How to Be Humble

"It's hard to be humble," says an old country song, "when you're perfect in every way." Of course, few people actually think they're perfect in every way. But it can still be pretty hard to be humble, especially if you live in a society that encourages competition and individuality. Yet even in such a culture, humility remains an important virtue. Learning to be humble is of paramount importance in most spiritual traditions, and humility can help you develop more fully and enjoy richer relationships with others.

Part 1 of 3: Accepting Your Limitations

 

 

1

Admit that you're not the best at everything -- or anything. No matter how talented you are, there is almost always somebody who can do something better than you. Look to those who are better and consider the potential for improvement. Nobody is the best at something.

• Even if you are the best in the world at doing one thing, there are always other things that you cannot do, and may never be able to do.
• Recognizing your limitations does not mean abandoning your dreams, and it does not mean giving up on learning new things or improving your existing abilities.

2

Recognize your own faults. We judge others because it's a lot easier than looking at ourselves. Unfortunately, it's also completely unproductive and, in many cases, harmful. Judging others causes strife in relationships, and it prevents new relationships from forming. Perhaps even worse, it prevents us from trying to improve ourselves. Everybody makes mistakes.

• We make judgments about others all the time, usually without even realizing it. As a practical exercise, try to catch yourself in the act of judging another person or group of people, and whenever you do, judge yourself instead. Consider how you can improve yourself.
• Work to address your flaws. Remember that growth and improvement is a lifelong process.

3

Be grateful for what you have. Suppose you graduate from an Ivy League university at the top of your class. You definitely deserve a lot of credit for the many hours of studying and for your perseverance. Consider though, that there is someone just as intelligent and hardworking as you who had less supportive parents, grew up in a different place, or just made one wrong choice in life. You could be in their position instead.

• Always remember that with a bad choice yesterday, your whole life could be different today and, furthermore, that today could be the day your good choices changes your life.
• Though you have undoubtedly worked hard for what you have, don't think that you've "earned" it all and that you have the right to brag about your achievements.

4

Don't be afraid to make mistakes. Part of being humble is understanding that you will make mistakes. Understand this, and understand that everyone else makes mistakes, and you will have a heavy burden lifted off of you. Any one person can know only the smallest bits and pieces of the tremendous knowledge that has accumulated over the past.

• What's more, each person experiences only a sliver of the present, and knows little to nothing of the future.

5

Admit your mistakes. Not being afraid to make mistakes is already a good move; it's even better, though, to admit to any mistakes you've made. Whether you've made a mistake as a boss, parent, or friend, people will appreciate the fact that you're willing to admit that you're not perfect and that you're working to improve yourself and the situation. Admitting your mistakes shows that you're not stubborn, selfish, or unwilling to not look perfect.

• Admitting your mistakes will make people respect you more, whether they are your own children or your coworkers.

6

Avoid bragging. Don't talk about how amazing your achievements are; if you're really so great, then other people will recognize your efforts and will praise you for them. Don't talk about your amazing promotion, the incredible painting you just finished, or how awesome it was that you just finished a marathon. Sure, these things are awesome, but bragging about them will only make you look self-centered and will impress people much less than waiting for them to figure out how amazing you are.

• This doesn't mean you should lie about achieving something; if someone asked if you ran a marathon, say yes; but don't start going on and on about what a champion you are unprovoked.

7

Be reserved in conversations. Humble people don't have to be meek wallflowers, but they shouldn't be especially loud, boisterous, or attention-seeking either. In conversations, try to keep an even, measured tone. Make sure everyone gets a chance to express himself - don't interrupt or talk anyone down. Above all, try to have a genuine, focused interest in what others have to say - a humble person values others' opinions at least as much as her own.

8

Don't take all the credit. Sure, you baked an amazing steak or completed a complicated project at work; but did you really do it all by yourself? If so, then good for you, but chances are, someone else contributed to your success. So, when you're praised by someone, say, "I couldn't have done it without...." or "...helped out a lot, too." Don't talk on and on about how hard you worked all by yourself on completing the task.

• Share the love. There's nothing less humble than a person who takes all the credit for something he didn't do.

Part 2 of 3: Appreciating Others

 

 

1

Appreciate the talents and qualities of others. Challenge yourself to look at others and appreciate the things they can do and, more generally, to appreciate people for who they are. Understand that everybody is different and relish the chance you have to experience different people. You will still have your personal tastes, your likes and dislikes, but train yourself to separate your opinions from your fears and you will appreciate others more - you will be humbler.

• Being able to appreciate the talents and qualities of other people can also make you recognize qualities that you want to improve or attain within yourself.

2

Stop comparing yourself to others. It's nearly impossible to be humble when we're striving to be the "best" or trying to be better than others. Instead, try describing things more objectively. Rather than saying that so and so is the best guitarist ever, say what exactly it is that you appreciate about his skills, or simply say that you like his playing style. Let go of meaningless, simplistic comparisons, and you'll be able to enjoy doing things without worrying about whether you're better or worse at them than others.

• Every individual is unique, and it's hard to truly say who is "the best" at something.

3

Don't be afraid to defer to others' judgment. It's easy to acknowledge that you make mistakes and that you're not always right. Somewhat more difficult however, is the ability to acknowledge that in many cases other people — even people who disagree with you — may be right. Deferring to your spouse's wishes, to a law you don't agree with, or even, sometimes, to your child's opinion takes your recognition of your limitations to a different level.

