dating and finding your life’s mate," she says.
• Make sure you’re ready to date: One of Canada's leading matchmakers, Jane Carsten, who is based in Vancouver, it’s all about taking baby steps. "The biggest mistake people make is they jump back into dating when they haven’t got their stuff in order." In other words, just because you can date, doesn’t mean you should. The Midlife Dating Coach, Ronnie Joy, is a life coach who helps midlife singles find love. As she explains, it’s important that you let go of past frustrations and failures so you can feel good about who you are now. "If necessary, work on your emotions with a professional until you are truly ready to open up to a new relationship," she says.
• Feel good about yourself: You don’t have to take a page from Parker’s fictional alter ego, Carrie Bradshaw, and squander your savings on $700 shoes, however looking your best often equates with feeling your best. As Joy explains, "If you’re not happy with how you look, make some changes. Update your hairstyle or buy new clothes that are flattering and make you feel confident."
• Don't be afraid to mix it up: Although online dating is great, Joy is of the opinion that you shouldn’t be afraid to connect with other singles 'in the wild.' Braswell seconds this, and encourages singles to get out there and enjoy life. "Vary the activities, events, sites and hosts of the items you schedule into your weekly agenda. While midlife couples met through one particular venue or activity, it’s because they were engaged in multiple endeavors that they found each other and were ready for love."
• Dump the old rules: As Carsten points out, if you’re back on the dating scene after a long break, you need to open yourself to completely new possibilities. "To score at true love, you’ve got to have a different action plan," says Carsten. Some of the best advice she has for singles: "Take baby steps. Trust your intuition and your heart. Give love a chance."
• Stay positive and leave the past where it belongs - the past: As Joy points out, when it comes to creating an online dating profile, it’s important that you stay present. Use current photos and check negativity at the door. "Never reference your horrendous divorce or disappointments with first dates. Focus on your current interests, passions and uniqueness," says Joy.
• Meet new people daily: As Braswell points out, most professionals over 40 are at the busiest time of their careers. However it’s important you make time to meet new people, even if it’s just 15 minutes per day. "Get your morning coffee break beverage at the local coffee bar. Practice breaking the ice and flirting comfortably so they become part of your normal daily behaviour. Then when you meet someone who curls your toes, you’re ready!" says Braswell.

Read More

6 ways to stop drinking soda completely

culled from:pulse.ng

While soda is very hard to resist, the more soda you consume (regular or diet), the more hazardous your habit can become, and whether you're a regular drinker or an occasional soft-drink sipper, cutting back can likely have benefits for your weight and your overall health.

The biggest risk for regular soda drinkers is the excess calories, says Lona Sandon, RD, assistant professor of clinical nutrition at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center. "The calories in regular soda are coming entirely from added sugar, and you're not getting any value in terms of vitamins or minerals, or even good quality carbohydrates," she says.

Studies have shown that its consumption is linked with tooth decay and diabetes, and it also seems to be bad for your bones.

"It may have something to do with the phosphorus in soda, or it could be that people are drinking soda instead of other beverages -- like milk -- that have nutrients necessary for healthy bones," Sandon says.

Sugar-free sodas may not have any calories, but that doesn't mean they're any good for you, in fact, they may not even help you lose weight.

Plus, diet drinks have many of the same health risks as regular soft drinks, including tooth decay and bone thinning, and they've also been linked to heart disease and depression in women.

Switching to diet sodas may be a smart first step if you're trying to eliminate excess calories, says Sandon, but your best bet is to eventually give them up, too.

Here's how to make the transition easier.

1. Wean yourself off slowly- That news may be enough to convince you that you should stop drinking soda, but it could still be easier said than done. "People really can become addicted to soda, so you have to be a realist and not an idealist," says nutritionist Stefanie Sacks, author of the forthcoming book What the Fork Are You Eating?. "I don't recommend going cold turkey; you need to wean yourself off, just like you would anything you've become dependent on." If you typically drink multiple servings of soda a day, Sacks suggests first cutting back to one a day. Give that two weeks, then switch to three sodas a week. "It gives you a chance to adjust gradually, which should lead to real, sustainable change," says Sacks.
2. Mix it with water- Sandon also recommends weaning yourself slowly off soda, and sometimes suggests that her clients start drinking half-soda, half-water. "You're automatically drinking less and hydrating and filling up with water, which is a good thing," she says. But there's an added advantage, as well: "It cuts back on the sweetness you get from soda, which is one of the things people get really used to. If you're drinking less sugar, your taste buds will change and soon you won't need that sweetness anymore."
3. Drink a glass of water first-
   
