Thursday 12 March 2015


Part 1 of 3: Getting Yourself Noticed

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    Look good. The first thing that people tend to notice about one another is how they look. This isn't necessarily good or bad and it doesn't mean you have to dress yourself to the nines all the time. It does mean that if you want that guy to notice you, you'll have a better chance if you're emphasizing your attractiveness.
    • Healthy hair is, strangely, an important component in attraction. Thickness, shininess, and scent all play an important part in attracting a guy. Make sure that you're washing your hair a couple times a week (every day strips it of its oils, which it needs to be healthy) and that you're using conditioner.
    • Wear things that flatter and complement you. This seems like a no-brainer, but lots of people try and wear things that don't look good on them, or that they aren't comfortable in. It is true that a little cleavage (if you're a lady) will get his notice faster than not, but it's more important that you're comfortable in what you're wearing.
    • Exercise helps to keep you healthy and fit. Find an exercise routine that you love doing be it Zumba, yoga, going for a run, or dancing. Do it for at least 15 minutes every day and your body will love you!
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      Wear red. Red more than any other color attracts a guy to a girl. Something about the color signals desirability and attraction. It will garner you much more attention than any other color.[1]
      • You can do this unsubtly by wearing a bright red dress, or you can do this more subtly by wearing red lipstick, or a red scarf, or red shoes.
      • Interestingly enough red makes men more sexy, too, so this advice isn't just for a lady looking to attract a guy, but for a guy looking to attract a guy as well.[2]
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      Present yourself effectively. Dating can be a bit like looking for a job, or marketing. This means you have to figure out how to draw that guy in through how you present yourself. This does not mean that you act other than who you are. Instead it means that you show the best and the simplest sides of who you are.[3]
      • Make a list of your good qualities. If you find that you can't come up with very many (a lot of people can't, due to self-esteem issues) have a friend or family member you trust help you. As an example your list might have things like: "hilarious storyteller," "good dancer," "outgoing," "helpful."
      • Make an image out of these qualities. Pick three of the things you have on your list. This doesn't mean you sacrifice your complex individuality, but it is a shorthand way to present yourself to this guy in the beginning. If he's interested he'll start getting to know all your different sides. Using the above example you might present yourself as "an outgoing dancer who loves a good story."
      • This doesn't mean that you need to hide any part of who you are. If your favorite thing to do is dress up in Renaissance clothing and attend Ren Fairs, great! If he's into that sort of thing, too, then definitely bring it up. If you're less sure of his reaction, hold back that enjoyment until you've gotten to know one another better.
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      Practice confidence. The reason confidence is so attractive is that it shows how you feel about yourself and will clue other people in to how they should feel about you. The worse you feel about yourself, the less likely other people are going to be attracted to you no matter how attractive you are!
      • If you're having difficulty being confident, fake it until it becomes natural to you. You can actually trick yourself into becoming confident by faking out your brain. Start with small confident steps(wear heels one day, put on that bright red lipstick) and begin working your way up to things like telling that guy you like how you feel about him.
      • Avoid comparing yourself to other people, especially to other ladies (if you're a lady). You will find in life that there's always going to be someone who is more attractive, more confident, with better relationships than you. If you focus on the good things about yourself and your life, you won't care that someone else is doing better than you.
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      Ask him questions about himself. People love to talk about themselves. They love it even more if someone else seems interested in them. When you two are chatting make sure that you keep the conversation turned towards him. This means that instead of jumping in with something you want to say, you follow up what he just said with another question.
      • A good thing to remember is that the more intimate you get with one another in conversation, the stronger his attraction will likely be. Be willing to open up a little about yourself.
      • Don't let him completely hog the conversation, however. If you find that the ONLY thing he wants to talk about is himself, run away very fast. A guy like that is not going to be a good romantic partner and narcissism can be a sign of an abusive personality. Remember, your feelings and thoughts and life are important, too.
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      Be nice to his friends. Just like with girls, a guy's friends are important to him. They are also important to how he will end up feeling about you. If they don't like you, chances are they'll seek to influence their friend against you. If they do like you, they'll be on your side with the guy you like!
      • Make sure you get to know them. Ask them question about themselves and about their interests. When you see them around make sure that you ask them about the things that they told you, so it shows you're paying attention. For example: if his friends really like playing videogames, ask them if they beat that high score they were looking to beat.
      • Again, it's good to remember that if they do nothing but talk about themselves, or ignore you when you have opinions and interests, you should be looking pretty hard at the kind of guy you're interested in.

