Thursday 29 January 2015


culled from:
So the two of you have been together forever and he still hasn’t popped the question. What’s a girl to do? You give him an ultimatum in hopes that it will spur him to want to get married, or perhaps you back your bags and leave, hoping that he will be knocking at your doorstep with a wedding proposal.

If you are yearning for the privilege of being someone’s wife, but it just isn’t happening, you’re not alone. Countless women are still waiting for the ring, as much as 10 years down the road. “When a man says he isn’t ready to get married, believe him!”  According to Expert, Julie Spira. “Often a woman thinks if she waits around long enough, he’ll realize that she’s the one he wants to marry.”

Some women do just that. They’ll wait for the holidays or Valentine‘s day to come around, waiting for him to pop the question, only to hear crickets. Ultimately, they wonder if they should leave or give him another chance. “I know of many situations where women have waited for three years for their man to commit, states Spira. Every Christmas or New Year’s she’d wait for the ring to arrive, and when it didn’t, she had to decide whether to break up or give him another extension,” she says. “Those were bad patterns being set. When a man feels it for you, realizes his life is so much better because of you, and doesn’t want to lose you, he’ll suddenly go from being a commitment-phobe to the marrying kind.”

As devastating as it is to find out that you waited 8 years only to find out he got married 2 months later after your breakup, it all boils down him being ready when he’s ready. It’s a sad situation to be in but you’re not alone.

Here are 4 ways to tell if he isn’t planning on proposing anytime soon and if it’s time to call it quits.
#1) He Doesn’t Talk About Getting Married

This one should be obvious but if he isn’t even broaching what-if’s or rhetorical questions of how it would it would be if the both of you tied the knot, then he’s probably not planning to get married to you-at least anytime soon.

Before you order that moving truck, make sure that he doesn’t bring up marriage because he’s never thought about it or perhaps because it’s usually the woman who tends to broach the subject most of the time. Some men do require more prodding an convincing than others, so it’s up to you to make sure if whether or not he actually wants marriage and hasn’t brought it up or is simply complacent about it.

On the other hand, there are the types who don’t bring up matrimony and do not care to continue to discuss it, even after you’ve given him clues. One way to tell is if you ask a question about marriage and he gives you a short, snarky answer. Perhaps you bring it up in casual conversation, then he quickly changes the subject. This is how you’ll know if he’s simply not ready or he just doesn’t want it to be you.

#2) Marriage Isn’t a Priority

Sometimes it’s a good idea to get all of your things in order before getting married, such as making sure that he or she is the one, certain finances and debts are out of the way and other pre-marital issues. For some couples, marriage isn’t priority and both people are happy.

It’s also the way that he reacts to the topic of marriage that should give you pause. If he is enjoying his bachelor lifestyle then you should move on. There’s not reason to stick with someone that you hope to marry someday, yet they thing otherwise.

Marriage means being “tied down” to some men some years down the road, their opinions change for the better. However, if his idea of marriage is the “ball and chain” version, do you really want to have to feel like you dragged him down the aisle? He should find it a privilege to be your husband.

#3) You Haven’t Met His Relatives

It’s normal for a couple to not meet the parents until the relationship has been established, but not after 2+ years of being together. If the two of you are going on year 5 and all you’ve heard was a mere “hello” from his mother on the phone, then this is pretty much all you’re going to get out of the relationship.

People who are in love want their significant other to be part of the family. Normally this includes meeting said family members-in person. So if you find yourself alone, with girlfriends, or your own family over the duration of important holidays and events then look forward to being left in the dark about everything as the long as you two are an item.

#4) He Has No Interest In Your Future Plans

Usually when a guy is interested in you, he wants to get to know more about you. Just because you are in a relationship doesn’t mean that is the be all end all to getting to know each other. The point of being in one is so that the two of you  can experience challenges, problems, face the world and grow together. Perhaps your dream is to become a surgeon, well he should be ecstatic at the thought of you passing your MCAT exams.

On the other hand, if he doesn’t seem to show the slightest interest in your dreams and passions then he isn’t interested in getting to know you better. It’s better to get rid of and find someone that actually wants to hear what you have to say.

Of course, don’t dump him just because he happens to not be listening lately. Maybe he’s stressed out and his mind is in a fog. However, if this is a regular occurrence and there is no hope for change, then he isn’t the one.

Marriage is a big deal, as it should be. Sometimes we might get cold feet at the prospects of the future, but there is a difference between misgivings between you and your partner and him just flat out being nonchalant about the ideals of longterm commitment. Keep these signs stored in the back of your mind, whenever you and your boyfriend talk about marriage.

Have you ever had to dump someone because you wanted to get married and they didn’t, or the other way around? How did you or they handle it? Sometimes, pushing someone into something that they don’t want to do can put a wedge between the both of you. Let’s hear your thoughts on the matter!


Post a Comment