Small Clouds That Will Create a Storm in Your Relationship

culled from:http://youqueen.com

When you first meet someone, you are awestruck – he’s gorgeous, kind, and oh so exciting. Everything feels fabulous. The relationship seems perfect. Before you know it, things might change though. Slowly…so slow you don’t even see it happening until one day you wake up and nothing feels right anymore.
You still love him and he still loves you, but the relationship has fallen flat. The small unthreatening clouds by the horizon have darkened the whole sky. There was no thunder, no forewarning, no major storm. So what went wrong? Well, here are a few things you need to look out for unless you want to lose a man who could be the best thing that ever happened to you.

#1 Berating Each Other

When you first met, you couldn’t stop telling people how amazing he was – from his smile to the way he treated the dogs. Now you can’t help but cracking jokes about how bad his cooking is, or that one time when he slipped on the wet floor in the supermarket and accidentally knocked down a whole display of chocolate.
Seeing life with a dash of humor is great. Making fun of each other can be great, too. Just make sure that you never stop looking for the things you love and admire in each other. When you are out with friends, or family, ensure that you talk about these things – that you show off each other. Even when home alone, take time to remember why you fell for each other in the first place and say your praise out loud. If you don’t want to lose what you have, make sure to compliment the other person, respect them and treat them with the admiration they deserve.
How you decide to think about a person will also greatly affect how you feel about them – talking about the sexy beast of a man you are dating is very different from talking about the clumsy guy who knocked down a chocolate display in the supermarket. One will make you lust for a certain sexy beast, the other will make you laugh at a silly guy.

#2 Spending No Time Apart

It’s great living together. It can even be great working together. Still, to be able to miss someone you have to be away from them. To maintain your zest and personality, you need time on your own. You need to know you are still able to dazzle the world standing on your own two legs – you need that confidence. Otherwise, instead of being attracted to each other, you start needing one another. There’s a difference.
So, make sure you spend an evening or two every week and at least one full day every month doing your own thing. Also, do a couple of days away from each other every few months. Then come back hungry for each other…and live out that passion and longing!

#3 Sweatpants and Comfy Lifestyle Addiction

Most people prefer wearing comfy clothes at home and that can sometimes be sexy – nothing cozier than cuddling up with a guy when he’s wearing his old college hoody, after all. Besides, seeing someone relaxed and just being themselves is incredibly sexy. Just make sure you treat each other too by flaunting your best sides to each other.
Once a week, or once every other week, do something to impress the other – dress up to your nines and actually do something you think will win the other person over. Just because you are a couple doesn’t mean you don’t have to win your partner over. Of course you do. For the relationship to last, you have to win their heart every single day; don’t forget that.

#4 No Talking

When we first meet someone, we talk about everything. We want to know their life story, their secrets, their dreams, their sex fantasies… When we have dated for a while, we take for granted that we know it all. We stop asking questions, stop finding out. We forget that our partner is a forever changing person whom we will never fully know. It’s only too easy talking about nothing whilst reading the paper or doing the dishes.
Just as you have to remember to win someone over every day, you have to remember to get to know them every day. Stop. Look them in the eye. Ask them how they are really doing. Ask them if their dreams are still the same. See them, truly see them, and truly listen to what they are saying. Likewise, share what’s really going on in your heart and mind.

#5 The Little Things Around the House

It seems as silly as anything, but always leaving your dirty dishes on the table or throwing your laundry on the floor might eventually lead to a lot of unhappiness. If your partner hates your dirty laundry on the floor and you hate how they never ever remember to take out the rubbish, somewhere you both feel you are being disrespected. Clearly you don’t care about your partner if you disrespect his wish to have a nice, clean bedroom free of dirty laundry and he disrespects you by always leaving the rubbish, forcing you to take it out every time.
Know what kind of home you would really love to have and set about creating that. Give each other some slack, but don’t grow lazy.

#6 Living the Ordinary Life

Routine is great. You probably need it to function on a day-to-day basis. Besides, there are things we love and we will do them time and time again because that’s who we are. However, if your life becomes one long routine with no disruptions, you will feel like you’ve stagnated. Likewise, if you, as a couple, always do the same things together, you will grow bored.
Explore new things together. Learn new things together. Go new places together. Get some adventure into your relationship. Adrenaline and adventure will give you that “just fallen in love” feeling.

#7 Expressing Love in All the Wrong Ways

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Some people express love through touch, some through compliments, and others through gifts. We all understand love differently, too – some will understand the compliments, others the gifts. To be able to have a happy relationship, you have to express love in a way your partner understands and they have to express love in a way you understand.
Do yourself a favor and read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman to find out what your and your partner’s love languages are and then go about learning to communicate love in a way your partner understands.
Likewise, you have to learn to communicate each other’s languages in the bedroom…this should be a fun language to learn, however. Just make sure to really talk about it. No one will know what the other loves without asking a few questions.

#8 Distrust

No one is 100% trustworthy because no one knows 100% how to deal with life. There are things that throw us all and make us act in ways we couldn’t foresee. However, if you are to build a happy relationship with another person, you have to be willing to trust them. Even if events throw them from time to time, you have to trust that they are the kind of person who will find their way back to their heart and honor – otherwise you shouldn’t be in a relationship with them. What good will it do you dating someone you know can’t be trusted?
Choose your partner wisely, but once you have made your choice respect them by trusting them and supporting them with that trust. Allow them to go off on their own. Allow yourself to share your heart and vulnerability with them. Allow them to make the decisions they need to make. Allow yourself to share your needs in the bedroom. Have faith that they will act with the integrity you know they have.