How to Be a Leader

culled from:wikihow.com

Part 1 of 3: Thinking Like a Leader

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   Be confident. This step has nothing to do with actually knowing what you're doing -- as long as you're confident, few people will ask questions. People assume things, and when you act as if you belong, they assume you do. Therefore, when you are confident, they will naturally assume you know what you are doing. This gains you trust, responsibility, and respect.
   • Confidence can be had in any situation. Imagine saying, "I don't know the answer," while looking down, thumbs twiddling, and your legs fidgeting. Now imagine saying, "I don't know the answer," with your head up, your shoulders back, and looking the speaker in the eye. Not knowing something is fine -- just be confident that you don't know it! A lack of knowledge has nothing to do with your confidence (or ability to lead).
   
   
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      Be firm, but kind. Since you're leading, you're the one that needs to set the rules and boundaries. It's up to you to establish some system, rhyme and reason to the situation. To do so, you must be firm in your convictions and keep to your stance. However, being dictatorial will instigate a revolution. Be logical and understanding when you assert your rule.
      • Here's an example of poor leadership: An airline's forks kept disappearing and no one knew why. After an investigation, it was discovered the dishwashers were throwing them away because they couldn't get them adequately cleaned (and would thusly be reprimanded).^[1] If you're too dictatorial, your team will throw away your forks. Different management would have avoided this problem. So be kind and keep your entire cutlery.
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      Become an expert. Saying, "I don't know" as a leader is fine. Saying, "I don't know" repeatedly to every question you're asked is not. When you don't know something, find out the answer. Become an expert on what you need to be a pro in. Eventually, you'll have all the answers. You don't need them all right now, but you'll need each one eventually.
      • Having a certain level of knowledge will help you feel confident and more leader-esque. While you can do without it, it's a matter of time before someone else with more knowledge and charisma comes along and takes the title out from under your feet. So whatever, whoever you're looking to lead, start studying up! It'll pay off in the long run.
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      Be decisive. You're standing in a circle of a group of friends, debating on what to do that night. Everyone is dilly-dallying, complaining, nixing everyone else's ideas until one person finally steps up and says, "Guys, we're doing this." That person rose to the top, saw the situation needed direction, and took charge. Leader, leader, leader.
      • That being said, you have to know your place. There will be times when you have to make the decision yourself and times when you have to give the team time to form a consensus. Respect your followers -- what might happen if you veto their opinions? Which brings us to...
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      Care about your followers. Just because they are not leaders doesn't mean they are idiots. They'll be able to tell if you're compassionate and genuinely concerned for them. And if you're not, they'll chuck you off your pedestal. Remember who butters your bread! Without them, you have no one to lead and are a leader no longer.
      • Caring for them is not the same as acquiescing to their desires. You're leading (hopefully) because you know what's best for the team; they may not. Just because someone disagrees with you doesn't mean you have to give them what they want. Allow them to disagree with you, listen to their argument, and let them know why you think the way you do. Let them know you care, but are acting in the best way you see fit.
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      Believe that anyone can be a leader. Truth be told, everyone is looking to be led. Think of life as a dark path -- the more leaders you have, the more people are in front of you holding industrial strength flashlights. Which would you rather have? Not only do people want leaders, but also they are looking for them. For that reason, anyone can do it. You just got to fill the void.
      • Think about going to a new restaurant (the restaurant is life). You get a waiter that greets with you a smile and outlines the flavors of three of their best dishes, guarantees your satisfaction and tells you he'll personally whip up something else if you don't like it. Somewhere in your head, you are breathing a sigh of relief thinking, "Ahh. Yes. This will be a relaxing night -- I'm in good hands." That's what everyone wants in life (in most restaurants, too).

