The “CEO” – Possible Antidotes to Loneliness at the Top

culled from:readytomanage.com


Although we don’t tend to hear much complaining about it, it will be of no surprise to anyone who is a CEO, Managing Partner, Executive Director or any other kind of primary leader in an organization (which we will collectively call CEOs from now on), that it’s lonely at the top. This doesn’t mean that CEOs don’t have anyone to talk to, of course-far from it. Most CEOs have several one-to-one and one-to-many meetings every day, make and get many phone calls, send and receive emails and may even participate in some social events every week (even if it’s only lunch or dinner with colleagues). However, in none of these circumstances can a CEO usually openly share their issues and concerns or admit that they have a problem or do not have a clear idea of how to go forward or lead his or her organization in clear and confident ways. Not only might such “issue-sharing” inside a business be perceived (unfairly in many cases) to be a sign of frail thinking in general, but as most of a CEO’s interactions are with subordinates and board members (if they have a board) it may even be perceived as a problem in itself, making it even less likely that a CEO will disclose very much that would indicate that he or she is looking for options or ideas (and thereby leave a door open for a direct report to make a grab for the top job perhaps).

This inability to talk openly about real issues and concerns that any CEO would regularly and legitimately have every day in many cases is clearly a big problem for not only the CEO but the board and the shareholders too. They clearly would want a CEO to be looking for the best possible solutions from many sources, and not acting as if they have all the answers themselves all the time. This is what naturally tends to drive the increasing feeling of loneliness in having to make final decisions for most CEOs.

Although some organizations, and their boards in particular, may try to give a CEO support in getting useful and impartial in company advice and input, the more common approach is to recognize that the best antidote to this special kind of loneliness at the top is to get the support a CEO most needs from outside the business. In this approach, there are six main options that are typically available and in the rest of this article we will explore all six and the pros and cons of each of them.
Option 1: Get a coach for the CEO

Executive Coaching has exploded as a discipline in recent years and many CEOs are now getting some coaching from a person outside the organization, who can often be both independent and bring at least one external perspective. The main pros and cons for this option are as follows:
Pros     Cons

    External independent person
    Issues can be discussed in confidence (mostly)
    Third party ideas and practices can be brought in (within the experience realm of the coach)
    Easy to reach out to talk to as useful external sounding board

   

    Not always easy to find the right person (skill level and compatible in style or approach)
    Coach may not always have CEO level knowledge
    One person perspective on issues and concerns
    May easily stretch a given coach beyond his/her capability at times
    Cost can be quite high depending upon frequency and duration
    Some issues do not need a coaching solution

Option 2: Hire a management consultant(s)

Management consulting is now available from so-called boutique firms (with only one or two people) to very large-scale firms with hundreds of consultants with multi-disciplinary skills. CEOs typically use consultants on bigger or more significant issues or needs and for fixed periods of time, rather than as an ongoing means of support and advice. The main pros and cons for this option are as follows:
Pros     Cons

    Issue/concern expertise can be very focused and high
    Colleagues can be brought in with subject/ issue expertise quite readily
    Issues can be discussed in confidence (but some disclosure risk prevails after assignments are over)
    Third party ideas and practices can be brought in


   

    Selecting the best/most appropriate consultant or consulting firm is rarely easy
    Consultant(s) may bring his/her/their solutions to bear and “force fit” these to a large extent
    Cost can be very high depending upon the issue and duration of the project
    Typically is a fixed term engagement and then the consultant(s) leave
    CEOs may feel even less inclined to disclose to consultants than to colleagues or board

Option 3: Use professional advisers (lawyers, accountants etc.)

