Important things to learn from your failed relationship

culled from:pulse.ng

When you go through a relationship break-up, chances are, you'll begin to analyze your past and lose faith in true love.

The feeling of disappointment will lead you to spend most of your time looking for a reason why your partner broke up with you. Instead of doing that, try finding a lesson from your past relationship.

Here are some tips to help you identify those important things you need to learn from your failed relationship.

• Learn how to let go gracefully: The truth is that some relationships actually teach us how to honourably let go. After a considerable reflection on the opportunity to build a happy and healthy relationship, you may realize that this love doesn’t cost your time and energy to continue. Unhappy relationships teach you to struggle for happiness. Also, you should use the opportunity to let go of the past in order to be able to find the true love of your life and cultivate a long and loving relationship. Don’t become disappointed the next time you face a relationship break-up, because it may help you develop a new vision of the world and start a better relationship.
• Complete yourself: Yes, other people can improve you and fill your life with joy and happiness, but you should realize that people will never complete you or live up to your expectations. There’s no need for validation from your partner. First of all, you should learn to cultivate self-love before you can share it with your beloved. Try to develop yourself until you find yourself confident and complete. It requires you to change your actions, thoughts, emotions and behaviours.
• Everyone needs free space: Many people believe that a true love means that they should spend 24 hours a day together with the person they love. Such schedule will make you lose your identity in a short period of time. Remember, everyone needs some free time and space to satisfy their personal needs and do things that make them feel alive. By all means, don’t let your identity die, because it will be difficult to bounce back.
• The lust period is temporary: This wonderful period usually makes you fly on the wings of love. When you are extremely happy, you spend hours dressing to impress your partner and talking about love till the dawn. Sadly, the period of butterflies in the stomach ends fast and infatuation turns into a real and adequate love. Love is the period when you are ready to share both good and bad with the person you love. Love really grows when you have no fear to lose and when you absolutely accept all pros and cons of your significant other.
• Get rid of your inner conflicts: Your attitude and behaviour in your relationship can be the reflection of your fears and anxiety which is going on in your sub-consciousness. If you want to have a healthy relationship, you should start from healing your inner world from fears and conflicts. Plus, you need to do all possible things to boost your self-esteem. Begin to love yourself and you’ll be able to share your love with somebody else.
• Other people don’t belong to you: These days, we live in a democratic world where people are free and have equal rights and responsibilities. Moreover, we are free to express ourselves and lead an independent life. No matter how long you’ve been together, you should understand that the person you love is not your property. People who really love each other are committed to this beautiful feeling and treat each other with respect. Your love is your muse but not your possession. You cannot control the behaviour and every step of your partner, because it will only break trust in your relationship. The only adequate thing you can do is to trust him/her and try to create common rules of commitment both of you should stick to.
• Don’t even try to change your partner: You can change many things in this world, but it’s almost impossible to change your partner’s outlook and habits. All you can do is to show the right path to your partner and if they have an internal desire to change, they’ll make a shift. A human psyche has the capacity to ignore things and ideas strongly imposed by others. This way your partner may achieve temporary improvements and then return to their casual habits again. If you cannot stand something in your partner, then you should shift your energy and react to the situation in a different way. It’s better to stay calm and respond everything in cold blood.