   Part 2 of 3: Acting Like a Leader

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      Keep your promises. You know how politicians are viewed as promise-breakers? Good. You also know how people hate politicians? Well, there you have it. Break your promises and you lose respect. Point blank. You can fit the suit, you can have all the charisma, and you can have the knowledge, but if you don't deliver on what you promised to deliver, the people will have you silver platter.
      • An integral part of keeping promises is knowing what's doable and what's not. If you can define between the two, the only other obstacle is being honest. Practice this with your kids, practice this with your teammates, and practice this at every opportunity. Developing a strong moral code removes room for those questioning your ability to lead and hold power.
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      Dress the part. If you walk into an office in a suit and tie, constantly glancing at your watch, people are going to assume you're waiting for some schmuck who's late for a business meeting. Walk into an office in a t-shirt and baseball cap and people will start wanting to know where their pizza is. If you want to lead, you gotta look the part.
      • There needs to be a distinction here between dressing to impress and dressing to influence. You don't necessarily want to dress to impress -- impressing may not be appropriate for the scenario you're in (if you are delivering pizzas, don't wear a suit, for example). You simply want to influence people's perceptions of you. What image do you want to give off? You can largely control what they perceive of you and your attitude by what you wear (sad, but true).
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      Treat your team well. Alright, so you know to care about your team, but you gotta follow it up with your actions. If you preach to your team to be cohesive, act like they're having fun, and be friendly with your clients but turn around and yell at them every 5 minutes when they crack a smile, you're not living out your message. Set forth a good, caring example, and they'll fall in line.
      • The old adage, "Do as I say, not as I do" is crap. It might have worked on you when you were 6 years old, but it will not work on a team of adults. They might not let you know explicitly, but they will be unhappy, eventually leave, and this will cut into your product. It may not have immediate repercussions, but eventually any hypocrisy on your part will catch up with you.
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      Show your commitment to your team's betterment. For your organization to grow, everyone has to get better. This has nothing to do with just you being great -- you have to make your team great. Ideally, the task will done and the team will say, "We did it!", not you exclaiming, "I did it!" It's about the whole of the group, not the one.
      • To grow your team, you have to pay attention to them. Forcing numbers and leaving them to figure out roles won't do them justice. Get to know them on an individual level and commit to them becoming more resourceful members of your group (what role do they fit best in? What resources could they use). Help them learn, help them grow, and help them take the reins when you need back up.
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      Ask questions. As a leader, you're sort of untouchable. People may not come to you because you're the big man of the organization. They don't want to pipe up and cause a ruckus. Know that you're dealing with a constant level of perceived intimidation that you need to break down. How do you do this? Ask questions first!
      • Don't wait for feedback from your team -- they may never offer it. After all, you're the one dictating how things are going; they may not think their opinion matters. Ask them how you're doing, how they're doing, and what they see to make the whole process better. Just because they're not leading doesn't mean they're not full of great ideas!
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      Lead only when you have to. A natural leader does not walk into a room and proclaim, "HERE I AM." It's not about grabbing a situation by the horns and molding it to your vision, no, not at all. It's about seeing that something needs to be done and rising to the occasion.
      • In most situations, no leader will be titled as such. It's just a position that someone naturally gravitates to. People will not grant you the outright privilege, but they can keep you from having it. Avoid coming off as a dominant, who-does-he-think-he-is go-getter and wait for the right moment. You'll feel it.
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      Start "seeing" more than "doing." As you have probably started gathering, being a leader is more of an innate quality than a series of actions. To lead a situation, you need to see it arising, see how you can help it, and see the path it's going down. Let your team take care of the doing. You just gotta have a vision.
      • This is similar to "the one who yells loudest gets heard." Just because that person is loud certainly doesn't mean they're right. You don't have to be going 90 mph leaving a trail of rubble behind you to be a good leader. Actually, you shouldn't be doing that. Your time should be spent interpreting, molding, and offering solutions.

   Part 3 of 3: Putting It All Together

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   Identify a problem. Look around and find ways to make the world a better place. Observe your surroundings and listen to people. How can you help? What challenged has yet to be answered? What could use organization?
   • Discover what your talents are, develop them, and focus on applying them towards making a difference. What problems would your talents be best suited for? Think of problems in the broader sense - they're not always easy to define.
   • Look for needs, niches, conflicts, gaps that need to be filled, and inefficiencies. The solutions won't always be creative or cutting edge; sometimes they're the simplest things.
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   Think of the big picture. As you're solving problems (or simply improving what's already satisfactory), you might notice patterns, and wonder if many of those issues are symptoms of a deeper, bigger problem or construct. Thoreau once said, "For every thousand hacking at the leaves of evil, one is hacking at the root." Take a step back and try to find the root. The deeper matter is often not something anybody can solve alone; it'll require a group effort, which is where your role as a leader comes into play.
   • If you are working closely with a team, use them to your advantage. What roles do they feel best suited for? How is their time being utilized? What ideas do they have that have yet to be implemented? In many cases, growth is a matter of rearranging and refining -- not necessarily a problem at all.
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   Be proactive. If you have these ideas in your mind about what the deeper issues are, you can probably predict the problems that will crop up as a result. Instead of waiting for those problems to appear, take steps to prevent them. If you can't prevent them, then you can at least prepare. That's the core difference between a leader and a manager. A good manager responds well to various situations; a good leader takes effective action to prevent and create situations before they actually happen.
   • Don't be afraid to assign roles to your team! They may take solace in the label. If you see a potential problem, construct a preventative task force. That's what your team is there for, after all.
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   Make decisions and take responsibility for the consequences. To exert influence and tackle bigger problems, you're going to need decision-making power, and those decisions will affect the people who grant you that power. This is as much a responsibility as it is an honor. Not only do you need to be able to make sound decisions, but you also need to be willing to be held accountable to them. If things go wrong, people will assume it's your fault (whether it is or not).
   • Think of yourself as the captain of a ship; the fate of the ship is essentially in your hands, and it's up to you to steer everyone in the right direction.
   • Exercise wisdom when being in charge; hope for the best and prepare for the worst.
   • If you're not prepared to take responsibility for your decisions - if you struggle with hesitation and self-doubt - it might be a good idea to step down. An insecure leader often becomes a tyrant.
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   Share your vision. As a leader, you can see the bigger issues, but you can also see how things could be so much better if we could just remove those obstacles. To get people to help you in changing things, you need to share that positive vision with them. Inspire them. Motivate them. Guide them. Show them how their actions are bringing everyone closer to that dream.
   • John Gardner is quoted to have said, "Most importantly, leaders can conceive and articulate goals that lift people out of their petty preoccupations and unite them in pursuit of objectives worthy of their best efforts." Let that be you.
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   Remember that it is about the entire team. The greatest leaders saw their role to an end, and themselves, as an instrument of a deeper purpose; any glory, prestige, or wealth was a side effect rather than a motivation. After all, nothing would get done with just the efforts of one man. Or woman!
   • If you want to realize a vision, the most effective way to do it is not with an army of drones; that army will only last as long as you do. For the most long-lasting results, share your vision and let people adopt it as their own, and let it spread like wildfire.
   • Think of yourself as the beginning of a chain reaction--once it's begun, you can step away and it'll continue to happen without any effort on your part.
   • Here's another apt quote for you -- this one from Lao Tzu: "A leader is best when people barely know he exists. When his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves."