Wednesday, 18 March 2015


Broken-Marriage


culled from:pulse.ng


Challenges are inevitable in every marriage relationship. Your ability to manage their affairs in a matured and discrete manner will help you grow in love together.
This brings to fore the need to effective and truthful communication. The major problem in every marriage is communication. All others just flow in behind. Solve the communication problem and every other thing will fall in place. These are some major problems that arise in marriages.
1. You carry baggages from you past relationships: It is wrong coming into a relationship thinking your partner will make you happy, you get disappointed when reality hits you, and then you want to opt out. You have to get rid of all your emotional baggages before you get married, or else you will feel frustrated and unhappy, and try to blame it on your spouse. You owe yourself the responsibility to make yourself happy.
2. You do not prepare for marriage: Most people get carried away with the WEDDING ceremony, forgetting that the wedding is just for one day while the marriage will last a life time. They get engrossed with arranging for the food,drinks etc and do not make time out to discuss pertinent issues with their would be spouse or even plan ahead regarding some hurdles that may arise in marriage.
3. Lack of trust: Trust is an essential ingredient in every marriage. You do not assume trust. It is earned. You have to earn the trust of your spouse. You earn your partner’s trust when you do not cut corners, keep to your words and say the truth always 
4. When kids come first: The kids are the product of the marriage and not the centre of the marriage. Your spouse should be the center of your marriage. Should you then abandon the kids? No! Do not spend all your time on the kids then when your spouse gets home, you are so drained you cannot give quality time. It kills communication and builds resentment.
5. You talk about your personal challenges with someone else: This is an open opportunity for an extra marital relationship because you feel your spouse does not understand you well, you rather talk to the other person. The more you do that, you are creating a communication gap between you and your spouse and building false connection with the other. It is dangerous and might lead to marriage break down.
6. You are very perfect: You always think the one to change is your spouse. You always see their flaws and tear them down with your words. Negative words hurt. Especially when spoken by a loved one. You drive your spouse away from you, when you talk him or her down. You also have flaws. Sit down and check if you are the one who needs to change.
7. You don't respect your spouse: You don't respect your spouse's judgment. You constantly question their decisions and abilities. Well you might say he/she has made wrong decisions in the past. You have also made wrong decisions too. Marriage is the coming together of two imperfect people bound together by love and discipline.
8. Unforgiveness: When you do not forgive wrongs done to you, you build resentment. You become a time bomb waiting to blow up at any little touch. Hurting people hurt others and are easily hurt by them. If you hurt your spouse, endeavour to ask for forgiveness.Do not bear grudges. Even if they apologise or not, let it go. You build room for healthy communication and also stay healthy.
9. Wrong marriage advice: Be wary of where and who you get advice from. Some people give advice from their hurtful experience, while others give advice from an un-informed point of view. It is dangerous for a married person to take advice from a single man or woman. They know nothing about marriage. Even if someone is married, are they putting to practice what they are asking you to do?
10. Comparison:Never ever compare your marriage with another couple. It is wrong. Very very wrong. It destroys the bond between couples. Your basis for comparison is sometimes shallow, because you really do not know their own experience.

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