Ask the most
successful people
you know how they got where they are and they'll likely mention at
least one mentor who helped them along the way. Whether you're on the
giving or receiving end of an
investment
of time, energy and advice, it's important to see mentoring for what it
is: A priceless gift. That's according to Steve Pogorzelski, CEO of
Avention,
a Concord, Massachusetts-based sales enablement and business
information solutions provider. Whether you want to be a good mentor or
find one who will help you get to the next level, here's what he says
you need to know about the best mentoring relationships.
Praise is not necessarily part of the deal.
Many
people say they want a mentor, when really they just want attention and
strokes, not necessarily the kind of constructive feedback that results
in personal and professional growth. "If you look at, for example, the
greatest athletes, entrepreneurs, investors, they all eagerly accepted
coaching or had great mentors," Pogorzelski says. "To me, those types of
people, their curiosity and their self-awareness and their desire to be
better drove them to seek people who could help them do that."
Silence breeds failure.
Good
mentors help people grow through frank conversations that may be
difficult to have. Mentoring managers, for example, give constructive
feedback continually so that no employee should be surprised when it's
performance appraisal time. "There's typically a large number of people
who are surprised by their appraisals. And to me that's a sign of a weak
or poor
manager," he says.
The person being coached needs to able to withstand candid feedback.
Pogorzelski
says people come into his office and want advice or feedback. "And I'll
say, 'I'm going to hurt you. If you really want it, you're gonna get
hurt right now. I'm only doing it because it's in your best interest,
but you have to be ready to take it,'" he says.
Active listening and empathy build relationship.
And
relationship is what keeps a mentor-mentee relationship working. Once
it becomes obligatory, the benefit to both individuals quickly
dissipates. "Relationships diminish over time because it's a
check-the-box corporate exercise," he says.
Your mentor should be someone you admire and want to emulate.
Aligning
yourself with someone because of his or her title or for political gain
is the worst idea, Pogorzelski says. Don't have a wise person you
admire in your life? Start hanging out at industry or incubator events
and widen your pool of associations. "I would go to any type of venture
capital gathering I could," he says. "And I would use the heck out of
LinkedIn and try to garner as many introductions as I could."
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