The Secret To Life And 3 Ways To Implement It

culled from:lifehack.org

When the word trust comes up, what comes to your mind? Is it someone you can trust a secret with? Or someone you know will do what they say, when they said they’d get it done? What if it’s someone you don’t know? How can you trust a stranger?

Here is the secret to life. It all starts with trust. So how do we build trust? Here are some of the fundamentals.
1. Connect

It’s often the first thing we do. We connect with another person, in person, on the phone or possibly via email. This connection is the start of building trust and there are three phases to trust with a connection:

Be present: If you are meeting in person, or via video, ask yourself: Am I making eye contact or pretending to look at them while peering over their shoulder at what’s happening behind them?

Caring: After you are present, find out about them and their needs. Is your tone one of caring about what they have to say or what you want to get? There is no quicker way to destroy trust than making it all about you, without taking them into consideration.

Confirmation: Once you have had the initial conversation, what are the next steps? Who will be responsible for what? Just by taking a moment to confirm you will be following up with them by a certain date or they will send you the link to the book they just told you about, will let both parties have a clear understanding of who will be doing what and when, so there are no misunderstandings that can often unnecessarily, destroy trust before it has a chance to take root. And here is a reality that happens every day. Most people don’t follow up. If you want to build trust and stand out, always follow up. It’s that simple.

    There is no quicker way to destroy trust than making it all about you, without taking them into consideration.

2. Purpose

Trust is strengthened with purpose. Knowing why you are doing something and making sure the other person understands this is a subtle, but powerful, way to build trust. When making introductions, I used to tell them exactly why they should meet and what I thought they would each get out of it.

What I learned, as my network grew, was that some things came out of it that I wasn’t expecting, or I didn’t introduce people at first because I didn’t think there was a purposeful match, only to learn later that I should have. Now when I make a connection, I tell people that I just know they should meet and they should discover if there is something there.

Most recently, I connected two people from halfway around the world this way. When I heard my friend from Australia was going to be visiting the US and asked if there was anyone he should meet while he was here, I make the connection saying if the two of them met in person, the Earth would shake. Later, they told me when they first talked they had no idea why I connected them and then after 10 minutes of talking, realized why. They went on to plan an event in New York City together and I’m sure will be building something even greater in the months to come. My experience and success in making connections has allowed people to trust this, but I always start by making sure they understand the purpose of why I am connecting them, even if the purpose is simply my gut feeling.

    If you want to build trust and stand out, always follow up. It’s that simple.

3. Initiate

Instinctually, we think of trust as a response, or something we reciprocate. It is much more powerful when we initiate trust. How exactly do you initiate trust? You listen and understand what the other person’s goals are. You identify the role you can play in helping them achieve those goals (this doesn’t have to be big, small is just as effective). I knew a coworker had a large project they were working on and needed to reach some influencers. Instead of waiting for them to ask me if I could help, I put together a short list and sent it letting them know it wasn’t much but hopefully it would save them some time. By initiating support for my teammate, I also built trust that we would have each other’s backs when we needed it.

In today’s world it’s easy to think of yourself. But when we stop and think of others, and how we can be giving to them, trust becomes the cornerstone of relationships that create collaboration and build communities.