How to Know if You Are Ready to Have Sex

culled from:wikihow.com

Steps

1

Understand what "having sex" means. In Western culture, people often learn to define "sex" as penetrative vaginal sex because it relates to procreation. with the potential to give you a sexually transmitted infection (STI). However, sex is not simply a physical act, but also a significant emotional and spiritual interaction between people. The term "making love" itself tells us about the emotional and pleasurable aspects of sex.

1. 2
   Before considering sex, make sure you understand the risks and how to protect yourself from them. To be safe from the risk of pregnancy and STDs, the best protection is barrier contraception, i.e., condoms. Birth control alone will not prevent against infection.
2. 
   3
   Don't allow yourself to feel pressured about having sex. If you're considering having sex because you've been pressured by your partner or your peer group, don't do it. Remember that a person who truly cares about your well-being would not attempt to push you into it. Sex is a highly emotional experience and has the potential to affect your psychological stability permanently, affecting all of your future relationships, if it happens against your true wishes. Remember that sex is only a truly loving act if both parties are comfortable.
3. 
   4
   Know that you don't need to have sex in order to have a physical relationship with someone. There are a lot of potential steps between holding hands and having sex. If it feels like the relationship is progressing too quickly, try to slow it down with other intimate acts that don't require sex: kissing, petting, hugging. Be affectionate in a way that makes both of you feel more comfortable with one another.
4. 
   5
   Ask yourself if having sex will violate any of your beliefs. Some religions and cultures strongly emphasize chastity and remaining a virgin until marriage. If beliefs like this are the norm in your family or where you live, tread carefully. Ask yourself if you're willing to risk social rejection from people who find out about the act after it's happened. If you're not sure it's worth it, hold off.
5. 
   6
   Consider your relationship with your partner. Remember that a lot of first-time sexual experiences can be painful or awkward, and ask yourself if your relationship is stable enough to withstand that kind of stress. Here are a few other questions to think about:
   • Do you trust your partner? You should feel confident that your partner is a basically good person who wouldn't do anything to hurt or humiliate you. This can be hard to gauge, but here's a metric to try: If you wouldn't trust him or her with any of your private thoughts or secrets, then you probably shouldn't be sleeping together.
   • Is your relationship mature enough to include sex? If the majority of your interactions with your partner focus on superficial things, then incorporating sex might be a bad idea. If, on the other hand, you feel like you and your partner help each other grow and improve as people, then you might consider moving on to having sex.
   • Can you discuss sex with your partner? Think about whether or not you'll be able to talk about things such as contraception, STIs, basic anatomy and other sex-related topics with your partner. If you can't comfortably have this discussion with him or her before you have sex, then reconsider whether its the right choice.
   • Would you be violating your partner's beliefs? Just as Step 1 encourages you to consider the prevailing ideologies about sex in your community, think about what your partner believes. If he or she might be subject to shunning or punishment for having sex with you, it might be best to hold off.
   • Will you be embarrassed later about sleeping with this person? This might sound silly, but try to think ahead a few years. If you were no longer dating this person, would you be embarrassed to describe him or her to your future partner? If the answer is "yes" or "maybe," consider holding out for something better.
6. 
   7
   Consider whether you're emotionally ready. Having sex can cause people to release Oxytocin, a hormone that promotes a sense of trust and happiness - meaning that having sex will be a bonding experience for you whether or not you want to be more emotionally involved. If you don't feel ready to have your feelings for your partner be more vulnerable, wait.
7. 
   8
   Be aware of what consent means. You should know that both you and your partner are allowed to say no and withdraw consent at ANY time. Respect your partner's feelings, and expect him or her to respect yours.
8. 9
   Remember that a relationship is not all about sex. Sex is a natural occurrence between two individuals. However, a relationship is about compassion, honesty, loyalty, and, above all, love. That is what you should focus on. Do not focus on having sex.