Friday 27 March 2015

culled from:

Love is tricky. Sometimes it even involves trickery. That’s when it’s time to get out. Of course, in an ideal world, communication between partners is always honest and clear, but many times it is not. People get frightened and don’t dare to speak their minds (whether from fear of getting hurt, or hurting), or they simply don’t think to say what’s on their mind as they deem it obvious. This can lead to confusion.
So, here are some telltale signs of where your relationship is going, as well as some really good advice on communication, as that’s the best way of finding out whether someone loves you, or loves you not, after all.

Don’t make assumptions

So, in a post which is all about signs that indicate whether someone loves you or they don’t, I must start with one rule: don’t make assumptions. Whilst it can be great to gauge where someone is at, as it will make communication easier (you approach the topic from where you are at, not where you wish or fear you were at), you have to promise yourself to communicate with your man (or woman) to ensure you got the right end of the stick.
Making assumptions can lead to all sorts of heartbreak, as Don Miguel Ruiz explains in his famous book The Four Agreements where Don’t Make Assumptions is one of the agreements.
Only too many times we end up blaming partners for not loving us in ways we wish to be loved, whilst, in fact, they love us in ways they think are obvious (The Five Love Languages is an excellent book if you want to love someone in ways they understand, whilst being loved in ways you want to be loved).
We then feel like we aren’t loved and come at our partners with accusations when they weren’t doing anything wrong. We make an assumption they don’t love us, whilst they make an assumption we know they love us.

He introduces you to his family

Unless his family is so hideous he hopes they will frighten you off, it’s likely he likes you if he introduces you to them. If they are not his favorite people and he still introduces you, it actually often shows that he trusts you enough to see a part of his life he isn’t comfortable with. It’s actually very unlikely he’d introduce you to them to scare you away, though it would make for a funny scene in a movie.
If his family is lovely, well, then he probably treasures them and wants you to meet them as he treasures you as well. There are people who introduce everyone to their family for no reason other than they hang out with their family so much that everyone around them get to meet them, but in most cases an introduction to the family means you are special.

He remembers what you say

Whilst different things stand out to different people, and they don’t always remember what you think would be the most obvious things to remember, if someone you date remembers a lot of what you have said and take it to heart, then it’s a surefire sign they are paying attention to you and value your thoughts and opinions.
Just don’t bank on him remembering your birthday. It appears some men suffer an incurable disease in this area. Rather, set an alarm on his phone a week, three days and a day before. Even on the day if he’s an extremely forgetful person.
If you want to avoid him asking you what you want on the day, you may also want to type in that you would love for him to surprise you with an activity he knows you’d love. Most men otherwise think it real practical to show up on the day and ask you what you’d love to do, which you might not find to be the greatest of gifts.

He looks after you

Although guys have different ways of looking after someone – some believe the best way is a massage after work, others work to make you proud and some will buy you gifts – the bottom line is that if he cares he will look after you in whatever way he was raised to look after women. Just make sure you figure out what those ways are, as it may not be the same as you’d consider great ways of looking after you. Communication is key here.

He shows physical affection in public

Whilst some men never show physical affection in public (as they just weren’t raised that way), most men in love do. Whether he holds your hand when out and about, hugs you when he meets up with you in a crowded place, or caresses you when sitting next to you somewhere, this shows he’s ready to show he cares to other people.
If he’s still anxious about your relationship status and doesn’t know whether he really likes you, or not, he probably won’t show that much affection. Especially not around friends and family.

He talks of the future

When someone loves you, they tend to include you in their dreams of the future. This can take a while, especially as they want to feel secure about you and their own feelings when doing so, but if they like you, they are hoping you will have a future together.
Sure, some men are scared of commitment and it might take a while till they even realize they wish for you to be a part of their long term future, but they will start with smaller things, like including you in their vacation plans.

He says “we” instead of “I”

When someone starts feeling like you are a couple, they will often say “we” instead of “I.” As they attend events with you and do other things with you, it becomes natural. However, if they are holding onto their independence they will stick to the “I.”

He makes time for you

Although some people are busier than others, and you might meet someone during an extremely busy period of their life, people who care make time for you whenever there’s even a tiny chance for it. Even if it’s a quick message at night to ask you how your day has been, or ensuring during their only day off they get to see you for a couple of hours.
If you always end up bottom of the priority list, it’s time to look around for someone new.

