How to Discuss Sex with Your Child

culled from:wikihow.com

Method 1 of 2: Talking to Young Children

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   Keep in mind that your child will, if you start late (6 onwards is a good indicative), most likely know more than they let on about sex. In these days, kids often know more about sex than the parents.
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   Talk about sex more than once. It's best if kids hear small doses about sex over and over. Having one "sex talk" might be a convenient way for a parent to "get it over with" but it conveys that there is something embarrassing about sex, and doesn't provide for openings in communication later.
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   Tell your child about the names of their sexual body parts, saying "That's your penis" or "That part is your vulva." (Avoid using nicknames like "peepee" or even "privates" as they convey that the real name is "embarrassing" or "naughty".) Start as early as when they are tots. This is when they're learning about all parts of their body. Talk to them when they are showing interest in their own body, or playing (by that I mean masturbating) with showing those things to you. It's totally normal.
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   Talk to your elementary child about crushes. Listen for when they talk about kids hugging or kissing on the playground, and when you hear it, take the opportunity to find out if there's anyone they like? Have they ever kissed anyone? At around age ten is the first stage of sexual awareness for children. They notice that it feels good to touch themselves. This is an important stage for later sexual health and identity. Never shame your child for their natural tendencies, as this is a natural part of healthy sexual development. If your child starts discussing other people's sexual body parts (or lack thereof) feel free to correct them gently.
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   Listen to your middle schooler. Are they interested in boys or girls? Are some of their friends "going out with someone " Ask where they go and what they do. It's really important for your kids to know that you'll listen without freaking out. You may have opinions about what's happening, but it's most important to hear what your child has to say. Ask them if they have any questions about boys or girls. Tell them about the mechanics of sexual intercourse. (Most of them have already heard this information from their friends who have older siblings, but it's important that they know you're willing to talk about it so they can come to you with questions later.)
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   When your child asks you questions on the subject, always answer them truthfully and honestly and never lie or hide. If you don't know the answer, both you and your child can look up the meaning in a medical book. Honesty is always the best policy. Your child can resent you if you lie to them or hide it from them (e.g saying I'll tell you when you are a bit older, or, "The Stork brought you here")
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   Ask them about their opinion, and if they have any worries or questions.

Method 2 of 2: Talking to Older Children

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   Broaden your discussions as the child gets older. By high school, talk to your child about sexual feelings and thoughts. Sexual feelings are normal and are felt often and sometimes really strongly. Let your child know that they can enjoy their sexual feelings without acting on them. Ask them when they think a person would be ready to have sex. What are their parameters? Then share with them some of the thoughts you have now, and the feelings you remember having in high school.
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   Show them a book or a website that is written by qualified Sex Health Care Professional and Educators. No matter what you think, practically, it still is difficult for over 80% of well intentioned parents to follow steps 1 to 8.
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   Be open minded. Be aware of your child's social lives, and make them feel comfortable enough to talk to you about their love lives.
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   Stress the importance of safe sex to your child. Make sure that they are well educated on the more common types of STD's, how they are transmitted, and how they can be prevented.
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   Talk to them about the different types of birth control. Show your child how to put on a condom safely, using a prop such as a banana to make the experience more comfortable. If you have a daughter, go into more detail and make sure they know about all the different options they have for birth control.
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   Instill confidence in your children. This should have been done from a very young age. Make sure that they have enough confidence in themselves to be able to say no to sex until they are ready or until they want to.
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   Make it clear to your son or daughter that it is okay to come to you with questions or concerns, and that you should be the first person they should talk to if they want to go on birth control. You should not be someone that they are scared of.