• Instead of simply saying that you know that you're fallible, you take action based on that fact.
• Of course, if you know that a particular course of action is wrong, you shouldn't follow it. On closer inspection, though, you may realize that you don't actually know this as often as you think you do.

4

Seek guidance from written texts. This is another way of appreciating others. Contemplate moral texts and proverbs about humility. Pray for it,meditate on it, do whatever it takes to get your attention off yourself. You can read inspiring biographies, memoirs, The Bible, nonfiction on how to improve your life, or whatever it is that makes you be more humble and appreciate the insight that others have to offer.

• If you're not into spirituality, consider the scientific method. Science requires humility. It requires that you let go of your preconceived notions and judgments and understand that you don't know as much as you think you do.

5

Remain teachable. Find people you aspire to be like in certain areas, and ask them to mentor you. Under mentorship; good boundary setting, confidentiality and discernment is required. As soon as you cross the line of being 'unteachable', bring yourself back down to earth again. Being teachable means that you admit that you always have more to learn about life.

• You can be more humble by taking classes in something you know nothing about, such as pottery or screen writing, and knowing that you will let others teach you.

6

Help others. A big part of being humble is respecting others, and part of respecting others is helping them. Treat other people as equals and help them because it is the right thing to do. It's been said that when you can help others who cannot possibly help you in return, you have learned humility. Helping people in need will also make you appreciate what you have even more, and will make you less proud.

• It goes without saying: don't brag about all the volunteering you've done.

7

Go last. If you're in line with friends, picking prizes at an arcade, or scooping food onto your plate at a pot luck, go last. Let your friends, significant others, elders, total strangers, whoever, get in line ahead of you and don't rush to satisfy your own needs right away. It is more rewarding to let others have what they want and to sit back and wait your turn.

• Ask yourself, "Do I really need to do this first so badly?" The answer will always be no.

 

 

 

8

Compliment others. Give someone you love, or even someone you barely know, a compliment just because. Tell your girlfriend she looks pretty today; compliment your co-worker's new hairdo, or tell the check-out girl at the grocery store that you like her earrings. Or you can go deeper, and compliment important aspects of people's personalities. Give at least one compliment a day and you will see that other people have so much to offer to the world.

• Focus on the positive attributes of others instead of always looking for their flaws.

9

Apologize. If you've made a mistake, then confess and admit that you're wrong. Even though saying you're sorry to someone else is painful, you'll have to get over your pride and tell another person that you're sorry for the harm you've done. This will show the person that you value him or her greatly and that you acknowledge that you've made a mistake. Swallow your pride and say that you're sorry for what you did and show the person that you're truly sorry for your actions.

• Make eye contact when you apologize to show that you really care.
• Don't be a repeat offender. Apologizing about something does not give you a license to do it again.

10

Listen more than you talk. This is another great way of appreciating others more and being more humble. The next time you engage in a conversation, let the other person talk, don't interrupt, and ask questions to keep the person talking and sharing. Though you should contribute to the conversation, make a habit of letting others express themselves more than you do so you don't act like you're only concerned with the things that are going on in your life.

• Don't just nod and say "Uh huh"; show that you're really listening.
• Ask questions to show that you understand what the person is talking about. Don't just wait for the person to stop talking so that you can start talking.

Part 3 of 3: Rediscovering a Sense of Wonder

 

1

Rejuvenate your sense of wonder. Because we, as individuals, know practically nothing, you'd expect that we'd be awestruck more often than we typically are. Children have this sense of wonder, and it inspires the curiosity that makes them such keen observers and capable learners. Do you really know how your microwave works? Could you build one on your own? What about your car? Your brain? A rose?

• The jaded, "I've seen it all" attitude makes us feel far more important than we are. Be amazed like a child and you will not only be humbled; you will also be readier to learn.

2

Practice gentleness. Gentleness of spirit is the sure path to humility. Use 'Aikido' where possible when faced with conflict. ie. Absorb the venom from other's attacks and react with gentleness and respect. Practicing gentleness will help you rediscover your sense of wonder as you focus on the positive aspects of life.

3

Spend more time in nature. Go take a walk in the park. Stand near the bottom of a waterfall. Look at the world from the top of a mountain. Go for a long hike. Swim in an ocean. Find your own way of being in nature and take the time to truly appreciate all that it entails. Close your eyes and feel the breeze on your face. You should feel completely humbled by nature, as you develop your wonder and respect for all of the things that were there long before you were and which will be there long after you are gone.

• Spending more time in nature will make you see how big and complicated the world is -- and that you're not at the center of it.

4

Do yoga. Yoga is the practice of love and gratitude, and it will make you develop your sense of wonder about your breath, your body, and the love and kindness in the world around you. Yoga makes you see how fleeting your time on earth is and to appreciate it even more. Make a habit of practicing yoga at least twice a week and reap all of the emotional benefits as well as the physical ones.

• Yoga is all about being humble. There is no such thing as bragging about how you've hit a new pose in yoga. It's all about doing everything at your own pace.

5

Spend time around children. Children possess a sense of wonder at the world that is difficult to replicate as an adult. Spend more time around kids and see how they appreciate the world, are constantly questioning it, and how they get pleasure and joy out of the smallest and most mundane things. To a child, a flower or a toilet paper roll can be the most incredible thing in the world -- for an afternoon, anyway.

• Spending more time around children will remind you of how magical the world really is.

source:wikihow.com