Professional advisers may already be “on-tap” for accounting, audit, legal and other professional needs that a given business may have but in this option, the professional adviser may be used on general retainer to act as a CEO sounding board or “confidante”. The main pros and cons for this option are as follows:
Pros     Cons

    External independent person (mostly)
    Issues can be discussed in confidence (mostly)
    Third party ideas and practices can be brought in (but usually relating to the functional expertise of the adviser)

   

    Not always easy to find the right person (skill level or broad enough expertise)
    Adviser may not always have CEO level knowledge
    One person perspective on issues and concerns
    May easily stretch a given professional adviser beyond his/her capability/ functional knowledge at times
    Cost can be quite high depending upon frequency and duration for relationship or retainer contract
    CEOs may not always be inclined to disclose to advisers than to colleagues or board as information may find its way back to the adviser firm-other colleagues/partners

Option 4: Enroll in an MBA or Leadership program

Large organizations have often sponsored CEOs to undertake MBA, mini MBA or Executive leadership programs to wider their external knowledge and contacts. And where they are not sponsored many CEOs now elect to do these courses themselves. The main pros and cons for this option are as follows:
Pros     Cons

    Get to meet several peers from other organizations over the course duration (although not all CEO ones)
    Can maintain good relationships after a program is over
    Issues can be discussed in confidence (mostly)
    Third party ideas and practices are shared and practice/case study exercises are typically undertaken to broaden skills

   

    Costs of courses (depending on status and duration) can be very high
    CEO is “lost” to the organization for a period of time to undertake the course
    Education is random and not issue related to the organization in question
    The course comes to an end at some point and support then becomes weak and fragile typically

Option 5: Join a trade/industry association

Associations (be they Trade or Industry or more geographically based) are many and various and are popular as networking channels and for information exchange forums for CEOs and other senior executives. The main pros and cons for this option are as follows:
Pros     Cons

    Good option for broader networking (but not just CEOs)
    External Industry/Sector/Trade knowledge is often more readily accessible

   

    Competitors are often also in the room
    CEO colleagues may also be in the room
    Are often highly general in their focus
    May only look at what is happening in the industry/sector/trade and not beyond
    Have members at all levels (including some at very junior levels)
    Tend to be mainly social in nature

Option 6: Join a peer member group

Peer member groups have been around for more than 50 years now and have become both national and international in their reach and membership in recent times. The model for the peer groups vary from one organization to another but the main pros and cons for this option are as follows:
Pros     Cons

    Peer groups often have 15-20 peer CEOs in them from non-competing industries
    Issues can be discussed in confidence
    Third party CEO’s ideas and practices can be readily contributed
    Specific CEO issues and concerns can be raised and processed within the peer group
    One-to-one expert coaching is often available as part of the option
    National and International connections are made available and facilitated to help find solutions to issues
    Expert speakers are often brought in to talk to the whole peer group based on common issues/challenges – this is often available as a standard part of the option
    This support groups tends to offer a lot of online expertise and eLearning as part of the package

   

    Most peer groups require monthly meetings of a half day or day for peer CEOs to meet
    You don’t get to pick the other CEOs you end up being with (has implications on both sides here therefore)
    There is a regular monthly fixed fee typically but this tends to be considerably lower than all of the other options above except joining a trade/industry association

Clearly there are other options that may be considered beyond the ones described above. However these are the most popular by far and either singly or in combination are the go-to approaches for CEOs in over 90% of organizations of all sizes and types and no matter what industry or sector they may come from.

So, from these options can we say any one is substantively better than another? Well, it should come as no surprise that the answer to this is “it depends”. We clearly need to take many factors into account in each organization’s circumstances at a given time and also recognize that any one of these options might be valuable for a fixed period of time. That being said, as the pros and cons above tend to indicate, it is option 6 that seems to have the most appeal. Given that the goal is essentially to provide the best antidote to CEO loneliness at the top, a peer advisory group, if well chosen, provides a long term group of other CEOs to work with over what may be many years, thereby building new relationships and even deep friendships over time. And the best of these external peer group organizations, such as Vistage for example, offer regular and expert executive coaching as part of the overall offering as well as wider networking both nationally and internationally. It therefore tends to offer several of the options described above in one place.

In the final analysis, the choice about how to deal with the often lonely position of a CEO in any organization is a personal one. Suffice it to say, there are some very real options or antidotes that can work well and help every CEO to feel that they can be who they really are and demonstrate as much curiosity as they like, by asking open questions as much as necessary, without the fear of criticism, contradiction or power play. This therefore must be an attractive option for most, as opposed to merely trying to live with the feeling of loneliness and doing nothing.