Monday 13 April 2015

Couple having dinner


In the early stages of building relationships, most people especially ladies, tend to look on just the outward qualities and end up making many mistakes in the future.
Not that looking out for the outward appearance is a bad thing, but it shouldn't be the basics in starting any relationship.
Different people have different tastes which is not a bad thing at but looking at the character of a man you are about to date or marry is the important thing. How does he treat you inside and outside? how does he treat his family members?, how trustworthy is he? does he manage his finances well? can he take firm decisions on his own?
Liz Lampkin of Madame Noire puts ladies through on the best qualities to watch out for when looking inside of a man rather than looking at him.
  1. Is he honest?: Is he upfront with you about things that are important and what he is feeling? Does he have a habit of fibbing about things that aren’t that deep? Honesty is what holds a relationship together because trust is everything. One cannot be comfortable in a relationship if they feel like they can’t believe the things that come out of the other person’s mouth.
  2. Is he consistent?: Is he really sweet and romantic one minute, and then hard to get in touch with the next? In the beginning, this will be pretty hard to figure out (unless he slips up fast) because people often put up a front to impress the individual they are interested in. But if he is already slacking on the romance, things will only go downhill from there.
  3. Is he humble?: Is he modest or is he really into himself? Can he admit when he is wrong or is he always refusing to own up to his mess?
  4. How does he communicate with you and others?: It is also important to surround yourself with people who treat you right. A man who does not know how to talk to you may feel a little too comfortable disrespecting you. If there are obvious signs that his mouth may get him in trouble, don’t avoid them.
  5. If he is a father, how is his relationship with his kids?: It does not take much for a man to have a child, but it takes much effort to be a good father. So what is his relationship like with his kids? Is he present? Does he talk to them often? Moreover, does he try to have positive interactions with the mother of the kid(s)? It is hard to respect and cultivate a relationship with someone who doesn’t make an effort for the sake of his children.
  6. Is he an intellectual?: Can he stimulate your mind? A fine man who is good in bed is nice, but an intelligent man who has more to talk about than surface bull (and sports) is great! Is he conscious of what’s going on in the world around him?
  7. What are his values?: What does he consider his foundation? Where does he stand in terms of politics? If you are a woman of a specific faith, are the both of you on the same page? If not, can you work with that, or is it something very important to you? A man’s values make him who he is, so if you don’t like those values, you may want to get out know instead of trying to change him.
  8. How does he handle his finances?: Is he a reckless spender? Does he save? While most of us aren’t Suze Orman in terms of the way we handle our money, a terrible credit score and major debt is something that needs to should be addressed.
  9. Is he all talk and no action?: This one speaks for itself: Does he keep his word? Is he the type of man you think you could count on? Does he at least put in an effort? A reliable man is almost as important as a trustworthy one. Who wants to waste time on someone who doesn’t show up for you? It could create resentment down the line.
If we focus on these things, we’ll learn what we need to know about a man and can effectively decide whether or not we want to continue or even begin a healthy relationship with him. Physical qualities fade, but a man who possesses an upstanding character is one who will cherish and treat you like the queen you are. Take some time to get to know him on a serious level and find out who he is internally and not whom he wants you to believe he is based on his external image. Trust me, it will help you in the long run.


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