Tuesday 17 March 2015

Woman looking at flowers



culled from:pulse.ng


Sometimes, being single for so long may make you think that there's something wrong with you or that you're unloveable.
Both of these may be untrue, but it could also be that you're doing something wrong, or you're stuck in your comfort zone.
If you want to get out there and meet someone so you can start dating again, then you need to check out these 8 ways to improve your love life:
  1. Focus on first impressions: First dates can be overwhelming, so streamline your focus into making the first few moments count. It takes only 12 minutes for you to decide if you are interested in the other person. To make a stellar first impression, make eye contact, smile, and focus on what he/she saying. And don't forget to check in with your self, too. You might be so focused on making a flawless first impression that you forget to ask yourself if you're even into the person.
  2. Avoid over-sharing: Verbal diarrhoea happens. It happens more frequently when you are superexcited. But one way to kill a first date is to admit how long you spent stalking him on social networking sites, or accidentally tell him that he reminds you of your 'ex'. Oops! Have a censor in your brain, and learn to filter your thoughts, if you'd like to avoid these awkward boo-boos on a first date.
  3. Listen how you speak: Making eye contact aside, listen to how you speak to each other. It is more than just what you are saying -it is how you say it. One study showed that when men talk to a woman they find attractive, they tend to vary their vocal pitch from high to low tones (almost in a sing-song fashion).
  4. Let your friends play cupid: No one knows you quite like your besties do, so let them set you up with someone that they can vouch for. It is better for single people to meet through friends because there is familiarity and comfort that goes with that. A friend setting you up means the guy/girl is vetted. Let them play cupid, but make it clear that the way the date pans out is not a reflection on your friend, or you, or the person that you meet. Sometimes, chemistry is evident, and sometimes it isn't. And while getting your friends' opinions on the new date is essential, know that if you ask too soon, it could colour your own feelings about the potential match.
  5. Don't play it cool: We have all heard that guys love the chase, but according to research, that's not true. In reality, men are more attracted to responsive women, and those who are kind and warm straight from the beginning. That doesn't mean being over-thetop eager and ever-ready-to-please, but it is fine to respond to that text in a timely manner, or tell him how much fun you are having. Being kind is definitely a turn on, so forget what you've been told about pretending to be evasive.
  6. Not into him, move on: Dating someone you aren't into is a total waste of time, energy and mind space. Be realistic with yourself: Are you embarrassed to call him your boyfriend? Has he met your friends? Would you rather be watching a television romcom than making small talk with him? Are you only with him for fear of being single? If the answer to all these questions is a yes, then you need to peace out of this relationship and find a new date. And while we don't recommend you go on a dating marathon, it's often important to get out there -especially if you feel like you're stuck in a limbo. Don't give up. Your next amazing date might be right around the corner.
  7. Date your friend: How often do you think to yourself, 'he's cute, but he'd rather be a friend' and quickly zone him out? But your friends can sometimes make the best dates. We'd, in fact, go a step ahead to say, think of dating your already existing friends, or friends of friends. Someone you are already friends with is likely to have similar values, and know your background. Plus, friendship is the foundation for any relationship, so having that bond established is half the road driven. Think about it.
  8. Explore the unexplored: You never know where you are going to meet the next person you date, so if you are only looking in one spot (like that bar where you love to hangout with your buddies), then you are missing out on several potential partners. Plenty of couples have met at a market, movie hall, or even while sitting across at a library. Love can crop up anywhere, so get out there and keep your eyes, ears and heart open.

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