5 sings to know your spouse is a sex addict

culled from:pulse.ng

Enjoy her!

Sex is a healthy part of life, but for some people, it can become all-consuming. Could you be addicted to sex?

Sex is a basic part of human nature, and it’s perfectly normal - and healthy - to have a vigorous libido.

But there’s a tipping point: when sexual desire can go from being healthy to out of control.

Usually, the difference between enjoying sex and being addicted to sex is apparent. A renowned sex experts, Tina B. Tessina, PhD, this to say about sexual addiction:

'A healthy sexual appetite can be controlled. If sex is unavailable, it is disappointing but not devastating.'

With a sexual addiction, the addict feels desperate to have his or her sexual outlet, no matter the COST.

How to spot a sex addict.

Sexual addiction can manifest itself in many ways, so you will need to look for a variety of possible warning signs that you or your spouse or partner is a sex addict.

Kathryn A. Cunningham, PhD,  identifies the following possibilities:

• Sex dominates an individual’s life to the exclusion of other activities.
• The individual engages in phone sex, computer sex, use of prostitutes, pornography, or exhibitionism.
• The person habitually masturbates.
• The individual has multiple sexual partners or cheats on partners.
• In extreme cases, the person engages in criminal activities, including stalking, rape, incest, or child molestation.

The difference between healthy sex and sexual addiction

The challenging thing about a sexual addiction is that some obsession with sex is healthy. We should have a libido that makes us desire sex. But it goes too far when the person cares more about the act itself than the other person involved.

Kathleen Nickerson, PhD, the founder of FeelBetterNetwork.com says:

'Sexual addiction most often manifests in ONE of TWO ways: substituting sex for love and pursuing different, varied, or extreme sexual activities that are focused on the sex acts, not on any type of connection between two people.'

Though the term “sexual addiction” is commonly used to describe the person’s condition, Nickerson says it’s often a sign of a deeper mental struggle.

'Sexual addiction is a fine descriptor, but it is likely incomplete. Typically, we’d need to say more about what is going on with a person that is making them seek out the excessive sexual behavior.'

When is sexual addiction counseling necessary?

If you or your partner or spouse is a sex addict, he or she will need sexual addiction counseling. This is ONE clear-cut situation in which the assistance of a therapist, support groups, and self-help books can be very important.

If you are in a relationship and the other person’s behavior is hurting the relationship, you should discuss this and come up with an action plan for how the two of you will respond and support each other.

Ultimately, you cannot make anyone else change, but you can encourage actions that will help result in positive change.

Being the loved one of a sex addict is especially difficult because you often become the addiction. Setting your own boundaries and comfort limits is very hard to do with a sex partner, but you have the right to do what is best for you, so you need to risk telling them how you feel and what you need also.

Share your feelings and talk about what you are and are not willing to do. Always act in ways that make you feel comfortable, good about yourself, and safe.

If the relationship is healthy, a person will respond to the needs of his partner or spouse with a sex addiction.

So be clear about expressing what you need, how you feel, and how the addiction is impacting you.