   Whenever the urge to drink a soda hits, fill up a big glass of ice water and finish that first. "A lot of times, people drink soda just because they're bored, or they're thirsty, and that's what's available or that's what they're used to," says Sacks. If you're still craving a soda after you've downed your H2O, then you can reconsider whether it's really worth it -- but chances are your thirst will be quenched and you'll feel satisfied from just the water. (You can make this work while you're out and about, too, by always carrying a bottle of water with you.)
4. Steer clear of soda triggers- You may notice that you only drink soda in certain places or situations: In the afternoon at the office, for example, or when you eat at a certain restaurant. You may not be able to completely avoid these scenarios -- you've still got to go to work and should still enjoy eating out -- but you may be able to change those bad habits.
5. Try it for two weeks- Weaning yourself off something gradually works best for most people, says Sacks, but some may want to try the cold turkey approach. If you plan to go that route, think of it as a temporary change: Giving soda up for two weeks or a month may be easier and more manageable than ditching it forever. The best part about this trick? Once your time is up, you may not even want to go back to soda -- at least not at the frequency you drank it before. "We acquire a taste for sugar depending on how much we have on a daily basis," says Sandon. "If you cut out soda for a while, you may be surprised at how sweet it tastes ones you go back." (Want extra help with the cold-turkey method? Enlist friends to take the challenge with you.)
6. Save it for special occasions- Once you're able to break your regular soda habit and the drink loses its grip on you, it can be treated just like any other junk food: If you really love the taste, there's nothing wrong with an occasional indulgence, says Sacks. "If it's your gotta-have-it food, then by all means splurge on a soda now and then," she says. In fact, knowing that you can have a soda on your cheat day or during a special night out may help you resist them on a more regular basis. "Just do it from a place of education: If you understand that soda is essentially just sugar and artificial flavorings, then you can be more smart about when or if you're going to drink it."

Read More

6 relationship myths that are totally false

culled from:pulse.ng

There are different relationship tips we've heard over and over again, and some have even become cliche, but people still believe them.

But the truth is, many of these tips are totally false, and made up by people who think they know what is what.

Read six popular relationship myths you need to stop believing:

1. Marriage means happily ever after — no fighting allowed: Although fighting is not good for any marriage, being able to work through disagreements and resolve them is very good for a marriage, says Tina B. Tessina, PhD, (aka 'Dr. Romance'), psychotherapist. Avoid screaming matches and name calling. Instead, take a moment to calm down so that you can approach the issue in a rational way, she advises.
2. A baby will make your marriage stronger: False, say the experts. In fact, a study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that having kids often leads to a sharp drop in marital bliss —especially if you have kids quickly after you've said 'I do'. (Though the study authors say that even if you're not-so-thrilled with your spouse right after the baby arrives, your overall familial bliss could make up for some of that.)
3. The couple that plays together, stays together: Do you think you both need to love reality TV and football to have a solid marriage? Think again. Sharing some interests is great, but you should have some on-your-own activities to keep your life fresh and interesting. "Couples who do everything together make me nervous because they veer toward the codependent end of the relationship spectrum," says Dr. Seth Meyers, a licensed clinical psychologist.
4. Never go to bed angry: It’s a nice idea in theory, but let’s face it —continuing an argument into the wee hours isn’t necessarily the best idea. "People tend to fight at night when they’re really tired," says happiness expert Gretchen Rubin, author of Happier at Home. "Instead of continuing to fight, suggest that you have a good night’s sleep and then talk about it." The disagreement may seem a whole lot sillier once you’ve both had a chance to cool off.
5. You need to have a set date night: A date night is a great if it works for you, but it doesn't exactly work for everyone, Rubin says. "We’re just so happy to stay home, and we found that even a monthly adventure would be a hassle. We just want to put on our sweatpants and relax." And if you’d rather chill on the couch than make plans for dinner and a movie, you’re not putting your marriage at risk.
6. Half of all marriages end in divorce: So not true. If you feel like you're fighting against the odds to keep your marriage intact, you might be able to breathe a little easier. Research has shown that the divorce rate is smaller than that—it maxed out at 41 percent back in the 1980s, and it’s currently on the decline. And if you’re a pair of college grads, you have a far greater chance of making it to that golden anniversary — your odds of divorcing may be more like 25 percent.

Read More

Work Life Balance Tips for Career Women: Stay Happy and Productive

culled from:http://youqueen.com


It’s hard to be in control of your life when you feel like you’re stuck on a pick board with the options being: work success, family, and friends, and you can only pick two of those options. There’s a happy medium we can all find by keeping ourselves in check and remembering to balance between the three to the best of our abilities.
This list contains some work life balance tips to ensure you never lean too far to one side and compromise to keep everything in check.

