Thursday, 12 March 2015


Part 1 of 3: Being Yourself

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    Be confident. People are attracted to people who seem comfortable with themselves. They have a certain air of coolness that makes you want to find out more. Play up your good qualities and be proud of your accomplishments instead of hiding them. When you feel good about yourself, it definitely shows.
    • Of course, you can't just snap your fingers and make yourself confident, and it's hard to fake it if you really just aren't. If there's something in your life that's bringing you down, work on feeling better about yourself.
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      Relax and enjoy the moment. Do you tend to get nervous around men? Social interactions are awkward for everyone sometimes. Perhaps you act kind of shy and find yourself at a loss for what to say. You might tense up and act like a totally different person, or overcompensate by being either super giggly or cold and rude. If you can be yourself and simply relax, you'll have better results. Knowing how to chill out and just have fun is a really appealing quality.
      • If you feel self-conscious a lot, you may find it hard to connect with people because you're obsessing over how you look or how you're acting instead of focusing on person you're talking to. Work on being fully present in the conversation instead of worrying about your looks or conversation skills.
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      Say what you think. You've probably met lots of girls who are brilliant at saying what they think men want to hear, but this often ends up backfiring once the conversation gets going. It's much more attractive to be yourself from the start by knowing your mind and expressing your thoughts. You have amazing qualities that you shouldn't have to hide, and if the man you're talking to doesn't end up liking them, that conversation was always going to be a dead end, anyway.
      • For example, if a guy asks what you think of a movie you didn't like, say what you really think instead of pretending you liked it just because you think he liked it. If nothing else, it'll lead to an interesting conversation you would never have had if you were simply being agreeable.
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      Share your passions and interests. When people talk about their passions, it's like they come more fully alive. The excitement they feel when talking about what drives them is infectious, and it makes them seem more interesting. It's attractive to feel so passionate about something that you want to share that love with other people. When you're talking to a guy you're interested in, don't be afraid to reveal a little about what's important to you.
      • If you're on the shy side, it might be hard to open up this much right away. But think of it this way: if you push yourself a bit to reveal what makes you tick, the relationship will be able to move along more quickly.
      • Ask questions about his interests, too. Show him that you're interested in getting to know him better.
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      Show men you're a caring person. Ok, so if you just met a guy in a bar and he's being creepy, the situation doesn't call for kindness so much as the ability to extract yourself quickly. But if you meet someone you want to get to know a little better, kindness is always an attractive quality.[1] When it comes down to it, man or woman, we all just want to be accepted and loved, right?
      • There are tons of ways to let him know you're a caring type of person. Surprise him by buying him a drink if he's short on change, ask follow-up questions if he reveals he's unhappy about something, compliment his jacket, tell him you're glad to see him, and so on. It's instantly attractive.
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      Don't act like someone you're not. Whether you're introverted, extroverted, hilarious, serious, quirky, intellectual, sweet, sarcastic or a combination of all of these, don't try to change your personality for the sake of attracting a man. Don't hide or twist your the way you are in an effort to seem more appealing, because when you do that you risk losing your sense of self. You're lovable the way you are, and if someone wants you to change, he's not a good match for you, anyway.
      • Trying to be someone you aren't will just end up hurting you, and it's a dishonest way to start a relationship, too. For example, if you're majoring in math and planning a career as a math professor, don't pretend you don't know anything about the subject because you're afraid you'll come off as intimidating. Your real self will have to emerge at some point, so don't waste time trying to hide it.

