Friday 27 February 2015

culled from:

When you are in a situation where you may be crying, you may find crying in public embarrassing, and you want to not cry and be strong. However, always remember that its good to cry and everyone does it. Everyone has emotions and they will understand why you are crying. Here are a few tips to make sure you hold your tears back!

Method 1 of 4: Physically Stopping Yourself from Crying

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    Focus on your breathing. Crying is a reaction caused by a heightened state of emotions. Perhaps you’ve just thought of a sad memory, you’ve been broken up with, or something tragic has happened in your life. Calming yourself is a big part of stopping yourself from crying. Focusing on breathing, as in meditation, can help you to control the emotions you are feeling and help you to restore a sense of inner peace.[1]
    • When you feel the tears coming, breathing in slowly and deeply through your nose, then exhale slowly through your mouth. Doing this will both relax the lump that forms in your throat when you are on the verge of tears, and will stabilize your thoughts and emotions.
    • Try counting to 10. Breath in through your nose when you count a number. Exhale through your mouth when you are between numbers. Counting helps you to focus solely on your breath and not whatever is making you want to cry.
    • Even taking just one deep breath can steady you when you are faced with something that makes you want to cry. Draw one deep breath in, hold it for a moment, and then let it back out. In that moment, focus only on the air going in and out of your lungs. Taking this deep breath will also give you a moment to pause before you have to deal with the cause of your sadness.
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      Move your eyes to control your tears. If you are in a situation that is making you want to cry, but you don’t want to show your emotions to others, moving your eyes can help you to control those tears. Blink a few times to clear your eyes of any tears.
      • Cross your eyes or roll them several times. Of course, you may only want to do this when you know that no one is looking at you. Aside from mentally distracting yourself (you have to focus to cross your eyes) it will also physically keep the tears from forming.
      • Close your eyes. Closing your eyes gives you a moment to process what is happening. Closing your eyes paired with taking several deep breaths will help you to calm down and focus on not crying.
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      Distract yourself with a physical movement. When you are on the verge of tears, it is important to get your mind onto other things. Physically distracting yourself is one way to keep yourself from crying.[2]
      • Bite your lip, pinch yourself or squeeze your hands together. Note that you should never pinch yourself or bite your lip so hard that it is truly painful--you should only lightly pinch or bite so as to distract yourself from whatever is making you cry.
      • Find something to squeeze, be it a stress toy, a pillow, a part of your shirt, or a loved ones hand.
      • Press your tongue to the roof of your mouth or up against your teeth.
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      Remove the lump in your throat. One of the hardest parts of trying to hold in your tears is getting rid of the lump in your throat that forms when something makes you want to cry. When your body registers that you are under stress, one of the ways the autonomic nervous system reacts is to open up the glottis, which is the muscle control the opening from the back of the throat to the voice box. When the glottis is opened, it makes it feel like there is a lump in your throat when you try to swallow.[3]
      • Take a sip of water to release the tension caused by the glottis being opened up. Sipping water will relax your throat muscles (and calm your nerves.)
      • If you don’t have water on hand, breath steadily and swallow slowly several times. Breathing will help you relax, and swallowing slowly will help tell your body that it doesn’t need to keep the glottis open.
      • Yawn. Yawning helps to relax your throat muscles, which means that it helps ease the tightness you feel in your throat when you glottis is opened.

    Method 2 of 4: Mentally Stopping Yourself from Crying

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      Think of something that you can focus entirely on. For example, do math problems in your head. Emotion comes from the left side of the brain. Doing even simple addition and subtraction activates the right side of your brain and can circumvent the emotional response you're having. Repeating the times tables is a good way to mentally distract yourself.
      • Alternatively, you could try to think of the lyrics to your favourite song. Remembering the words and singing the song in your head will take your mind off whatever is bothering you. Try to imagine the words to a happy song so you give yourself a mental pick-me-up.
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      Think of something funny. While it may seem hard to do in the face of whatever is making you want to cry, thinking of something funny can really help you overcome your tears. Think of something that has made you laugh really hard in the past--a funny memory, a scene from a movie, or a joke you heard once.[4]
      • Try to smile when thinking of this funny thing. Smiling releases endorphins that could make you feel better.
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      Remind yourself that you are a strong individual. Giving yourself a mental pep-talk when you feel like you are on the verge of tears can help you overcome your desire to cry. Tell yourself that it is ok to feel sad, but that you cannot feel sad right now. Remind yourself of the reasons you cannot cry at that moment--you don’t want to cry in front of people you don’t know, or you want to be strong for someone else, etc. Tell yourself that you will let yourself feel sad, but that you need to hold it together for that moment.
      • Remember that you are a great person, who has friends and family who love you. Think of what you have achieved in your life, as well as what you hope to achieve in the future.
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      Distract yourself by engaging in something else. The worst thing you could do would be to dwell upon whatever is making you want to cry, especially when you want to keep yourself from crying. Distracting yourself is a temporary way to keep yourself from crying--but know that at some point you will have to face whatever is bothering you.
      • Put on a movie that you have been wanting to watch (or an old classic that you really love.) If movies aren’t your thing, grab your favorite book or put on an episode of your favorite TV show.
      • Go for a walk to clear your head. Often, being in nature is a great way to distract yourself--invest yourself fully in appreciating the beauty around you and try to avoid thinking of whatever is making you sad.
      • Exercise. Exercising releases endorphins and will make you feel great even when you are in the darkest of moods. Exercising also makes you focus on what you are doing, rather than how you are feeling.