Whether it’s keeping in touch with friends while maintaining a family or keeping a partnership alive with a stressful job, everyone has felt torn in multiple directions. The trick is to decide what direction you allow yourself to be pulled in and keep yourself from being stretched so thin you lose sight of what’s important.
There’s no exact formula for how to live a happy life once you’ve already reached career success and finding the love of your life. The storybooks would lead us to believe that that’s the end of it; you’ve reached it, congratulations. We know, however, that that isn’t the full truth.
You still have to maintain friendships, keep the romance alive, nurture a family of your own, if you have one, all while continuing to keep the success you’ve worked so hard to achieve. There’s no easy answer here for those who have all they’ve ever wanted but can’t figure out how to keep what they need.
We can’t write a fail-safe guide to balance your life, but we can share tips on how to keep appreciating your life no matter what it throws at you and allow yourself to grow along the way.
Here’s the list we’ve compiled, which contains tips to keep your personal life and work life separate, but coexisting peacefully.

When you’re away from work, really stay away

This one is huge! How many people do we know that even on vacation are constantly taking business calls and scheduling meetings, huddled in their hotel room in the dark corner, waiting for Wi-Fi?
It’s understandable for sure; everyone has busy lives and careers that don’t wait just because we happen to be in San Francisco. But the point of a vacation, and more importantly, family time, is to truly be with those people.
It’s hard to separate yourself from the grind and hustle when it means money in your pocket and paying for that nice vacation you’re on. Be that as it may, there is no point in taking a vacation or a family picnic if the entire time you’re going to be worried about what you’re currently missing out on workwise right that second.
It may seem silly to you sometimes, especially when family time is at a lull, and it’s the perfect time to answer your bosses email about conferences tomorrow.

However, if you don’t set in place strict policies and “work free” zones for yourself, you’ll drive yourself crazy, and more importantly, your loved ones away. While your newest client story is impressive, save it to tell your husband in bed when talking about your day, and keep table talk at dinner about things everyone can relate to and wants to hear about.
It’s difficult, especially for an ambitious woman in a high stress career field. Sometimes it feels like work is the only thing to talk about, and neglecting it takes out a huge portion of our day. This is true to an extent, and there’s a time and a place for every detail of your ambitious career, but sometimes it needs to take a backseat in order to fully enjoy the day.
That being said, always make time to ask your partner each day about their day at work and at home, this can be an intimate moment for you two, and a great way to compartmentalize what’s happened. Nobody knows your coworker drama like your partner, and they’ll be right up to speed with what kind of not-so-passive response you should leave for a coworker who seems to be working entirely against you.
Make sure to let your lover in on the workings of your day, but not spend the whole time complaining, they’ll want to give you solutions and you should listen to them, they know you better than anyone.

Remember, you aren’t the only stressed person alive

This is harder than it sounds when your deadlines are piling up, your meeting is set to go before you can get there, and your coworkers seem like they’re conspiring to watch you fail. It’s easy to think “I am the most stressed person in this house, this neighborhood, even this city.” But remember, you’re not.
No matter what you are experiencing, don’t let it make you self-centered and swallowed by your own stress.
Even if your friends and significant other don’t seem like they’re as stressed or have as much things on their plate, in a way they do. Your stress is their stress, so remember this when you’re wallowing alone in deadlines. In one way or another, every person you pass on the street is fighting his or her own version of the same stress you are feeling right now in different facets.

When you’re so stressed you feel like you can’t function, focus that attention into asking someone else how they are, whether that be texting an old friend or talking with your partner. Stress can be used to remind us to check up on other people; don’t let it make you self-absorbed just because you are having a tight schedule.
If stress reminds you to check up on the relationships you have instead of being absorbed by it, it can be a positive thing that improves relationships instead of tearing them apart.

Be upfront about what you want from people

When you’re having a really horrible day, sometimes you just want to unload your to-do list onto someone who is ready to hear it and by the end say “Yeah, that’s a lot. Looks like you have a lot on your plate today” and nothing more. Or maybe you’re the type who would rather hear “I’m sorry that’s happening to you, is there anything I can do to make your day less stressful.”
Whichever type of person you are, tell your significant other or best friend which you prefer, or if you need something else entirely. They aren’t mind readers anymore than you know what they need to hear at every moment. Communication can zap work stress right in its tracks and make all your relationships stronger.
It’s awkward sometimes to find the way to tell someone how you want them to respond to you, but it’s worth it in the end, because if they know how to handle you when you’re overwhelmed, you’ll know how to handle them.

Schedule one enjoyable thing for every day

This one is key to having a successful work life that you will enjoy. Not everyone can have a career that makes them feel alive, but everyone can make each day of the life they’ve chosen count. Plan one exciting thing for your day, whether it’s something small like getting a cup of fancy coffee from that local barista who always mixes the foam just right, to going on a run.
Find out whether your chosen activity needs to be done with someone else or alone. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to have the most exciting part of your day alone or with another person, it’s all up to you and what makes you happiest.
If you are the type that needs a scheduled section of “me-time”, don’t hold back from telling your partner or friends politely that in order for it to count for you as rejuvenation, it has to be done alone. Someone who is offended by that is either someone who you haven’t communicated this to clearly or doesn’t have your best interests at heart.
If getting a weekly manicure makes you feel stable and reinvigorated, pencil that right in, because some rituals are worth a little extra cash in exchange for inner peace.

