Monday 16 March 2015

Couple talking in bed


When your previous relationship ends in an abrupt breakup, it's almost always a good idea to go find yourself a rebound relationship — that is, any relationship that is primarily about finding someone to fill the void left in your life by your ex.
Most rebound relationships are usually fun, casual and majorly about sex, but if not well handled, it could lead to something dreadful: a serious relationship with someone you're not in love with.
So how do you prevent a fling from turning into something serious? Below are some tips that will help you with this:
  • Keep your feelings in check: Don't allow yourself to be sucked into the usual relationship behaviour, like always being in touch or constant texting. Instead, keep your distance and don't take things too seriously. If you don't hear from them for a few days, it's okay. You know you need to work on yourself and your own healing, rather than hanging around waiting for someone else. 
  • Have realistic expectations: You need to be realistic about what your rebound means to you and where they stand in your life. They are not a friend or a serious partner, but rather a buddy you call when no one else is around. They're not part of your inner circle — they're more like a distant moon that sometimes comes into your orbit. If you feel worried that you might get in too deep with your rebound relationship, give yourself a time frame. Tell yourself that you will allow your rebound to last for a few months, and then you'll take some time off to collect your thoughts before jumping back into serious dating. This way, you won't find yourself getting too attached and lowering your expectations in order to stay in the relationship.
  • Allow yourself to mourn your past relationship: There's a good chance you're still a bit broken, since you just came out of a relationship. You're still feeling confused and wounded. You need to allow yourself to grieve the loss of what you had with your ex, because even if you had the worst breakup, there were still probably parts of your relationship that were once great. If you let yourself truly experience your tears and your grief, you'll see that you're not ready for anything but a rebound — because a relationship that starts when you're still mourning your past is likely to be doomed.
  • Avoid making any major future plans: While you might be excited at the thought of bringing someone home for the holidays instead of riding solo, you need to be honest with yourself about what your rebound really is. The likelihood of that person staying in your life is very slim, so there's no point in signing up for creating more memories. Realize that you will have a person that you make future plans with again some day, but your rebound partner isn't that person.
  • Be honest with your rebound: From the beginning, spell it all out to your new bang buddy: 'This is just sex. You are my transitional person. We'll have fun. If you don't call me, I won't cry. I'm totally in control of my feelings and won't let them get the better of me.' If you can be upfront about your intentions in the first place, then ideally, you'll create a self-fulfilling prophecy.
  • Realize your rebound serves only one purpose: The purpose? To occupy your time and your vagina, and bring you back to life after being dealt the blow of a break-up. That is all. Don't try to make it more than it is.


Post a Comment