culled from:pulse.ng
Challenges are inevitable in every
marriage relationship. Your ability to manage their affairs in a matured
and discrete manner will help you grow in love together.
This
brings to fore the need to effective and truthful communication. The
major problem in every marriage is communication. All others just flow
in behind. Solve the communication problem and every other thing will
fall in place. These are some major problems that arise in marriages.
1. You carry baggages from you past relationships:
It is wrong coming into a relationship thinking your partner will make
you happy, you get disappointed when reality hits you, and then you want
to opt out. You have to get rid of all your emotional baggages before
you get married, or else you will feel frustrated and unhappy, and try
to blame it on your spouse. You owe yourself the responsibility to make
yourself happy.
2. You do not prepare for marriage: Most people get carried away with the WEDDING ceremony,
forgetting that the wedding is just for one day while the marriage will
last a life time. They get engrossed with arranging for the food,drinks
etc and do not make time out to discuss pertinent issues with their
would be spouse or even plan ahead regarding some hurdles that may arise
in marriage.
3. Lack of trust: Trust is an essential ingredient in every marriage. You do not assume trust. It is earned.
You have to earn the trust of your spouse. You earn your partner’s
trust when you do not cut corners, keep to your words and say the truth
always
4. When kids come first:
The kids are the product of the marriage and not the centre of the
marriage. Your spouse should be the center of your marriage. Should you then abandon the kids? No! Do
not spend all your time on the kids then when your spouse gets home,
you are so drained you cannot give quality time. It kills communication
and builds resentment.
5. You talk about your personal challenges with someone else:
This is an open opportunity for an extra marital relationship because
you feel your spouse does not understand you well, you rather talk to
the other person. The more you do that, you are creating a communication
gap between you and your spouse and building false connection with the
other. It is dangerous and might lead to marriage break down.
6. You are very perfect: You
always think the one to change is your spouse. You always see their
flaws and tear them down with your words. Negative words hurt.
Especially when spoken by a loved one. You drive your spouse away from
you, when you talk him or her down. You also have flaws. Sit down and
check if you are the one who needs to change.
7. You don't respect your spouse: You
don't respect your spouse's judgment. You constantly question their
decisions and abilities. Well you might say he/she has made wrong
decisions in the past. You have also made wrong decisions too. Marriage
is the coming together of two imperfect people bound together by love
and discipline.
8. Unforgiveness: When
you do not forgive wrongs done to you, you build resentment. You become
a time bomb waiting to blow up at any little touch. Hurting people hurt
others and are easily hurt by them. If you hurt your spouse, endeavour
to ask for forgiveness.Do not bear grudges. Even if they apologise or
not, let it go. You build room for healthy communication and also stay
healthy.
9. Wrong marriage advice:
Be wary of where and who you get advice from. Some people give advice
from their hurtful experience, while others give advice from an
un-informed point of view. It is dangerous for a married person to take
advice from a single man or woman. They know nothing about marriage.
Even if someone is married, are they putting to practice what they are
asking you to do?
10. Comparison:Never
ever compare your marriage with another couple. It is wrong. Very very
wrong. It destroys the bond between couples. Your basis for comparison
is sometimes shallow, because you really do not know their own
experience.
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