He introduces you to friends

When someone starts taking you to dinner parties and other events with friends, they usually consider you someone who they want to show off and who they want to introduce to some of the most important people in their lives: their friends.

He thinks about your wellbeing

The men who love you will think about you and what’s best for you. They will worry about you when you are sick, be concerned about your workload, care for you when you are tired and, in general, have your best interest at heart.

He shows you off

When you are out and about, he loves showing you off to other people. Not just because you are eye candy, but because he is genuinely proud of all of you.

He gets jealous

Whilst you don’t want someone texting you non-stop if you are out on your own, or worse: checking your phone, or forbidding you to spend time with other men (that’s a sign of insecurity and the guy needs therapy), you do want someone who likes showing you’re his when other men start hitting on you. Then again, if he knows a 100% of you is his, he might not get all that jealous.

He tries to protect you

Call it a remnant from the Stone Age, but most men still want to protect the ladies. Especially the ladies they love. Nothing will make your guy feel better than when you show you need him for some manly tasks. It also means he is likely to dote on you. Sometimes in ways you probably won’t understand, other times in ways you will appreciate.

He trusts you

He is fine with telling you things he doesn’t tell the world, and he trusts that you will do the right thing in various situations.

He has faith in you

A man in love with you will often believe you can do anything. Whilst some of the rosy clouds will disappear further down the line, chances are he still thinks you are extremely special and have something other women lack. That’s why he is with you. He also thinks you can achieve things other women can’t. He looks at you with admiration in his eyes.

He wants to have sex with you

Whether you are having sex yet or not, he is madly attracted to you. Sure, he might get busy at times and have less of a sex drive, but as a general rule he loves touching you, being near you and making love to you.
Some men are more timid than others, and some find it hard to express emotions, whether verbally or through physical affection, but the desire to be with you is still there and he would love to tear your clothes off, whether he has the guts to do so, or you are at that stage of the relationship.

He misses you

He sends you texts, or calls you when you aren’t able to meet up and misses you if you go away for a few days, or he simply can’t see you.

He wants your advice

Whilst some men have a hard time sharing thoughts and feelings, men who adore you usually want your advice on things, even if it’s only what tie to wear to work.

He’s honest with you

Sometimes honesty takes a lot of guts, especially if it’s something uncomfortable. The only way to build a real relationship though is to be honest about things. If you lie, your whole relationship becomes a lie.
When a man shares things he wouldn’t usually share, or care enough to be honest with you about matters he finds difficult to handle, like his flaws, he usually does it because you mean, or could come to mean a lot to him.

Signs he’s not that into you

source via
There are cultural differences, times in life when we meet someone even if we don’t have time for a relationship, days when we are stressed, and of course, individual not-so-nice patterns people may have whether they love you or not. As a general rule though, the signs below are signs he’s not that into you:
  • he never texts you and, in general, doesn’t seem keen on calling you to check how your day was
  • he doesn’t introduce you to his family even after a long time of dating
  • he does not want to be exclusive two or three months down the line
  • he never includes you when talking about the future
  • when you want to bring him to meet your family, he bails out every time
  • he doesn’t bring you to events his friends arrange
  • he never does any kind and cute gestures like buying you flowers, or offering you a massage after a long day’s work
  • you are at the bottom of his priority list when it comes to spending time with you
  • he seems to only call when he wants sex
  • he never shares his deeper thoughts and feelings with you
  • he’s completely blasé when other guys flirt with you
  • he doesn’t miss you if you spend the weekend away
  • if you mention something you want to do with him some two months ahead, he gets hesitant
  • he doesn’t seem to care when you tell him about troubles you are going through
  • the dates he takes you on seem to lack any kind of effort put into them
  • he doesn’t really light up when he sees you
  • he fights with you a lot and does not seem too keen on making up afterwards
  • he is constantly talking about not knowing if you are right for him
  • his future dreams are not similar to yours and he does not seem interested in compromises
  • he puts you down a lot, complaining about who you are, what you do, or what you wear
  • it seems dating you is a secret
  • he uses you as an accessory to show off
  • he makes fun of your life, decisions, friends, etc. and not in a funny and flirtatious kind of way
  • he lies to you or simply doesn’t care to tell you the truth about things


Post a Comment