Why making a good first impression is important

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culled from:pathtochange.com.

First impressions matter. You’ve heard this sage advice your whole life, but now there is evidence to back it up. A study in the Journal of Experimental Psychology: General reports that the first impression a person has of a new acquaintance is likely to dominate the way he/she views the person from that point.
“Imagine you have a new colleague at work and your impression of that person is not very favorable,” explains study lead author Bertram Gawronski. “A few weeks later, you meet your colleague at a party and you realize he is actually a very nice guy. Although you know your first impression was wrong, your gut response to your new colleague will be influenced by your new experience only in contexts that are similar to the party. However, your first impression will still dominate in all other contexts.”
Additionally, the study author reports that our brain stores experiences that violate our expectations as exceptions to the rule: The rule is treated as valid except for the specific context in which it has been violated.
In the workplace, first impressions set the tone for relationships that may mean the difference for career and business success. Interviewing, networking, meeting new clients and colleagues are all ripe opportunities to either score or blow it in the first few minutes.
Our actions, words, facial expressions and body language all send subtle messages that we can be unconscious we send. Here are my coaching tips for better first impressions.
— Stop faking a smile. It doesn’t work. We have amazingly perceptive radar for picking up phony body language. Studies show that during interviews, fake smiling results in less favorable evaluations than does genuine smiling.
— Don’t make it “all about you.” If all you do is talk about yourself and not invite conversation or demonstrate your interest in the other, most people walk away with the notion that you are an egomaniac or self-promoting narcissist. Ask a conversation-starting question like, “What do you do?” Small talk isn’t as important as conveying a true interest in the other. Find areas of common interest, as this often increases the connection or bond we feel toward others. Notice pictures in someone’s office or words in conversation to identify a connecting point.
— Be confident without self-promotion. Blatant self-promotion is easily identified.
— Avoid odd mannerisms — knuckle cracking, staring at your shoes, nervous twitching, foot tapping or pencil spinning. Get help from a coach if this is you. Not being comfortable in your own skin is a turn-off. Relax and remember to honor the “personal space” of others: 26 to 28 inches away is a good “average” guideline for most Americans. The trick is noticing when someone else isn’t comfortable — i.e., they back away. This is a strong clue that you are too close to them.
— Eye contact. We judge others for authenticity and sincerity by their ability to look us in the eye. One caveat — you can overdo this. Break eye contact (slowly not abruptly) occasionally because staring someone down will likely make anyone uncomfortable.
— Be positive. No one wants to be around a negative whiner for long. We remember positively those who exude enthusiasm, energy and good will.
— Can I trust you? This may be the most important question on the mind of any new potential workplace relationship. Trust is critical and how we will judge this for the duration of the relationship begins with our first impressions.
MAUREEN MORIARTY specializes in emotional intelligence, executive coaching, leadership development, change management and career transition coaching for professionals and teaches leadership and team development courses.