How Do You Know If You Are in Love?

culled from:http://youqueen.com

It seems like every time I meet someone new, I end up giving my heart to him. Of course, it has taken me years to be able to determine if it’s actually love or just the confused emotions that come along with having great sex.
You know the feeling, right? Lust is the best, but it can also be pretty confusing. My libido has fogged my brain more often than I care to admit, and let me tell you, that hurts just as much as a broken heart.
But how do you know when it’s really love? How can you tell the difference between those confused emotions and the real thing? Sometimes it isn’t all that easy. There are even times when you’re in love, but he is not, which is even more confusing. And painful.
Is it love or lust? Is he Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now? How do you know if you are in love? Here’s the answer:

#1 Your Heart Feels Like a Piece Is Missing Without Him

You look around and he isn’t there…and something just doesn’t feel right.

One of the surest signs that you’re in love is that when he’s gone, your heart feels like a piece is missing. When it’s just lust, your body reacts and you feel sexually frustrated; when it really is love,  your heart is empty without him.
When you love someone, he makes you feel complete. There’s never a question about it, you’re just whole whenever he’s around.

#2 You Are Happy All the Time

Many women equate love with misery. That’s how it works in old-fashioned romance novels, right? The heroine is always pining away after a lover who remains just out of reach.
Here’s a clue: Unhappiness is never a sign of love. When you’re in love, you are happy about everything! You feel good about life, you love your job, you love your friends, and you love yourself more.
Most of all, whenever the object of your affection is around, you glow! Lust makes you sad, love makes you happy. That is an easy way to tell the difference.

#3 You Don’t Give Up So Easily

Have you ever done the math, cut your losses and ended a relationship because it just wasn’t working, even though you loved the guy? That wasn’t love.
Every relationship goes through periods of drama and petty disagreements. He’s not perfect, and you…well, I’m guessing you already know you’re no angel. What matters is what you do during those times. When the going gets tough, I’ve been known to get going. It’s so tempting to throw in the towel out of sheer annoyance, even if the disagreements aren’t about anything really serious.
That’s the difference between love and a crush. When you’re truly in love, you don’t give up so easily. You don’t give up on a moment’s notice, you don’t quit at the first disagreement and you definitely don’t end it over small annoyances. Loving someone means accepting him in the good times and the bad. Arguments end. Love is forever.

#4 He Makes You Feel Like You’re Home

Something in his eyes makes you want to lose yourself in his arms.

There’s no other way to say this: When you’re in love, the guy you care for is your home. He feels like home and he smells like home to you. No matter where you are, as long as you have the comfort of this man, then you’re automatically in the place you want to be.
Did you ever hear Bonnie Raitt sing Randy Newman’s “Feels Like Home”? Check it out on YouTube. That’s true love.

#5 You Risk a Broken Heart

If you’re really in love, you’re in danger of having your heart broken. When you love someone, you realize that he is worth the risk. Love is not a guarantee. There’s no promise he’ll return those feelings or that he will continue to love you…and you know it. But you love him anyway. You risk your heart for him. Because love is worth the risk.
With the last man I loved, I knew what kind of risk I was taking. There was no doubt in my mind that I was in love with him, and I also knew that he did not love me in return. Why did I continue the relationship? I loved him. My heart took control. I couldn’t imagine life without him. I knew it was likely to be temporary, and I knew that my heart would likely be broken, but I had no choice. Heartbreak is a terrible feeling, but there is nothing like the thrill and fulfillment of taking that risk anyway.

#6 You Don’t Even Look at Other Guys

I know when I’m in love when I stop looking at other guys.
I’ll be the first to admit that I check out every man I see. I will find something to ogle in any good-looking guy, whether it’s his biceps or his gorgeous brown eyes or the way his jeans hug his tight ass. I’m lustful that way. I don’t always act on those impulses, of course. But I do enjoy the eye candy.
Until I’m in love, that is. One of the first signs I’ve fallen for a guy is that my imagination goes all monogamous on me. When I can look at a gorgeous guy without imagining him shirtless, then I know I’m in love!
I don’t decide not to look at the FedEx guy or the barista at my neighborhood java bar. It just happens. It turns out that I’m relentlessly monogamous when I’m in love…even visually monogamous.

#7 You’re More Giving

One of the best things about being in love is that you want everyone around you to share your happiness. I find myself much more generous with friends, family, even strangers. I give up seats on the bus and drop change into buskers’ guitar cases. I want to live in a world in which everyone is as happy as I am.
When people are in love, they are happy and they feel better about themselves. They’re also more generous to the people around them. If you pay close attention, you’ll see that hand-holding, smiling couples are the people most likely to share money with homeless people or donate spare change to charity. When you’re in love, your heart opens up and you feel like being more generous to everyone else on the planet.
One sure sign: You don’t lose your cool even when another driver cuts you off in traffic.

#8 You Aim to Please Him

Does it make you happy to see your man happy? Face it, girl: You’re in love.

Another way to know that you’re really and truly in love is that you aim to please him. Everything you do is for him! You want him to be happy because it makes you happy to see him that way. His smile is your reward.
If you do any of these little things for your man, there’s a good chance you’re in love:

• You cook his favorite meals for him and make sure he’s eating right.
• You volunteer to do his laundry.
• You change perfumes because of a random comment you remember him making about a particular scent.
• You make a point of wearing his favorite color or an outfit that he once complimented.
• You buy and wear uncomfortable, impractical lingerie because it turns him on.
• You’re there for him at ungodly hours of the early morning because he needs you.

It sometimes seems that we lose a bit of ourselves when we fall in love and find ourselves adapting to another’s needs and preferences. But we’re building a new identify at the same time, an identity as a member of a couple. It’s a risk, but it is also thrilling and deeply rewarding.

#9 It’s Not About the Sex

One of the surest signs that you’re in love is that it is not about the sex. You might be having amazing sex with this guy, but you’re just as happy to be wrapped comfortably in his arms. If you find yourself cuddling for the sake of cuddling, you’re probably in love.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m a firm believer that love and lust go hand in hand. But you can be in love even without sleeping with the guy, though I don’t recommend it.
I’m sure you want to sleep with him. After all, when you’re in love sex is the best way to express your feelings. But you don’t make hopping the sack the top priority when it’s real love. There will be time enough for great sex later. For now, snuggle up and watch the late show.

#10 His Happiness Is Your Top Priority

The biggest thing I’ve learned about love is that being in love means his happiness is the most important thing, even if it means helping him move on and find someone who is a better match for him than you are.
The last man I loved was still very much in love with someone else. I knew that from the start, and I tried my hardest not to fall for him. I did anyway. When it was time for him to move on, my heart ached. I wanted to call and text him every day! I wanted to beg him to come back to me. But I didn’t.
I knew that he needed to move on. It was something he had to do for himself. I also knew that there was no room for me in his new life. I wished him the best of luck, said my goodbyes and let him go. His happiness was more important to me than my own need to have him near.