    Method 3 of 4: Getting Away with a Few Tears

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      Blame your tears on something else. While people around you may see through your white lie, telling it may still help to calm you down.
      • Say you have been having really bad allergies. This is a classic excuse for having tears in your eyes--allergies make your eyes watery and red.
      • Yawn and then say something like, “yawing always makes my eyes water.”
      • Say you think you are getting sick. Often, when people get sick their eyes become glassy. Saying you feel sick also gives you a good excuse to leave the setting you are in.
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      Dry your tears discreetly. If you can’t help but shed a few tears, wiping them away discreetly is the next best thing to keeping yourself from crying.
      • Pretend that you're trying to get something out of the corner of your eye, then wipe along the bottom and wipe the tears off the edge. Pressing your index finger lightly into the inside corner of your eye will also help to dab away the tears.
      • Pretend you’re sneezing and put your face into the inside of your elbow (so that you can wipe your tears on your arm.) If you can’t fake sneeze just say " false alarm."
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      Remove yourself from the situation. This does not necessarily mean storming out of the room--even taking a step back from whatever is causing you to want to cry will help you to control your tears. By taking a step back, you are distancing yourself both physically and mentally from the problem. Pair taking a step back with the breathing techniques listed above. As you take a step back, breath in deeply and then exhale just as deeply. You will find that you will feel less inclined to cry.[5]

    Method 4 of 4: Letting It Out and Moving On

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    Let yourself cry. Sometimes you just have to let it out and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Crying is a completely natural thing that everyone--really everyone--does. Even if you keep yourself from crying in the moment by following one of the steps listed above, you will need to let yourself feel sad at some point. Find a quiet place where you can be alone and let yourself have a good, long cry.
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    Examine why you want to cry or are crying. Once you find the reason behind your tears, you will be able to analyze it more fully and come up with a resolution or a way to make yourself feel better.
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    Write in a journal or diary. Writing your thoughts down will help you to sort them out. Even making lists of the things that make you sad will help you to sort out your thoughts about them.
    • If a specific person has made you want to cry, try writing them a letter. Writing down what you feel can often be easier than saying your thoughts out loud. Even if you don’t give the person the letter, you will feel better after having expressed what you have been feeling and thinking.
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    Talk to someone. After you have let yourself cry, you should talk to someone about what you are experiencing. Talk to a close friend, family member, or therapist about whatever is making you want to cry. As the saying goes, two heads are better than one, and the person you talk to will help you resolve the challenges you are facing.
    • Talking to someone will also allow you to feel like you are not alone in the situation. If you feel like you are carrying around the weight of the world, talk to someone and let them help you sort out what you are thinking and feeling.
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    Distract yourself with things you love. Even if you feel like you will never be able to fully engage in the world around you because you are so sad, you will soon find that you are actually having fun and laughing.
    • Surround yourself with people that make you happy. Do fun things that you like to do like going hiking, painting, etc. Go to a party and meet new people, or dress up with your friends and throw your own party. Immerse yourself in activities--filling up your time is a great way to distract yourself from feeling sad.
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    Stay positive. If you have had something happen that makes you want to cry all the time, know that it is okay to cry and that it is actually a positive thing to let your emotions out. Keep in mind that just because something sad has happened doesn’t mean you need to let it control your life. 
  8. Tips

  9. Gritting your teeth may help you control your tears if you are in a public place. Once you've calmed down, think of why you cried and who made you cry.
  10. Talk about why you're upset to the person that's actually caused it in a calm manner.
  11. Let it out even if your friends are watching they WILL understand.
  12. Take a deep breath, close your eyes, lay down, and relax.
  13. Think of something soothing and happy from your childhood.
  14. Read or talk to someone about ways to help you to control your emotions and try putting these systems in place.
  15. Don't keep things bottled inside.
  16. If you just can't hold it in, it's OK! Sometimes there's just no stopping tears--let them out!
  17. A hug from a friend or family member can be very comforting.
  18. Sitting or standing straighter may make you feel more confident and strong, which may help you hold back tears.
  19. Warnings

  20. If you're thinking of hurting yourself or others, seek immediate help.
  21. If you feel like you don't have someone to talk to, seek professional help. Go to your school counselor or to a therapist. There will always be someone willing to listen.


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