If you live a high paced work life make sure your health doesn’t suffer

If you’re the type that seems to have endless energy for every task in the office, but when you get home you’re too tired to open anything but a microwave meal, you’re selling yourself short.
It’s understandably difficult to find time to make healthy food, get to the gym, get to the local farmer’s market or library. By not thinking of these things as chores you don’t have time to do, but necessary acts to keep up with your lifestyle, it becomes easier.
As a career woman you have more duties than many people could ever comprehend, and while it’s impressive, it doesn’t give you a pass. You can’t expect a race car to run perfect races on low-grade cheap fuel without an occasional oil change.
Realize that you need as much upkeep as your career position, and make time to fit that in. It’s not a choice or hobby whether you lead a healthy life amongst your busy schedule, it’s a necessity. Anything else sells you short and goes against what you stand for. And remember, you’ve come a long way to be where you are, so you stand for a lot.

Release your stress in a healthy way

If going to the gym isn’t something you can see yourself doing, while you’ll have to make other food sacrifices to keep your figure fit, you still need a way to release energy. Whether you store up mental energy that needs an outlet or physical steam doesn’t matter. Do something that actively invigorates you and gets you outside.
Leaving the house and the office to do whatever it is that fuels your fire is important. You need a neutral place where you can be free to push career plans to the side for a second. Nothing should be tied to this place, other than a positive activity that releases stress. I’m not talking a casino or a brewery.
Whether it’s your favorite restaurant you go every week to or reading a book on your Kindle in the same grassy spot every Sunday or even going to some sort of church.
Whatever it is, there are so many options for neutral places you can go, which aren’t the office, home or the gym.

And if exercising is something you can stomach doing, power to you. Kill two birds with one stone and improve your health while releasing stress at the same time. Whether it’s lifting weights or going to a weekly karaoke night doesn’t matter. So long as you are doing something not only for your enjoyment like the previous tip, but as an outlet for releasing stress.
This should be a different plan than the one enjoyable thing per day, because while the enjoyable thing was something you watch, let happen or experience… the stress reliever is something you actively pursue. Besides, we already know you’re a go-getter, so make sure you can continue to strive at your workplace to the best of your ability by being fit and ready.
Let us know what you think about our tips on keeping a balanced life amidst a hefty career. Share this if you find yourself struggling to find life balance or if anyone you know could use the encouragement.
You’ve sacrificed a lot to get to where you are today; don’t let today’s achievement set you back in other aspects of your life. Your success doesn’t have to mean a more stressful life; in fact, it can mean just the opposite.

Read More

Security bug found in fitness wristband

culled from:pulse.ng

Kaspersky Lab researcher, Roman Unuchek, has examined how a number of fitness wristbands interact with a smartphone and discovered some surprising results.

According to Unuchek’s research findings, the authentication method implemented in several popular smart wristbands allows a third-party to connect invisibly to the device, execute commands, and – in some cases – extract data held on the device.

In the devices investigated by Unuchek, such data was limited to the amount of steps taken by the owner during the previous hour.

However, in the future, when next-generation fitness bands capable of collecting a greater volume of more varied data appear on the market, the risk of sensitive medical data about the owner leaking out could raise significantly.

The rogue connection is made possible because of the way in which the wristband is paired with a smartphone.

According to the research, an Android-based device running Android 4.3 or higher, with a special unauthorised app installed can pair with wristbands from certain vendors.

To establish a connection, users need to confirm the pairing by pressing a button on their wristband. Attackers can easily overcome this, because most modern fitness wristbands have no screen.

When the wristband vibrates asking its owner to confirm the pairing the victim has no way of knowing whether they are confirming a connection with their own device or an intruding connection.

Unuchek adds that: “Of course, there are more harmful actions that are more likely. For example, by using a Trojan-Ransom the fraudster could take control of your wristband, make it vibrate constantly and demand money to make it stop.”

“This Proof of Concept depends on a lot of conditions for it to work properly, and in the end an attacker wouldn’t be able to collect really critical data like passwords or credit card numbers. However it proves that there is a way for an attacker to exploit mistakes left unpatched by the device developers.”

Unuchek further states that: “The fitness trackers currently available are still fairly basic, capable of counting steps and following sleep cycles, but little more than that. However the second generation of such devices is almost here, and they will be able to gather much more information about users. It is important to think about the security of these devices now, and ensure that there is proper protection for how the tracker interacts with the smartphone.”

Unuchek advises that users of smart wristbands, who are concerned about the security, check with the wristband’s vendors whether such a potential attack vector would be possible on their product.

Read More