    Part 2 of 3: Looking Your Best

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      Recognize your beauty. Maybe you don't conform to conventional beauty standards, but who are those for, anyway? The beauty standards of today are different from those of the past and will continue to shift through time.[2] Movies and magazines depict a particular type of beauty, and there's no denying that models and actresses are beautiful. But in reality we know that beauty has endless different definitions, not just one. If you worry about the way you look, work on letting go of impossible standards and letting your unique beauty fully show — it's so much more attractive than having low self esteem.
      • It doesn't matter what shape you are, what your skin color is, what size you are or how long your hair is: there is beauty in you.
      • Did you know studies show that other people see you as 20 percent more attractive than you see yourself?[3] Too many women judge themselves harshly instead of seeing their own beauty.
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      Find your style. You style should be an expression of your personality, rather than a copy of someone else's version of what's attractive. It doesn't matter what it is as long as it makes you feel confident. You can be just in attractive in jeans and a t-shirt as you can in a low-cut dress and loads of jewelry. If you wear clothes that make you feel good, you'll move through the world with a carefree vibe that's really appealing. If you don't, you'll come off as stiff and awkward.
      • For example, if you hate high heels, don't force yourself to wear them, since it's not attractive to hobble down the sidewalk. On the other hand, if you love dressing up, do it! Just make sure your style reflects who you are and helps you put your best foot forward.
      • To give your style a boost, make sure your clothes fit you well. Don't try to hide your shape by drowning yourself in clothes that are too big.
      • Not sure what your style is? Experiment by wearing something you would normally try, and see if you feel like yourself when you wear it. Play around with accessories, styles and colors you wouldn't normally choose. If they feel good, wear them out on the town; if they make you feel like you're playing dress-up, keep experimenting.
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      Play up your favorite features. Are there certain features that you really love about yourself? Maybe it's your deep brown eyes, your amazing hair or your pretty chin. Whatever it is, other people are sure to think it's attractive, too. Find ways to make it stand out by choosing certain clothes, accessories and makeup that accentuate it.
      • For example, if you have really pretty dark eyes, wearing gold hoop earrings might draw more attention to them.
      • Or if you love your long, slender neck, you could wear v-neck tops or get a shoulder-length haircut that draws the eye to your neck.
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      Experiment with makeup if you want to. Some women feel happier wearing makeup, while others prefer a bare-faced look. Just like with your clothes, you should wear what feels good (and if that means not wearing makeup at all, don't worry about it). If you wear makeup for the sole reason of attracting men, you should know that a recent study showed that men actually prefer women wearing less makeup than they typically do.[4]
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      Show off your hair. It's one of the first things other people will notice about you, so find a style and hair care routine that has your hair looking its very best. No matter what hair texture, color or length you have, there's a style that will bring out its beauty. Play around with different looks until you find one that feels like you.
      • Some guys like girls with long hair, and some guys prefer it short.[5] Instead of worrying about what the anonymous men might think, just find the cut that makes you feel gorgeous.
      • Dying your hair too much, overdoing it with weaves, chemical straightening, and other damaging practices can leave your hair brittle and even cause it to fall out. Most people can agree that damaged hair isn't attractive, so aim to keep your hair healthy over choosing damaging treatments.
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      Get a healthy glow. Looking healthy might be the most important thing you can do to be more attractive. Taking good care of yourself brings out your natural beauty and shows you have confidence and plenty of self-love. Follow a healthy routine that helps you feel and look your best:
      • Take care of your skin by exfoliating and moisturizing it to keep it soft and glowing.
      • Eat nutritious food that nourishes your body to keep it healthy from the inside out.
      • Drink tons of water to hydrate your skin and flush toxins from your body.
      • Avoid smoking and drinking too much alcohol.
      • Get regular exercise to keep yourself strong.
      • Get plenty of sleep and take time to destress when your life feels overwhelming.

    Part 3 of 3: Flirting With Men

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    Hang out in places where you tend to have a lot of fun. These are the spots where you feel the most carefree, relaxed, and happy, making you look and feel more attractive. You'll also be more likely to meet men who share your interests and have fun doing the same things you love. It's the perfect set-up for getting to know someone great and putting your flirting skills to the test.
    • For example, if you love playing softball, join a co-ed softball team. Go to practices and games aiming to kick back and play some ball as well as mingle with your attractive teammates, and possibly impress them by hitting a home run.
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    Make eye contact. This is possibly the most effective flirting technique in the book. Making eye contact projects confidence, show's you're interested, and makes people weak in the knees. Master the art of looking into someone's eyes and lingering just a few seconds longer than normal to he'll get the feeling there's a something deeper going on.
    • Make eye contact at special points in the conversation, like while you're giving him a compliment.
    • Don't linger for too long, or it could get intense and weird. Keep things subtle in the beginning.
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    Smile. It's an easy, friendly way to show you're happy to be there and interested in what he has to say. Make sure your smile is real, engaging your eyes and not just your mouth, which can come off as looking fake. Smile freely and easily to lighten the conversation and keep things feeling fun.
    • Laugh if he says something you think is funny, but make sure it's not forced.
    • A very powerful flirtation technique is to smile and make eye contact at the same time. You'll knock him over.
    • Learn how to flirt with body language, too.
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    Start a conversation. You don't have to wait for him to do the talking. If you're interested in someone, introduce yourself and strike up a friendly conversation so you can get to know each other a bit. Keep things light and tone, discussing the performance you both just watched or the ambiance at the bar where you're hanging out.
    • As you converse, see if you can gauge his interest. If he returns eye contact, asks you questions and seems engaged, keep up the conversation and see where things go.
    • But if he doesn't seem interested, don't push it too far. Just tell him it was nice to meet him and start talking with a friend or someone else. Try not to take it personally; you don't know the guy, so there's no telling why he wasn't in the mood to talk just then.
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    Compliment him after you know him a little better. Complimenting him right away might seem too forward, but after you talk a little, saying something that shows you're interested is a great way to take the conversation to the next level. It'll make him feel a little burst of pleasure and let him know you're attracted to him, which is exactly what you want: studies show that people are more attracted to others who seem attracted to them.[6]
    • Say something genuine. Don't just compliment his tie or shirt, but try to compliment him on something that's a little meaningful. For example, if you talked about your jobs, you could say, "I can see why you're a teacher. You're very patient."
    • Or you could compliment him on something physical, like his smile, eyes or beard (guys are proud of their facial hair).
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    Take it to the next level. If the conversation goes really well, and it seems like he's reciprocating, it's time to take the plunge and get his number. You don't have to wait for him to make the move. Maybe he won't end up being The One, but you'll never know if you don't go on a date so you can really get to know each other.
    • Schedule the date for a few days later so you both have some time to think about it and get ready.
    • If you're not quite ready to go on the date, you could just get his number or give him yours.


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