From the Boss: Lessons in What Not to Wear

culled from:wsj.com

"I want women to be paid attention to for what they say--and not how they look," explains Ms. Wilderotter.

As women increasingly step into visible positions at work, their female bosses are stepping in to declare a fashion emergency. Some even send subordinates home or to a store to fix a wardrobe mistake.
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Linda Hudson, the chief executive officer for the U.S. arm of BAE Systems PLC, meets with colleagues Bridgette Weitzel, chief talent officer and Kristie Cunningham, center, senior vice president of communications. Lexey Swall for The Wall Street Journal

Getting dressed down by a boss can feel like a slap in the face. But high-level women say their younger counterparts must look the part if they want to advance, according to nearly two dozen leadership coaches, image consultants and women managers.

Business casual replaced suits at most offices years ago, and now high-tech companies—where hoodies and jeans often rule—seem to be steering a trend toward ultra-casual workwear. About 34% of U.S. employers allow casual dress every day, according to a 2013 poll by the Society for Human Resource Management. Some people come to work dressed in ways "employers never would have dreamed of just a short time ago," the professional group says.

Women face more pitfalls because they have more clothing choices than men. And because male bosses fear being accused of sexual harassment, it usually falls to female supervisors to confront an associate about her attire. These conversations are awkward for women executives, too. So they should choose their words and approach carefully.

A chastised employee "may get demoralized and angry," or feel the boss is not on their side, observes Dee Soder, founder of CEO Perspective Group, an executive-advisory firm.

Casual Friday is especially tricky. Frontier's Ms. Wilderotter once asked an executive assistant dressed in sweatpants and sneakers to go back home to change. The assistant had been drafted to help with a Frontier board meeting on the executive floor of its Stamford, Conn., headquarters, where formal business attire rules always apply. The woman, who is still with the company, now typically wears jeans, a blazer and a blouse on Fridays.

Rosalind Hudnell, human resources vice president of Intel Corp. , occasionally intervenes when she sees young female staffers clad unprofessionally, even though Intel staffers often wear shorts and jeans.

She believes dressing well helps co-workers be perceived as "ready to take on greater responsibility." As an example, she notes that she recently advised three newly hired college graduates against wearing tops with bra straps peeking out.

"I would hate for people to focus on your bra straps rather than focusing on what you went to college for," counseled Ms. Hudnell, who still wears suits or dresses for outside meetings. The women said they hadn't thought about it that way.
Making a Quick Change

Some fast fixes for a too-revealing look:

    Borrow a co-worker's cardigan;
    Turn up the lapel of a blazer;
    Cover up with a scarf;
    Turn a low-cut top around to wear it backwards.

The wrong attire can also risk offending clients. That's why Debi Hammond, CEO of Merlot Marketing Inc. in Sacramento, Calif., has sent several female employees home to change their clothes.

Ms. Hammond stepped in once when an account executive showed up in a very short skirt shortly before a meeting with a potential public-relations customer. The young woman ran home, put on a pantsuit – and never wore a short skirt to work again, Ms. Hammond says, adding that the staffer appreciated the advice. She left Merlot about a year and a half ago.

Clients regularly visit Bellows Law Group, a small Chicago firm where seven of ten staffers are female. Owner Laurel Bellows forbids revealing, too-casual attire. She says she wants clients paying more attention to her employees' work than their appearance. So when hiring a woman, "I say, 'If you could wear this little top and skirt to the beach, don't wear it to the office.'"

Other female bosses say that women should be not be scolded for wearing what they like at work.

"I would never send someone home for showing too much cleavage," says Lynn Tilton, founder of Patriarch Partners LLC, a private-equity firm. Ms. Tilton, a billionaire, is nearly as well known for her work wear--which often includes tight leather skirts and five-inch stilettos—as her portfolio of companies. "Women should be able to be smart, sexy and sophisticated in how they dress," she adds.

Confrontations over workplace clothing can end badly. Executive coach Raleigh Mayer says she's had female clients burst into tears upon hearing they should change their wardrobes.

There's awkwardness on both sides. "It is always an uncomfortable conversation,'' says Ms. Hammond, the marketing agency founder. "You don't want to hurt people's feelings.''

In summer 2011, an analyst at a New York consulting firm felt unfairly criticized because she briefly displayed a tight, lacy camisole on a hot day. "I walked from the front door to my desk still carrying my (suit) jacket," the analyst says.

Five minutes later, she was summoned to the human resources manager's office. The manager cited anonymous complaints from colleagues about the analyst's inappropriate dress that morning.

"I was absolutely flabbergasted," the analyst continues. "It was just one indication that I didn't belong in corporate America." She soon got laid off.

Unacceptable garb also hurt an ambitious woman about two years ago at the U.S. arm of BAE Systems PLC, a global defense giant. The female executive's low-cut tops and short dresses clashed with its conservative corporate culture, according to Linda Parker Hudson, the unit's CEO.

Ms. Hudson warned her lieutenant that her outfits undermined her professionalism, but the woman bristled at what she felt was an "infringement of her personal creativity," Ms. Hudson recollects.