How to Be a Dominatrix

culled from:wikihow.com

Method 1 of 2: Being a Dominatrix Within a Relationship

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   Decide on a safe word with your partner. This is to protect you both if one partner gets carried away or someone starts to feel uncomfortable. Once you or your partner says the safe word, stop what you are doing and reset.
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   Experiment with restraints. One of the staples of a dominatrix role is to tie up your subordinate partner (sub).
   • Use handcuffs, ribbons, scarves, rope or anything you have available.
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   Try a blindfold. Keeping your partner in suspense is a tool you can use as a dominatrix. He will not see what is coming next.
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   Forbid your partner to make any sounds. You can use a gag, but if that is too uncomfortable, just instruct him not to speak.
   • Punish your partner when he deviates from your instructions. A dominatrix might spank or tease any time her sub misbehaves.
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   Make your lover your slave. You can use him to give you a foot massage, a back rub, tell him to run you a bath or dress you in your sexiest lingerie. Requiring any type of foreplay you enjoy can be part of your role as a dominatrix.

Method 2 of 2: Understanding the Qualities of a Professional Dominatrix

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   Try not to turn your role as a dominatrix into a political statement. It can be an empowering role for a feminist or even for someone who is submissive in other parts of her life. It should not be anti-man or an expression of hate.
   • Talk about anger issues you may have with a therapist or counselor. As a dominatrix, you will be exploring your ability to exercise power and control, but you cannot take out your feelings after a bad breakup on your partners or clients.
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   Dress the part. This does not necessarily mean whips, chains and piercings. You can experiment with different things, but start with basics, such as stilettos or boots and sexy, revealing lingerie and undergarments.
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   Create healthy boundaries. Many people who perform the services of a dominatrix for money or as a hobby live otherwise normal and healthy lives.
   • Resist revealing too much personal information about yourself when you are engaging in dominatrix role play.
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   Keep an open mind. Do not assume the people who want to be your subs are weird, crazy, lazy or inhibited. This type of lifestyle attracts people from all backgrounds. Expect anything and everything.