Friday, 27 February 2015

A couple getting engaged

culled from:pulse.ng

So, if you've found 'The One' and you two are already planning to tie the knot, there are certain issues you need to clear up before making that bold step.



Many singles look forward to the day they will say "I do" the one they love with all their heart and soul.
As sweet as marriage may seem, it requires a lot of hard work and dedication to keep it strong and make it last 'forever'.
So, if you've found 'The One' and you two are already planning to tie the knot, there are certain issues you need to clear up before making that bold step.
Here are seven important things couples need to talk about before getting married:
  1. Introduce spirituality into the relationship early: The issue of intimacy is one that has resulted in serious debates over the years. In these modern times, sex before marriage is okay, but spiritually, it isn't. You two need to agree early on whether you want to go ahead and include sex in your relationship or not. This will prevent any misunderstanding from arising on this same issue later on in your relationship.
  2. Talk openly about money: One of the things that destroys marriages easily is money. You and your spouse to be have to completely be on the same page on this one. Do you have any pending debts that may follow you into marriage? Do you share the same view about credit cards or not? These are some of the important things that needs to be clarified.
  3. Talk honestly about your likes and dislikes: You have to realize that the two of you are coming from different families, with different backgrounds, and therefore, you will not always agree on the same thing or like what the other does. Ask yourselves what things or issues get you really upset. Also, talk honestly about your feelings for each other. Why do you love your partner? If that quality no exists in them, would you still love them?
  4. Learn to stop criticizing your partner: Constructive criticisms can help make a person better, but always pointing out their flaws at every giving opportunity will only tear them apart. Learn to stop highlighting your partners mistakes and making a big deal out of them. Rather, talk to him/her frankly and lovingly on how to curb their excesses, and correct them politely when there's need for you to.
  5. Conflict resolution: Both of you need to agree on the best methods to handle conflict in the home. Will you need counselling to go through every difficult patch or will your rather resolve your issues together? Will you settle your problems when they occur or would you wait till a later time to address them?
  6. Having children: In Nigeria, children are regarded as a compulsory part of marriage. This however, does not mean you cannot decide not to have them. That's a decision that is up to you and your partner, but needs to be decided before you get married. How many children will you have? How soon will you have them? These need to be properly settled before you sign the dotted lines and become Mr and Mrs.
  7. Talk about the future: The wedding is just one day, but the marriage is an entire lifetime. Do you two have shared dreams? What are your plans for the next five years or so? You and your partner must be in complete agreement on how your future home will be run.

11 comments:

  1. Adegoke Saheed Kolade:
    Truly, before going finally into marriage, the two partners should endeavor have a clear understanding of themselves so as to avoid crashing out of marital life after marriage.
    That is, all their do and don't should be clearly analyzed. and as regards to money issues, the way in which their money will be spent on wedding should be made known to each other.

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  2. This is a great article that every young guys and ladies should be mindful of to have a good marital life, trust and transparency is also impotartant.
    AZEEZ NOFISAT OMOKUNMI

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  3. wedding just a day while is life entity, in the sense before getting married, the couple must know each other and prepare ahead. the article makes us know things before finally getting married.

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  4. THIS IS SOMETHING COUPLES NEED TO TAKE NOTE OF TO ENSURE THE SMOOTH RUNNING OF THEIR MARRIAGE.
    OJEDOKUN DAMILOLA ELIZABETH.

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  5. udoh rebecca paul
    this article has opened my eyes to see reasons why couples need to have a conversation before marraige

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  6. bolaji femi stephen
    most people see relationships as time to have sex forgetting its actually time to talk.this article has given a lot of reasons why couples need to talk because a failed relationship is better than a failed marriage.

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  7. if we want more successful marriages ,i feel we either need to read lots of articles of this type, or visit a marriage councellor.

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  8. ADELEKE BEATRICE OMOLOLA
    Wedding is not what to rush into it because if you rush in you will garbage out,all what it entails is to be fervent in prayer put everything unto God's hand to take charge and be focus about your future

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  9. ADEDIRAN ADEBAYO EMMANUEL
    Its imperative that these things needs to be put into consideration when getting into a relationship as i beleive it would aid long lasting homes.

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  10. ADELEKE TOLULOPE SOLA

    Articles like dis should be read before gettin married for future purpose

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  11. marriage is the last stage of relationship which needs nothing but fairness and trustworthy.

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