    Part 2 of 3: Flirting With Him

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      Get his adrenaline pumping. Interestingly, it seems that doing something that heightens his adrenaline actually makes him more attracted to you, especially if there was already some attraction building.
      • Excitement stimulates attraction, so if you get him excited (in a non-sexual way) you will also be more likely to heighten his attraction to you.
      • Some ideas for getting his adrenaline up and running: competitive board game/card game, playing pick-up soccer, watching a scary movie, going rock climbing, and so on.
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      Maintain eye contact. If you only do one of these steps, have it be this one. There is something about eye contact, especially prolonged eye contact, that ignites attraction and builds connection.[4]
      • Although prolonged eye contact seems like it might get a little uncomfortable after a while, don't stop. You'll blast right through uncomfortableness into connection.
      • For example: say you're chatting with your guy right before class. While you're both talking maintain eye contact with him. Not only will it show undivided attention it will give you both a little thrill.
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      Use your body language. You may not realize how much your body is saying. Using a few simple little tricks will help enliven his interest. Try to add some of these subtly to your flirting or chatting when you're with him.[5]
      • Lean forward. People who are attracted lean into one another. Lower your voice and lean over the table, or towards him in the hallway.
      • Mirror his movements. People respond best to those that are like them. So do things like take a sip of a drink when he does, or mirror the way his hands are on the table. It's the little things he won't pick up on consciously, but will heighten his subconscious reaction to you.
      • Smile. There's nothing like a smile to pique someone's interest. This works particularly well if you add it to the maintained eye contact.
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      Make him laugh. There's nothing like humor to bring two people together. Poking gentle fun at one another can be a great way to flirt, and telling a funny story can show him how fun and laid back you are.
      • While everyone's humor is different telling a funny and true story can make almost anyone laugh. Tell your guy about the time that you took the wrong bus and ended up halfway across town, or the time when your father forget your name when he tried to introduce you to his colleagues. Make sure that you don't put yourself down when you're telling the story (like calling yourself "stupid," or similar).
      • Having a verbal sparring match can heighten attraction on both sides. This means poking gentle fun at one another. For example, if you're playing cards you might poke fun at his choice of playing cards or make the funny claim that you're the best card player in the business so he can joke around with you if you lose.
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      Read his body language. As your body language is helping to entice him his body language will be telling you things on a subconscious level. This isn't an exact science, but it can be helpful to deciphering his moods and his feelings.[6]
      • A good sign is if he's leaning in to listen or talk to you, especially if he's speaking softly. This may mean that he wants his words to create an intimacy between you and doesn't want other people overhearing him.
      • A guy who touches you a lot is also someone who is likely interested. This could be something like touching you on the shoulder, or offering you his hand when you're climbing off something, putting his hand on your back to guide you through a crowd, and so on.
      • If he checks your reaction to things he does, that's a good sign of interest. This is especially true if he's done something really cool. He wants to see how you feel about what he's just done.
      • Good listening is also a definite sign of interest. If he listens when you talk, remembers the things you say, then there's a good chance he actually wants to be with you.
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      Flirt over social media. Text, internet, Skype, these are all good ways to flirt with a guy you like. Now you want to make sure that flirting over social media is second to what you're doing when you're in person, but it can be a great way to keep his interest and remind him of you.
      • Send him a text about something you saw and that made you think of him. This is especially awesome if it's a picture (especially a funny picture). For example, if you saw a really fat squirrel you might take a picture and send it to him to remind of his story about a squirrel stealing his lunch.
      • Above all, keep social media interactions short. Don't obsessively text or Facebook him all day. Send him a couple messages that show that you're thinking of him and then get on with your daily business. It'll make you more alluring in the long run.

    Part 3 of 3: Taking the Relationship Further

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      Tell him how you feel. If the two of you have been flirting and hanging out and you feel there might be a spark, the best and most mature thing to do is to tell him. The worst that could happen is that he won't feel the same way, but at least you'll know. You'll also know that you were brave enough to try and that's huge!
      • Talk to him in person and make sure that you are alone. You don't want an audience, especially if he doesn't feel the same way, but you also don't want to place that kind of pressure on him.
      • Say something like "I've really enjoying hanging out with you for the past months and I feel like there's a kind of connection growing between us. I'd really like to have an actual date and see if things progress from there. How would you feel about that?"
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      Take things slowly. If he does respond well to your overture then you want to make sure that you keep things calm. Rushing right in through all the different parts of a relationship can be heady, but it can also make things run their course sooner or get too overwhelming.
      • While there's nothing wrong with having sex on your first date (especially if you've known one another for awhile) it can be a good idea to hold off for a bit. Sex complicates things and, especially if the guy is a friend of yours, you want to make sure that the relationship is really what you both want before it gets too complicated.
      • This will also give you a chance to consider whether you really want to be with him. Relationships rarely end up how you think they're going to end up and you'll need to adjust to the reality. You will also need to consider whether you're interested in this guy because you want a boyfriend, any boyfriend, rather than this boy in particular.
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      Do your own thing. A really, incredibly important part of getting him attracted and keeping him attracted is to do things on your own. Have nights out with your friends that don't include significant others, do fun things by yourself. You'll show that you know how to have a good time and that you aren't clingy.
      • Avoid dropping everything and hanging out with him every single time he asks. You want to be available for hanging out, but you also want to have a life. Show that while you love hanging out with him you do have other things in your life that you enjoy as well.
      • Remember to be happy with yourself. Do things that you love, try out new experiences. People who are happy attract others to them, because they want a piece of that happiness. It doesn't mean you need to fake happiness if you aren't happy, it means that you should cultivate a life in which you are happy.
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      Temper your expectations. Having too many expectations for the guy and for the potential relationship is a surefire way to foul it up. Going into a relationship with your entire future planned out with this guy places way too many expectations on him. He's likely to feel overwhelmed which won't bode well for the future.
      • For example: If you both have just started to take your relationship further, you don't immediately want to think about things like marriage, moving in together, or even saying "I love you." Wait awhile, at least until the honeymoon phase is over (typically at the end of three months) before trying to get really serious.
      • There's nothing wrong with daydreams about where the relationship could lead, but forcing the relationship to follow that narrow path without letting it grow as it needs to grow will kill it.
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      Show him you appreciate him. People like to be noticed and they like it when others show that their efforts aren't being wasted. When you show that you appreciate him, it will make you more likely to ignite interest in him.[7]
      • Thank him when he does something awesome or helpful. For example: if he always takes you to school in his car, bake him some cookies and tell him it's for always being on time (you might even make a joke and thank him for being your chauffeur if you think that would go down well).
      • Tell him what he means to you. You don't have to confess your undying love, especially if you're not sure he reciprocates, but you could say something like "It means so much to me that you've been helping me out with my math homework."


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