Wednesday, 11 February 2015

culled from:

I’ll be the first to tell you ladies, I’m tired of being single. That’s right, I’m tired of lonely nights watching movies by myself, I’m tired of seeing couples walk around holding hands while I strive to not burst into tears, and I’m tired of not getting some physical action on a regular basis (or any basis for that matter).
However, I’m even more tired of bad dates, men with drama, getting pretty just to be stood up, and pining for men who loved centuries ago (because modern men just aren’t making the cut in my opinion). Still, if you’re like me, you long for love. You still believe in love, and you still ache for it somewhere deep inside.
It’ll come, love always finds a way. The question is what do you do in the meantime?
First of all, you stop focusing on love and start focusing on yourself. A friend once told me that the best way to live my life is to imagine I’ll never fall in love and just keep on living. It was the best advice I’ve ever been given. Instead of being “single” just “be”. Here’s how to enjoy your life and how to learn to love…you.

1. Get to know yourself

There are tons of things I’m still finding out about myself. For example, I really don’t think I’m cut out for the military. Seriously, I’ve always wanted to be in the National Guard, but I went to band camp last week for like four hours and nearly collapsed.
That was BAND camp! I know I’m not military material. However, I also found out last week that I make awesome rum balls, so you win some you lose some. Spend your single life getting to know yourself. There’s never a dull moment.

2. Travel

Young woman picking the place on map and drinking coffee
The thing that worries me most about getting into a relationship is not being able to travel. I’m worried I’ll get settled in with a man who has no intention of leaving this city and gets sick on airplanes or hates to travel. The thought terrifies me! I love travelling. Correction, I love travelling by plane or boat.
Anyway, I have every intention of taking a vacation this year. I’ve never been to New Orleans, or Quebec, and I miss San Antonio…let’s not forget all the places overseas I’d love to visit! While I’m single I’ll be travelling. You should take the time and do the same before you CAN’T!

3. Eat out

beautiful woman having a lunch at the restaurant alone
Do you order a lot of pizza? Do you hate eating alone so you just make yourself something at home to eat (cereal, right?). Me too. Except…I really like food. I mean really like food. I’ve learned that in order to experience a good meal or a cool bar, I have to sometimes go by myself. It’s actually much, much better going alone!
First, you can order whatever you want without worrying about the tab (because you’re paying anyway, not some guy you don’t really know). Second, there’s no awkward conversation while you’re trying to chew your food. Third, you can stay or leave whenever you like (bonus: the staff is usually much friendlier to you if you’re eating alone). Go out!!!

4. Join some clubs

There are clubs for just about everyone, and joining a club is not only a great way to discover more about yourself, but it’s also a great way to make new friends and have someone to hang out with. Libraries often have book clubs, you can also find networking clubs through Facebook and other social media places. It’s easy to find a club, so join in on the fun.

5. Check off your bucket list

Writing the bucket list in the notebook
Do you have a bucket list? I do. It’s about a mile long, too! Now’s the time to start checking off some of those items, ladies. Remember, you’re single…there’s nobody to tell you this “isn’t a good idea”, there’s nobody telling you that you can’t go away without them, and there’s nobody whining about your bucket list items. You get to do this one on your own! The freedom, the joy!!!

6. Date for fun

You’re single, you’re not dead. Why not go out and date for fun? It’s okay to get some action; do you think your future husband is being celibate for you? Doubtful. Even if you’re not looking for Mr. Right (or you just can’t seem to find him), it’s okay to live your life and have fun. Besides, if you can’t be with the one you love…love the one you’re with.

7. Take a class

You have plenty of time to enlighten yourself, so do it! Take a class. Sit in on one of the local college courses. For example, I would love to sit in on an American History class, an Italian Language class, or an Aviation class, or something like that. Why not get your brain going? Plus, you’ll learn more about yourself and what interests you.

8. Find a new obsession

Three full shelves of books
I find a new obsession every few months. No, not a hobby, hobbies are pretty tame…I mean outright OBSESSION! For example, I got the brilliant idea of being a drummer, so I took cheap lessons, bought a drum, and carried a set of drum sticks everywhere I went. I still do, really.
I got bumper stickers about drums, I got magazines about drums, and I’ve forced my friends to watch videos of me drumming (badly). I did the same with Roller Derby (except the classes, I haven’t made it to a class yet). I love being obsessed about something.
My current obsession…the Revolutionary War. Books, posters, art, TV shows…you name it. Believe me, an obsession will keep you thoroughly busy and highly entertained.

9. Try different looks

Have you looked the same since middle school? With the exception of an extra fifty pounds, I do look the same as I did in middle school, which is why I’m trying to change my look. Nothing drastic, I’m not going to shave my head or go Emo or something, but I do need more style and a different hairdo.
I bet your look could use an update, too. Try something new and daring! If it isn’t you, then go back to your comfort zone (like I will), but at least give it a try.

10. Relax

Beautiful young woman relaxing in the bathtub
Did I mention you need to relax? No, really, while you’re single you should just relax. Love happens, it will happen to you. Stop worrying, stop stressing about it and thinking that your friends have it good since they have a boyfriend.
Trust me, that guy is probably controlling the television and eating all her ice-cream. Relax and enjoy not having to share. Make good use of being able to please yourself and do whatever it is you want to do. You won’t be able to when you’re not single anymore, right?
How are you improving yourself in your single days? Do you have any advice? If you do, leave it in the comment section below and help your fellow gals.


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