Why Do Opposites Attract: 10 Reasons Why Differences Intrigue Us

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1. It’s a risk

One of the main reasons opposites attract is because it’s risky. You’re taking a risk with your values, your cultural upbringing, and most importantly, your heart when you step out of your comfort zone which entails a “just like me” type of guy and start dating someone entirely different from you. It’s a pretty big risk, too.

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2. Curiosity

Most of the time we are really just curious about someone who isn’t at all like us. In other words, many of us are often attracted to our opposites because it gives us a chance to satisfy some curiosity about the “other” type of lifestyle.

3. It’s challenging

I remember being told once that “opposites attract, but they shouldn’t get married”. That was said to me after my first big argument with my first husband. It’s true, he and I were very different people. I was a band geek and socially awkward, he was a head-banger and a party guy.
We had almost nothing in common. It was hard work keeping our relationship together. That challenge is what made both of us want it so badly, I think.

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4. It’s passionate

Of course, conflicting personalities create a lot of chemistry and passion. They’re passionate about their feelings for each other, about their ideas, their upbringing, their feelings and thoughts…everything is heated because you’re constantly trying to explain (or even defend) your way of thinking.

5. It’s a chance to learn

My second husband was also my polar opposite (I didn’t learn the first time apparently). He was from another country, born and raised outside the United States. I, of course, have never been to that side of the world and didn’t understand anything about the culture.
For both of us, it was a chance to immerse ourselves in each other’s cultures, in a manner of speaking. We learned a lot about different foods, different ways of thinking, different cultural norms, and even different languages from each other.

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6. It’s completely different

Opposites attract because it’s different than anything you’ve ever known. People are often in awe and admiration of those who have something new and exciting to offer, and there is often an attraction to the unknown. It’s very easy to simply be attracted to someone completely different than anyone you’ve ever dated, too.

7. It’s a way of discovering yourself

One of the best ways to discover something about yourself is to do what you normally would never do. If you can’t be someone different, then date someone different. Being with someone who has different opinions and beliefs than you do is a way of inadvertently learning more about who YOU are.
You’ll figure out which of your own ideals and beliefs you hold the strongest, you’ll discover your feelings on politics and cultural norms, and you’ll learn that you have opinions on things you never realized meant anything at all to you. Being with someone who is your opposite lets you learn more about yourself.

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8. It’s sexy

Did I happen to mention how sexy my ex was? Not only was he my opposite in personality, he was also my opposite in looks. I’m short, pale, have red hair and a few extra pounds. He was tall, lanky, a Native American with dark eyes and olive skin. He’s a looker, I’ll be honest. That’s the thing about opposites, we’re attracted to them physically, too!
There’s something really sexy about someone who doesn’t look at all like you. I like my men olive skinned and dark haired, I always have, because I love the contrast of it against my pale skin when we’re in bed. It’s sexy. Opposites are physically attractive.

9. It heats the blood

Whether you’re in the throes of passionate love making, or you’re in the midst of the argument of the century, you and your opposite are undoubtedly very hot blooded when you’re together. The difference of opinion, the stubborn and opposite ways of thinking, the sexual heat and the emotional heat all make it very appealing and, well…hot.

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10. It’s provocative

One of the many reasons opposites attract is what I like to call “bad boy syndrome”. It isn’t just because he looks good in that leather jacket, it isn’t just because he’s passionate about his beliefs and strongly opinionated, it isn’t even just because he makes you want to kick him and kiss him at the same time…no, it’s because he makes your PARENTS angry.
That’s right, as much as we hate to admit it; we often love to date the wrong guy because it provokes our parents or our friends. Nobody wants to see us with that guy. Nobody wants us to date the bad boy with the long hair and motorcycle. It’s provoking to date someone our friends and family wouldn’t consider socially acceptable, and that provocation can be quite a thrill itself.

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Although not all of these reasons apply to everyone all the time, these are all still very real and valid reasons why opposites attract. Believe me, I know, I’ve experiences all of them! While I do think I’ll eventually settle down with someone who is a lot like me, I’ll be the first to admit that even now I’m drawn to guys I really shouldn’t be with. They’re just so hot, right?