How to Be Honourable

culled from:wikihow.com

Part 1 of 2: Developing a Sense of Honor

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   Be the person you say you are. It’s easy to be a pleasant person, walking around with a ready smile and a “hello” for everyone you see. But being honourable isn’t the same thing as being friendly. When it comes to honor, it’s more important to be authentic. Show the world who you really are, even if it come at the expense of your reputation for being “nice.” To be honourable, you’ve got to be trustworthy.

   • If you hide your real thoughts and feelings behind a masked expression, try taking off the mask and see what happens. Maybe people will be put off at first, but after awhile they’ll come to trust you more, since you’re revealing more of yourself to them.
   • This isn’t to say you should go around being surly, but try to be more expressive of how you really feel instead of sugarcoating everything to make social interactions easier or to try to get people to like you.

    

   Part 2 of 2: Behaving Honorably

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      Work for what you want. Do you want a new car? A boyfriend? Some new clothes? You deserve all of these things, but don’t use shortcuts to get them. It’s so much easier to take the easy way out, but this usually requires hurting someone else, and if you do it often enough it’ll backfire. If you want something, work for it. It’s the honourable thing to do.

      • Don’t steal or try to rip people off instead of paying what you owe.
      • Don’t shamelessly flirt with someone else’s tipsy girlfriend instead of forming an actual relationship with someone who’s available.
      • Don’t keep borrowing money from your friends and family instead of getting a job.
      • Don’t take credit for someone else’s idea instead of coming up with your own.
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      Speak the truth. Honesty and honor go hand in hand. Work on always telling the truth, whether it’s about your own intentions or an outside situation. It will certainly make you uncomfortable at times, and you might be subject to other people’s anger or hurt feelings. But ultimately, people will appreciate that you’re someone who tells it like it is instead of sugarcoating.

      • If there’s a situation in which you don’t feel comfortable telling the truth, just don’t say anything. It’s better than lying.
      • When it comes to the tiny lies we tell to spare feelings, you make the call. Just know that if you lie often enough, even in this small way (“No, that dress looks great!” or “Yes, I really liked your speech!”) people will stop trusting your opinion and begin to assume you’re just being nice.
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      Defend what you believe in. Developing your values is one thing, but standing up for them is quite another. It’s easy to argue with something in your head, but honourable people speak up and step in. Defending your values can mean any number of things, and it doesn’t always need to involve a big show. In little ways, you can behave honorably and set an example for other people.

      • For example, if everyone at work makes fun of a certain person when he’s not around, you could make it clear you don’t think it’s right. Sometimes just saying “I disagree” or even changing the subject every time it comes up is a way to make your opinion known.
      • Sometimes you’ll be faced with a bigger problem, and you’ll have to choose between standing up for what you think is right and keeping your job, or staying friends with someone, or upholding your reputation as a sweet and genial person. That’s when true honor kicks in, and hopefully all those times you were honourable in little ways will prepare you for the big decisions.
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      Come to people’s aid. If you were to draw a cartoon of an honourable person, it might look like a guy giving up his seat on the bus for an elderly person while helping a child carry his luggage and offering to front fare for someone who forgot change. These cliches all demonstrate ways to be honourable, and they’re all situations that could happen in real life and provide easy opportunities to be a little honourable. However, true honor is demonstrated when you’re called upon to do something you really don’t want to do, and you do it anyway.

      • For example, maybe your brother and his two dogs need a place to crash for three weeks after losing their house. Things will be pretty cramped, but he’s your brother, so you do it.
      • Or maybe you’re in the car on the way to airport to catch a flight to Venice for your honeymoon, and you witness a car run off the road and hit the guardrail. Even though it means you’re going to miss your flight, you stop and offer your assistance.
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      Never manipulate people. Part of being honourable is acknowledging the effect your words and actions have on other people. You have the ability to help, and you have the ability to hurt. Don’t mess with people’s emotions as a way to get what you want. It’s easy to do this without even realizing it, so try to be more mindful of the impact you’re having.^[1]

      • Don’t take advantage of weakness, like using someone’s illness to gain an edge on them.
      • Don’t be controlling of those around you. Let them make their own decisions.
      • Don’t guilt trip people into doing what you want.
      • Don’t lead people on by making them think you’re more emotionally involved than you really feel.