How to talk to women – the dos and don’ts

culled from:http://www.telegraph.co.uk

The most original (and therefore most effective) chat-up attempt I ever witnessed was between two fellow passengers on a train.

We were approaching our final destination and stood up to queue by the train doors, as British people feel compelled to do. A man casually leaned over to a girl who’d walked across from the opposite carriage and asked, “Have you had lunch?” She looked slightly taken aback (hardly surprising, considering there was absolutely no preamble) and said “Pardon?” He replied, “Well, it’s lunchtime and I just wondered if you have had yours yet.”

After confirming she hadn’t, he continued: “Shall we go and get lunch together, then? I think it might be fun.” She looked at him with a mixture of bewilderment and awe before smilingly accepting. His bravado paid off.

Don’t spend ages psyching yourself up. Feel the fear and do it anyway I fully concede that, for men, chatting up women must be absolutely terrifying. Girls chatting up men (simply because of the relative novelty of the situation) are almost guaranteed a cheerful refusal at the very least… But the prospect of rejection is much greater for chaps who are attempting to break the ice with someone whose evening has already been interrupted by aspiring Romeos. This has the potential to turn what should be a pleasant social interaction into an ordeal.

However, it needn’t be. Courtesy of a straw poll of my single female friends, here are some tips to help you woo that woman.
1 Do not attempt actual chat-up lines unless they are super-witty and relatively unused, as they always sound cheesy and a little desperate.
2 Before approaching someone, bear in mind that if a chat-up line seems inappropriate/borderline offensive/really lame when sober, this remains the case several pints into your evening.
3 You are probably nervous (and we do understand this), but try to smile. Approaching someone with a steely look of intense determination is a bit scary.
4 Remember, that “hilarious” mate who insists on insulting a woman to get her interest won’t get you anywhere. We didn’t enjoy it when you were pulling our pigtails in the playground and nothing has changed.
5 To avoid sounding sleazy, make a reference to whatever is going on around you. Better still, ask her opinion on something, whether it’s a nearby picture, the crowd or the band. However, talking about the weather and what she’s drinking is too dull.
6 Resist the temptation to send your mate over. We enjoy someone confident enough to do their own flirting, thank you very much.
7 Courtesy of my ethnic minority friends, please do not ask her where she is from. The reasons why you should not are a subject for a different article. Just take our word for it.
8 Say something that suggests you are actually attracted to her, not just making your way to the bar. I was once told by a man that he couldn’t take his eyes off me all night because I looked like such an interesting person, so he had to come over and talk to me. (It worked and I don’t even care that it probably wasn’t true).
9 Most importantly, don’t spend ages psyching yourself up. Feel the fear and do it anyway. We don’t bite, unless you ask us very nicely. Though perhaps that shouldn’t be attempted as a first line either.